How to Be Better Than Your Enemy

Last Updated: June 16, 2022 References

Forgiveness and acceptance are the keys to overpowering your enemy. Even using the word "enemy" is problematic and if you continue to see life in this black and white context, you will be the one who ends up suffering, not your so-called "enemies".

Steps

1
Stop keeping tabs of your enemy's achievements and your belittlement's. If you continue to think of yourself as treated unfairly by a relation to your enemy, over time, you give that person power over you to ruin your day. You make that person into something they are not - your keeper, your guiding point and your unwanted mentor. If you stop using this person as the yardstick of your life, things will suddenly become a lot easier for you.^{[1]
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2
Stop referring to the other person as an enemy. So, they don't like you or you feel that they showed you up in some way. It doesn't make things better by calling them an enemy. As life goes on, you will continue to meet people you don't much like but you have to learn to get along with them for the sake of harmonious relations as a whole. Why not start learning now while you are young? Or even if you are old and haven't yet learned this lesson, there is no time like the present. Labels are a way of getting and ceding power. If you label this person as an "enemy", you give them power over you as you perceive yourself the "victim" in the relationship between the two of you.^{[2]
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3
Turn the other cheek. Whether or not you follow Christian teachings, this is as good a piece of advice as anything. You provide them with ammunition if you call them names, either to their face or behind their back. And you are the one who is festering while they party; that is no way to live!
4
Live your life. Do not allow this person to discourage you from doing the things you want to do. If this person goes somewhere that you want to go, and you feel that you cannot go to that place because they are at that location, go anyway. Sit or stand in a different place from them, be civil and simply nod if you bump into them, and don't try to let their presence ruin your experience. If anything, if this person dislikes you, your being there is a source of consternation in itself to them and that is enough to provide an equalizing in your relations.^{[3]
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- Focus on your own strengths, positive attributes, and way of navigating the world. The more energy you put into yourself, the less energy you'll put into your enemy. Invest in your own hobbies, activities, and friends.
5
Look to yourself. What do you need to do to feel better about yourself? If someone bothers you so much that you feel you need to label them as an "enemy", maybe you are jealous of them, or you feel insecure around them. The answer is not to belittle them; it is to find the source of why you feel this way and to seek a solution. If you feel they are prettier than you, it is time to start grooming yourself with greater attention. A well-groomed person is as beautiful as someone born with great looks. Always remember that what is on the inside matters more to people than superficial looks. There are other ways to improve your self-esteem too - learn more, practice more, read more, sing more, dance more, play sports more, do anything that you want to be better at - more.^{[4]
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6
Be nice. No matter how rudely the other person treats you, don't return the volley. Remain polite, courteous and curious. Curiosity in what motivates them. When you try to stand in the other person's shoes, interesting things start to reveal themselves, such as how much of a burden that popularity or beauty just may be.^{[5]
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7
Forgive them and accept who you both are. Forgiveness for things done lets you move on and be the stronger person.^{[6]
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Research source} This means that if you must see it as a confrontation, you "win" in the long run by having peace of mind and intact personal integrity. Accept that both of you are valuable parts of life on this planet and be in awe that you have been given this chance to live a wonderful life.

Community Q&A

Question

What should I do if my enemy steals my best friend from me?

Community Answer

That's a tough one. You can try to talk to your best friend and explain that you feel you've lost her friendship to someone you think might be misrepresenting you. Ultimately, though, your friend has to decide whose voice to listen to and where her loyalties lie. The way you can be the better person in this situation is to avoid badmouthing your enemy and give your friend the freedom to make up her own mind.
Question

What do I do if my friends become my enemies?

Community Answer

Be the bigger person and apologize, tell them you hope you can all get along. If this doesn't work, just avoid those people and find better friends.
Question

What should you do if the mean person hurts you in a physical way?

Community Answer

Usually nobody will hurt you in physical way without an exchange of words first (insults), so you ought to have a heads up they're gearing up to be physical. This gives you time to leave before that happens. However, if they do just come up and attack you physically, get and stay away immediately and report the behavior to persons in charge.