How to Cheer Up Your Boyfriend Long Distance

Co-authored by Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: November 29, 2022 References

It can be hard to know how to cheer up your boyfriend when he's thousands of miles away. All you want to do is give him a big hug and tell him that it's all going to be alright! Luckily, there are so many ways you can show your boyfriend how much you care that don't involve physically being there. From simple gestures to grand displays of love, read on for tips on how to cheer up your boyfriend in his time of need.

1

Send encouraging messages throughout the day.

This will let him know that he's on your mind. This may seem small, but a simple, "Hope you're having a great day!" can really lift your boyfriend's spirits. Text him throughout the day, call him on your lunch break, or surprise FaceTime him on a Saturday afternoon! If your boyfriend is going through a rough time, this will let him know that he's got you to support him through it.^{[1]
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- If he's dealing with work stress, for example, say something like, "You're so good at what you do. You've got this!"
- Maybe he's really missing you. In that case, text him, "I haven't been able to get you off of my mind all day. Thinking of you always."
- Throw in some sweet emojis, like hearts and smiley faces to really get your love and support across virtually.

2

Message him a funny video.

YouTube can be a great help when cheering up your boyfriend. Pick a funny scene from a TV show that you both love or a random, hilarious TikTok video you know fits right with his sense of humor. This can be a great way to distract your boyfriend from what's upsetting him.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical
Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} Laughing can help him blow off steam and remember the positives in life.^{[3]
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- Caption the video with something like, "I thought this might cheer you up" or "I watch this anytime I'm having a bad day."

3

Send him a picture of you.

He'll be happy to see your face. Send him something silly and cute, like a picture of you with your breakfast first thing in the morning. If you're feeling flirty, maybe send him a picture of you in a saucy new outfit. Whatever you're comfortable with is sure to put a smile on his face.
- If you don't want to send a picture of your face, try a picture of your view instead. Send him a picture of the view from your apartment window with a personable caption like, "Wish you were here. Thinking of you!"

4

Reminisce about your favorite memories together.

This can help him feel close to you even when you're apart. Bring up the time you went to a midnight movie or took a spontaneous trip to the beach. Any favorite memories you share can help get your boyfriend to think about happier times. This will hopefully cheer him up and remind him that things really aren't so bad. If he's upset because he misses you, this will remind him that you're thinking of him, too.^{[4]
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- Text him, "I just remembered that time we rented the wrong movie from the video store. Remember that horrible CGI? I haven't laughed that hard in months!"
- If you're feeling bold, reminisce about your favorite moments of physical touch. Say something like, "I can't wait to kiss you again. Remember the last night you were here?"

5

Talk about what's upsetting him.

Let him know that he can vent to you if that would be helpful. Your boyfriend might just need a listening ear to process what's bothering him. Show your support by telling him you're always here if he wants to talk about it.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical
Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} If he does, really listen to what he has to say and ask questions to show that you want to understand his feelings.^{[6]
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Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
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- Text him something like, "I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Want to talk about it on the phone when I get home?"
- If you're on the phone already, say, "I just want you to know I'm always here. We can talk about this for as long as you would like!"
- Respect his space if he doesn't want to talk about it. Maybe a distraction will be a better way to cheer up him in that case!

6

Tell your boyfriend how much you appreciate him.

Compliment him and let him know how grateful you are for him. Pick specific things you love about your boyfriend. Tell him how handsome he is or much you like his smile. You can also share specific qualities you really appreciate and miss, like how good of a cook he is or how much you miss listening to him play the guitar. Just pick something specific so he knows it's from the heart. Feeling validated and appreciated will hopefully cheer him up, regardless of what's upsetting him!^{[7]
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- Try, "I could really use your spaghetti right now. You could've been a chef in another life!"
- Be a little flirty and say something like, "You've got the most gorgeous hair. You know that, right?"
Expert Answer

Q

How do you keep a long distance relationship happy and strong long term?

Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical
Raffi Bilek is a couples counselor and family therapist, and the Director of The Baltimore Therapy Center, LLC. With more than ten years of experience, he specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families save and improve their relationships. He enjoys training other therapists to work with couples through the most difficult situations, including infidelity, divorce, and more. Raffi holds a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science from Brown University and a Master's degree in Social Work from The Wurzweiler School of Social Work.

EXPERT ADVICE

Answer from Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C:

Communication is key! Communication is an important way to keep you both in each others' lives. Stay in touch for big things and little things, whether it's a call, text, email, or snail mail. Not every conversation has to be super significant—for example, you can just call him for a couple of minutes to share a funny joke before hanging up.

7

Video chat so you can see each other.

This will feel the closest to cheering him up in person. Seeing each other's faces will make you feel more connected, even if you're separated by thousands of miles.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical
Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} Pick a time to video chat and talk. If your boyfriend has got something upsetting him, this may help ease communication. It will be easier to read how your boyfriend is feeling if you can see his body language and facial expressions.^{[9]
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- When scheduling the video chat, say, "I miss your face. Want to FaceTime this evening?"

8

Schedule a virtual dinner date.

This is a romantic way to show how much you care about him. Get takeout from your favorite restaurants in your respective areas and eat some yummy food over FaceTime. If he's feeling pretty bummed out, he may not be in the mood to cook. Tell him you want to order in and relax together.^{[10]
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- Try something like, "Want to forget our troubles and get some takeout? I think some shrimp scampi could really help."

9

Plan a fun and creative virtual activity.

Attend a virtual museum tour or watch a movie together over Zoom. Suggest something that will distract your boyfriend from what's upsetting him. If he's really having a hard time, getting his mind off of the problem can make him remember the good things in life. Pick a comedy to watch together (the dumber and more light-hearted the better). Look up tours being offered at museums online, and choose one that would appeal to his taste.
- He may not be up for any big plans if he's really upset. Try suggesting the option without any attachment. Say something like, "I totally understand if you're not feeling up for it right now, but want to watch a movie together tonight?"

10

Bring up future plans.

Talk about everything you want to do next time you see each other in person.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical
Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.} If your boyfriend is visiting next month, talk about how excited you are to see him. Suggest things you can do, like going to your favorite restaurant together or walking around the prettiest park in the city. You can even tell him how much you look forward to kissing him.^{[12]
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- If you don't have any concrete plans lined up, you can still talk about the next time you'll see each other, or even start making a solid plan. This will really cheer him up!

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you spend quality time with your boyfriend in a long distance relationship?

Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C
Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical
Raffi Bilek is a couples counselor and family therapist, and the Director of The Baltimore Therapy Center, LLC. With more than ten years of experience, he specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families save and improve their relationships. He enjoys training other therapists to work with couples through the most difficult situations, including infidelity, divorce, and more. Raffi holds a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science from Brown University and a Master's degree in Social Work from The Wurzweiler School of Social Work.

Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C

Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical

Expert Answer

Spend lots of virtual time together! Just put your phone, tablet, or computer on the table and chill like you normally would if you were in the same place.