How to Flirt in Middle School

Co-authored by Maria Avgitidis

Middle school is an exciting time where you will meet a lot of new friends. It's possible, too, that you may even start to like someone as more than a friend! When you start to have these feelings, you might wonder how you can start flirting with that special someone. Luckily, there are a lot of easy ways to show someone you have a crush on them (and see if they like you back). Remember to always be respectful, don’t overdo it, and be yourself.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Using Body Language

1
Let your crush catch you looking at them. Look at your crush from across the room and wait for them to catch you. Look away quickly once they make eye contact with you. This will let them know you are interested in them.^{[1]
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- Don’t overdo it by staring. You don’t want to make your crush uncomfortable, especially if you don’t know yet whether they like you back. There is a fine line between flirting and being creepy, and you definitely don’t want to come off as creepy!
Tip: Try this several times over the course of a few days so that it doesn’t seem like you are staring at your crush. If you catch them looking back at you one day, then they might be into you too!
2
Smile at your crush whenever you see them. Flash your best smile when you cross paths with your crush or when you make eye contact in class. Smiling shows that you are a cheerful person and that you are happy to see your crush.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.}^{[3]
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- Make sure your smile is warm and genuine. Don’t force it. This is a great way to start flirting, especially if you are shy and haven’t gotten up the nerve to talk to your crush yet.
- Even if you are too shy to say hello yet, a smile is a way to say hi without speaking. From there, you can build up the nerve to say hi and eventually start a conversation.
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3
Do activities with them to make it obvious that you like being around them. Ask your crush to be your partner in a classroom activity or on a project. Try to be on their team during gym class. It’s ok to make it clear that you want to be near them. This will clue them in to the fact that you like them, and allow them to consider whether they might like you, too.^{[4]
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- You can “accidentally” throw the ball near your crush while you are playing sports so that you have to go pick it up near them. This is a perfect opportunity to make eye contact and flash them a smile.
- If you’re shy and haven’t talked to your crush yet, joining groups or teams that they're in can give them the opportunity to start talking to you first. If you subtly show them that you like being around them, then conversations are more likely to naturally occur.
4
Observe their body language to see if they might like you back. Try to tell if your crush is using the same kind of flirty body language you are. Watch for them making eye contact, trying to be near you, and smiling at you.^{[5]
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- If you haven’t talked to your crush yet, but you are both using flirty body language, then take the next step and start talking to them to move the flirting forward.
- If your crush steps away, crosses their arms, or points their feet away from you, they may not be interested.^{[6]
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  Expert Source
  
  Maria Avgitidis
  Matchmaker & Dating Expert
  Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.}

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Talking to Your Crush

1
Say hello when you pass your crush in the hallways. A simple hello is the easiest way to start talking to someone. It just takes a few seconds and will at least show your crush that you know they exist.^{[7]
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- When you have a crush on someone, your first instinct might be to ignore them or look down at your phone when you pass them in the hallway. Try your best to ignore this instinct. Make eye contact, smile, and say hi!
- Saying hi is a great first step before having a conversation if you tend to be shy. This way, you will get used to having a verbal interaction with your crush before you try to have a full-on conversation.
2
Try breaking the ice with a cheesy line. It might sound cliche, but ice breakers are called that for a reason! Try throwing out one of those lame lines you’ve heard or read before and you will at least get a laugh.^{[8]
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- Don’t use lines like this out of the blue on someone you don’t know at all or haven’t even said hi to. This is creepy and will not go the way you want it to!
- Embrace the awkwardness of using a cheesy line. Your goal is to come off as cute and funny to your crush. However, flirting isn’t a perfect science, and not everyone responds in the same way. How they react will depend on your crushes personality.
- Always be respectful. If your crush doesn’t seem to think it’s funny, then don’t keep trying. If they seem offended, then it might be a good idea to apologize and say you were just trying to be funny.
Classic Ice Breakers

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you're an angel!”
“How much does an elephant weigh? Just enough to break the ice!”
“Do you know CPR? Because you take my breath away!”
“Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes!”
3
Ask them questions. Ask your crush personal questions about what they are into. This will show you are interested in them and really care about getting to know them.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.} You will also be able to discover things you have in common that you can talk about or do together.^{[10]
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- Asking questions will also help keep the conversation going if you run out of things to say.
- Once you find out things that your crush likes, do some research about those things so you can talk about them with your crush.
Questions to Ask

“What do you spend most of your free time doing?”
“What kind of music do you listen to?”
“What’s something you can do that most other people can’t?”
“What was the best year of your life so far?”
4
Be a good listener. Give your crush plenty of opportunities to talk about themselves and things they like. Pay attention and remember things about them so you can talk about them later and show that you really care.^{[11]
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- Try not to ever hog conversations or be completely silent either. You want to create a balance where you each get chances to talk and get to know each other.
5
Be there for your crush when they need help with something. Offer to help them carry their books to class or help them out with homework. Being there to help out your crush shows that you care about them.^{[12]
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- Don’t overdo it, either. You don’t need to help your crush with every little thing, or they might end up feeling like you think they can’t do it for themselves. Just try to help out with little things here and there to be sweet and show you care about them.
6
Give your crush compliments. Compliment your crush on their style or a particular item of clothing. Tell them your really liked the presentation they gave in class or the art project they did.^{[13]
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- For example, you can say something like: “Hey! I really like that blue shirt you’re wearing, it brings out the blue in your eyes.” or “I really like your painting. You have some serious talent!”
- Don’t give them a compliment every single time you see them. This could make you come on too strong. Once a day or a couple compliments a week is a good amount to show that you’re interested in them, without being over the top.
7
Ask for their number and start texting with them. Ask your crush if you can text them sometime after you have interacted a bit at school. This will allow you to start getting to know them more outside of the short interactions you have at school.^{[14]
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- To get their number, say something like, “Hey, can I have your number so we can talk outside of school sometime?”
- You can text your crush during the day to ask them how their day is going, or in the evenings to talk about your days and joke around.
- There is no rule for how often to text your crush. Just go with what feels natural and let the conversation flow.
- If you are sure you both like each other, then you can say things like: “Hey cutie, you were on my mind today.” or “You looked so cute in math class today.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Finding Out If Your Crush Likes You

1
Always be yourself. Don’t stop being yourself just because you have a crush on someone and want them to like you back. Be clear about what you like and don’t like, and don’t lie about anything to try and get your crush to like you back.^{[15]
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- If you want your flirting to lead to something more, then the best thing you can do is be honest and genuine. That way, the person you like will get to know the real you, and if they like you back it will be because of who you really are!
2
Be honest and tell your crush that you like them. You have nothing to lose by being straightforward with your crush. Sometimes you might not be able to tell just by flirting if they like you back, so just tell them you like them and you will find out!^{[16]
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- Wait for a moment that you two are alone and say something like, “Hey, I just thought you should know that I really like you.” If they like you back, then there is a good chance they will say something like, “I really like you too.”
- You don’t have to go all the way and ask them out yet, especially if you aren’t ready to be dating yet. You can just tell them you like them, and if they like you back then you can keep getting to know each other and see where it goes in the future.
3
Organize a group hangout as a chill way to hang out together if they like you. This is a much more low-pressure way to hang out at first instead of one-on-one. Call up some friends to get together outside of school and invite your crush to let them know you are thinking about them and want to spend time together.^{[17]
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- Say something like, “Hey! I’m having some friends over after school to hang out and maybe order a pizza or something, do you want to come chill?”
- Some activities you could do in a group include going to the movies, having a study session, or hosting a backyard BBQ.
4
Accept it and move on if your crush doesn’t like you back. Accept that it’s not meant to be and don’t take it personally or let it hurt your confidence. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Moving on will open you up to meeting new people and having other experiences.^{[18]
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- It’s ok to feel hurt or disappointed for a little bit, but don’t dwell on it. You are still young and there will be many more crushes that work or don’t work out.
- If you find it hard to stop thinking about your crush, focus on keeping yourself busy. Spend extra time on your hobbies and hanging out with your friends. Soon enough, it won’t seem like such a big deal anymore!

Expert Q&A
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Question

How can I look attractive as a middle school guy?

Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.

Maria Avgitidis

Matchmaker & Dating Expert

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Show off your smile to show that you're open and friendly. That way, other people may be more interested in approaching you.
Question

What if I do something awkward around him? Any lifesaving tips?

Community Answer

Brush it off, laugh at your mistake, try to cover it up after, and distract him from what you just did. Everyone says weird things every now and then.
Question

What if he doesn't like the way you look?

Community Answer

Then he isn't worth it! Don't let a guy change your personal style to one that you dislike.