How to Trick Your Family Into Thinking You're Straight

Identify whether you are at risk. If you were to come out to your family, what would happen? Would they act cold or angry? Would they kick you out? Is this a matter of emotional security or personal safety?

Figure out their opinion if it isn't clear already. Try mentioning an LGBT+ related topic, like The Trevor Project or a celebrity who came out.

• Some people are harsher on LGBT+ people because they don't think they personally know any. They may be more understanding if you come out, and they realize they are talking to a real, LGBT+ human being.

Consider family members individually. Maybe your dad and sister are accepting of LGBT+ people, but your mom isn't. You may be able to tell the truth to part of your family.

• If you're telling only some people, be sure to consider their abilities as a secret-keeper. You may not want to tell someone about your identity if they have a habit of not keeping secrets.

Look for someone whom you can confide in. Perhaps you have a friend, loved one, or another mentor whom you trust to respect you and keep your secret. Your emotional health is important, and hiding who you are hurts. It's important to have someone who has your back.

Don't flaunt a disregard of gender stereotypes. Most people will assume anyone who is non-gender-conforming is also not straight because of persisting stereotypes like all gay men are feminine and lesbian women are butch.

Appear differently. While it's optional, it may make it easier to convince your family if you conform to gender roles. If you are a woman, long hair, cute shoes and make-up and if you are a man, masculine clothing such as basketball shorts, sneakers, and bleak colors. However, most people will not assume someone is gay based solely on these things, especially family members who think they know you. They will likely just think that your interests are your interests, same as they are for every straight person in the world who doesn't conform to stereotypes.

If you still want to show support for LGBT+ rights, don't precede every sentence with either "I'm straight, but..." or "I'm not gay, but..." Remember, it's completely possible to support the LGBT+ community without being LGBT+, and your family knows that. Continually making use of these statements makes you sound like you're trying to convince someone.

Find places where you can drop your facade. For example, you might have a friend or sibling you can talk about your real crush with. Maybe you can ease up on the gender roles when you're at a trusted friend's house. Find places where you can safely be yourself.