How to Attract the Opposite Sex

Co-authored by Lisa Shield

Last Updated: January 25, 2022 References

It's a basic part of human nature to want to be attractive to others. Thankfully, there are lots of proven ways to make yourself more attractive by modifying how you look, act, and flirt. Being confident and taking the time to make sure you look your best are great ways to prepare yourself to interact with others. Remember to be yourself and focus on being a genuine, kind person—in the end, those are the most attractive qualities you can have!

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Looking and Feeling Your Best

1
Use your body language to tell others you are confident. Keep your shoulders back instead of hunching them forward. Leave your arms at your sides rather than crossing them over your chest. Lift your head when you're walking or talking with others instead of looking at the ground. Pick your feet up off the ground rather than shuffling them as you walk. All of these non-verbal actions will make you appear more confident.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- People are generally attracted to others who aren't closed off. You'll seem much more approachable if you keep your body loose and open.
2
Pick a wardrobe that makes you feel good about yourself. Every body is a beautiful body—and choosing the right clothes can make a huge difference in how others see you. Choose clothes that fit you well and keep them clean and in good condition.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Remember to stay true to your style. If you hate the newest trend and adopt it just because it's cool, you won't feel comfortable.
- Avoid wearing clothes that are dirty or ripped (unless that is intentionally part of your style).
- Use detail, like a belt, necklace, tie, or style of clothes to draw attention to what you think is your best asset.
- Wear colors that bring out your eyes or that highlight your complexion.
- Avoid wearing clothes that are either too big, which can make you look frumpy, or too tight, which can make you look and feel uncomfortable.
Advertisement
3
Practice good dental hygiene so your smile is pearly white. Brush your teeth at least twice a day, floss once a day, and visit the dentist for a cleaning every 6 months. You could also use teeth-whitening toothpaste or strips to reduce yellow stains.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- A smile full of white teeth has been proven to be a super attractive trait.
- Keeping your smile healthy will also help eliminate bad breath, which will be a plus when you're flirting!
4
Adopt a daily skincare routine to promote a healthy glow. Start by determining what kind of skin type you have so you know what kind of products to use. Wash your face in the morning when you wake up and in the evening before you go to bed. Consider using toner, acne-treatments, and lotion to control acne and give your skin an even tone.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Clear skin will make you look better and feel more confident.
- If you have persistent acne or skin issues that don't clear up on their own, schedule a visit with a dermatologist.
5
Smile and exude happiness to appear more attractive. Choose to look on the bright side and see the good in every situation. Encourage others around you to do the same with your attitude. People are drawn to others who are happy.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- Practice smiling at strangers and see how many of them smile back. Not everyone will, but you'll notice that many people respond positively to a warm smile.
- While you want to be encouraging to others, avoid making statements like, “You should smile more,” or, “You should try to be more positive.” These statements will most likely make others feel angry or alienated.
6
Act and think positively to boost your self-image. If you start talking to someone thinking that they won't like you, you're already setting yourself up for failure. Accept yourself the way you are, don't judge others, and practice being grateful for big and small things throughout the day.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Nobody wants to spend a lot of time around someone who is always gloomy or waiting for the worst to happen.
Tip: Try saying “Thank you” more often. When someone does something nice for you, big or small, thank them with a big smile. You could even try thanking the universe or whatever entity you most believe in when good things happen.
7
Manage your stress level to appear more relaxed and approachable. Stress is a normal part of life, but learning how to healthily cope with stress can make a big difference in how you look and feel daily. Try out a few of these stress-busting ideas the next time you feel yourself getting overwhelmed:^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Exercise regularly
- Get enough sleep every night
- Talk to a friend
- Journal
- Meditate
- Practice self-care

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Being Flirtatious

1
Make eye contact. Keep your eyes soft by not opening your eyes super wide or staring too intensely, and hold the other person's gaze for a few seconds longer than you normally would.^{[8]
X
Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.} Smile at them while you're making eye contact for even more impact.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- Making eye contact is different from staring at a person. Don't widen your eyes and stare at the person until they look at you. Just try to casually catch the eye of someone you're interested in.
- When you break eye contact, look away slowly, almost like you’re hesitant to do so. Avoid furtively glancing away as that could convey that you feel nervous or are trying to hide something.
2
Find ways to break the touch-barrier to make physical contact. Wait until you’re in the middle of a conversation with someone before you touch them—it would be weird to walk up to someone and touch their arm if you’ve never spoken to them before. But during a conversation, a gently placed hand on the arm or shoulder is a nice way to touch someone without it being invasive. Let your hand rest on the person's arm for 1-2 seconds for a quick flirtatious touch.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- Choose times like when the person says something really funny or if you’re talking about something that makes you feel connected to them.
- Touch is a big part of flirting, but it can also cross the line into unwanted physical touch pretty quickly. Be cautious and respectful of other people's space.
Tip: Pay attention to the other person's verbal and non-verbal cues. If the person steps away from you, pulls away, or crosses their arms in front of them, they may not be comfortable with your interaction. Back up and give them some space. You don't want to come across as pushy or creepy.
3
Get the other person laughing and keep the conversation light. Laughter is contagious and automatically opens people up to each other. Focus on fun and interesting topics rather than sad or dark subjects. Depending on who you're talking to, try out one of these different ways to get someone to laugh:^{[11]
X
Research source}
- Tell a classic joke if you’re trying to break the ice
- Tell a funny anecdote to keep the conversation going and encourage the other person to open up more
- Be witty or sarcastic to see if you and the other person have similar senses of humor
- Tease someone or use comeback lines to flirt in a lighthearted way
4
Give a genuine compliment to endear the other person to you. The key to giving a good compliment is to be sincere and specific. For example, saying “Your eyes are the most beautiful shade of hazel,” is much more impactful than just saying, “You have nice eyes.” Try to avoid giving compliments that are overly-sexual, as you don’t know if that kind of attention would be welcome or not. Try out some of these other flirty lines:^{[12]
X
Research source}
- “Your laugh is contagious.”
- “You did such a great job on your presentation the other day. I could take some pointers from you.”
- “I always start grinning like an idiot every time I see you.”
5
Focus on the other person instead of on yourself to flatter them. Ask them open-ended questions to draw them out and deepen your connection.^{[13]
X
Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.} Open-ended questions are ones that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer. For example:^{[14]
X
Research source}
- “Tell me what your ideal weekend looks like.”
- “Tell me more about ____.”
- “What are you looking for in a person?”
- “Tell me about your family growing up.”
- “What do you like to do to unwind at the end of a long day?”
Tip: If you're struggling to keep a conversation going, simply say, “Tell me more about that.” It's a nice way for you to invite the person to give more details.
6
Practice speaking with a seductive tone to appear more desirable. According to studies, men find women who speak with a slightly higher octave to be more attractive than women with a deeper register. On the flip side, women are initially more attracted to men with a deeper voice—but, in the longterm, women aren't impacted as much by octave as men are. Try to be aware of your voice’s register and speak at either the higher or lower end of your natural tone of voice.^{[15]
X
Research source}
- Even if you feel nervous, slow down your speech and be intentional with each word you say. This will make you sound like you're in control and confident, which are really attractive qualities.
- If this feels too hard or unnatural, don’t worry about it! Trying to force your voice too far could make you sound strange, which is something you want to avoid.