Discover if a Guy with a Girlfriend Likes You: 13 Telling Signs

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey and Christopher M. Osborne, PhD

Last Updated: October 25, 2022 References

If you’re checking out this article, you probably have two questions. Does this guy really like me? And, if so, is he more into me than he is his girlfriend? To help out, this article lists some clear signs of attraction to look for. It also points out some signs that the guy’s current relationship is on shaky ground. So, read on to get a better idea of the situation you’re dealing with—but what you choose to do in the situation is up to you!

Things You Should Know

He may be into you if he texts you often and showers you with attention on social media.
He may like you if he dresses up to hang out with you or openly flirts with you.
If he asks for your advice or confides in you rather than his girlfriend, he might like you.

1

He texts often and showers you with social media attention.

Increased digital contact is a revealing sign of shifting interest. In other words, if he’s texting you more often or interacting with you more frequently on social media than before, he’s also thinking about you more often. Along with more frequent interaction, look for signs that he’s trying to be extra impressive—for instance, does he text you lots of little jokes or compliment the photos you post?^{[1]
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- If you find out that he’s making less digital contact with his girlfriend at the same time, that makes it even more likely that his affections have shifted to you!

2

He makes lots of eye contact with you.

Check for frequent little looks, not staring, and dilated pupils. Whether he has a girlfriend or not, a guy who straight-up stares at you might end up being more of a creep than a catch. However, it’s a solid bet that he likes you if he makes lots of quick glances in hopes of briefly locking eyes with you. Playful eye contact is pretty much always a sign of affection!^{[2]
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Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Expert Interview. 4 December 2019.}
- If you do catch a look into his eyes, see if his pupils seem to be bigger than normal. Pupil dilation is a common sign of physical attraction.

3

He gets close enough to touch you.

Does he remove barriers so he can literally get close to you? If this guy’s attracted to you, he’ll want to get rid of any type of physical barrier between you. This includes things like a mug or glass at the table you're sitting at, a bag slung over his shoulder, or even his crossed arms in front of him. From there, watch for him to move in closer and find ways to make innocent physical contact with you.^{[3]
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Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Expert Interview. 4 December 2019.}
- He might inch closer towards you, bit by bit, as you’re standing in a group. Or, if you sit next to him at the lunch table, you might notice that his chair ends up a little closer to yours than to the person sitting on the other side of him.
- Once he gets closer, he’ll look for reasons to make even the slightest little physical contact with you. He might tap you on the shoulder to get your attention, for example, instead of just calling out your name. Or, he might brush his arm up against yours when moving past you to get to his seat.

4

He talks more and gets flirtatious.

He’ll want to impress you and drop hints that he’s interested. Guys usually try harder at being good communicators when they really like someone. Why? They want to show off their personality and drop hints of their attraction—so watch for signs of flirting! In fact, keep an eye out for any of the following:^{[4]
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- He talks about things that make him look good, like sports successes or academic achievements.
- He brings up topics that he knows (or at least thinks) you’ll find interesting.
- He flirts with you, probably either by lightly teasing you (“Good job, fumbles! Oh, I guess I’ll help you pick those things up”) or subtly complimenting you (“Did you do your hair differently today? It’s nice”).
- He asks meaningful questions to get to know you better.^{[5]
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  Joshua Pompey
  Relationship Expert
  Expert Interview. 4 December 2019.}

5

He remembers details you’ve shared with him.

This is a sure sign that he’s paying attention and wants you to know it. The smaller the detail he remembers, the bigger the indicator it is that he likes you! You might experience examples similar to these:^{[6]
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- You mention offhand once to a group (including him) that red is your favorite color. A week later, when he’s handing out notebooks for a group assignment in school, he hands you the red notebook and adds, “since it’s your favorite color.”
- You happened to say in passing 3 months ago that your birthday was on the first day of summer. Even though you’re keeping things low-key and aren’t having any kind of birthday party, he remembers to send you a quick “happy birthday” text on the right day.

6

He craves your feedback and approval.

Does he seem extra happy when you laugh at his jokes or just smile at him? If he’s interested in you, he’ll always be looking for signs that you might be interested in him, too. Little signs of approval like smiling or laughing, or bigger signs like getting engaged in a conversation topic that he raised, will provide an obvious boost to his ego—and his hopes!^{[7]
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- This works in the other direction as well. Does he seem extra bummed out when you don’t laugh at one of his jokes?

7

He tries to look good when you’re around.

Does he dress to impress more when he knows you’ll see it? Guys don’t usually step up their grooming, dressing, and styling game for no reason. If it’s clear that he has upped his game, most especially when he expects to be around you, take it as a strong sign that he’s interested.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Expert Interview. 4 December 2019.}
- He’ll probably also try to impress with his body language by standing taller, holding his shoulders back, and sucking in his gut a bit more.

8

He reacts better to you than to his girlfriend.

Does he “light up” around you and seem “ho-hum” about her? Yes, it’s possible that this guy really likes you and really likes his girlfriend at the same time. But there’s a good chance that, if he’s really into you, he won’t be so into his girlfriend anymore. Watch closely for signs that he likes you. At the same time, look for signs of indifference with his girlfriend.^{[9]
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- He might, for example, give a hearty laugh when you tell a joke but barely smirk when his girlfriend tells one. Or, he might keep his arms crossed when talking to his girlfriend but uncross them when facing you.
- Guys—and all people in general—usually aren’t as good at hiding their emotions as they think they are. If he just seems more excited about you than about her, then it’s probably true!

9

Their relationship seems dull and lifeless.

If he’s focused on you, he’s probably not putting much into his relationship. Ask yourself this: does this guy seem like he’s just “going through the motions” with his girlfriend? Do they have dull conversations (or barely talk at all)? Do they avoid physical contact or hug and kiss awkwardly? Do you get the feeling that he’d prefer to get out of the relationship?^{[10]
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- It’s also possible that he’ll try really hard to make it seem like their relationship still has a spark even if he’s no longer really feeling it. He could be just doing a poor job of trying to mask his true feelings for you. If his signs of affection towards her look fake, they probably are.

10

They bicker and disagree all the time.

Does he get easily frustrated or annoyed with her? If the guy is attracted to you, he’s probably blinded to the little things about you that might typically bother him. Likewise, if he’s now less attracted to his girlfriend, all the little things about her that he was blinded to before are probably now clearly obvious to him.^{[11]
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- Some guys are just disagreeable in general and get annoyed easily with everyone. Here again, compare how he acts with you versus how he acts towards her in similar situations.

11

He spends less time with her.

Is he decreasing 1-on-1 time with her but increasing group time with you? If a guy doesn’t show any enthusiasm about spending time with his girlfriend, or even makes excuses not to spend time with her, it’s pretty clear that things won’t last. If he’s also going out of his way to find opportunities to hang out with you, then he’s almost certainly more into you than her.^{[12]
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- For example, say you’re hanging out in a group and the girlfriend asks him if he’s going to take her to the movies tonight. Take it as a major sign if he turns towards you and says something like, “Hey, let’s make it a group thing—you guys want to come along?”

12

His girlfriend suddenly seems suspicious of him.

She’ll probably sense that his affections have shifted to someone else. True, some girlfriends are suspicious all the time, including times when they have no reason to be. But if she suddenly seems more suspicious of her boyfriend, add that to the other signs you’re picking up on that the guy’s interest has shifted in your direction.^{[13]
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- If you’re friends with the girlfriend, she might confide in you about her suspicions. You may then be put in the awkward situation of confiding your own suspicions to her—that is, if you’re more interested in maintaining your friendship with her than you are in pursuing her current boyfriend!

13

He confides in you instead of her.

If he’s telling you stuff he isn’t telling her, he clearly prefers you to her. Short of him telling you directly that he likes you and wants to break up with her, this might be the most obvious sign you can get. It gets even more obvious if he chooses to confide in you about the status of his relationship with her. Confiding in you means that he trusts you, and trust and affection often go hand-in-hand.^{[14]
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- This might be harder to spot if you two were already close friends and are used to confiding in each other. If so, look for signs that he’s confiding in you more than before, and at the same time confiding in her less than before.

Community Q&A

Question

My crush has a girlfriend but doesn't interact with her. He doesn't even fight with her. What should I do?

Elizabeth Keim

Community Answer

Talk to him. If you and your crush are good friends, ask him how his relationship is, and/or if he wants to talk about it. This also may help you get closer to him as a friend. One warning though; If he gets angry or upset at the fact you asked him about his relationship, you may want to give him some space.
Question

What if he’s showing all these signs but he also really loves his girlfriend?

Elizabeth Keim

Community Answer

Try to confront him about it gently. Since he is showing all of these signs to you and his girlfriend, he may be trying to figure out somethings about himself as well. Ask him about that. Take into consideration he may just be trying to be a good friend.