How to Surprise Your Girlfriend on Her Birthday

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Last Updated: October 2, 2022 References

Birthday celebrations are important occasions in most relationships, as they allow you to celebrate your partner and show how much you care about her. If your girlfriend likes them, surprises are a great way to do this. Planning a spontaneous activity for your girlfriend and giving her a gift are some of the best ways to surprise your girlfriend on her birthday, even if you’re in a long-distance relationship!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Planning a Surprise Activity or Party

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Take her on a memorable trip to give her a fun birthday experience.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.} If there’s somewhere your girlfriend has always talked about visiting, plan out a mini-vacation for the 2 of you to take there on her birthday. You can also simply take her somewhere you know she likes, like the beach, or somewhere she’s never been before, like up in a hot air balloon.^{[2]
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- Make sure you pick out locations that your girlfriend wants to visit and not just that you want to visit. For example, if you really want to go to a ski resort, don’t surprise your girlfriend with a trip to the Alps unless you think she’d also enjoy going skiing on her birthday.
- If luxury trips aren’t within your budget, consider driving somewhere nearby, such as the closest major city, for a day trip instead.
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Surprise your girlfriend with tickets to a sporting event if she likes sports. Even if you’re not a fan of her favorite team, or you don’t like professional sports, going to a professional game would be an amazing experience for her, especially if she’s never gone to one before.^{[3]
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- Make sure both of your schedules will accommodate an outing to a professional sports game before you buy expensive tickets or begin to make preparations.
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Cook her favorite dish or arrange a picnic to enjoy a meal together. Be sure to prepare and pack all the food yourself if you take her on a picnic, so your girlfriend gets the benefit of having a meal prepared for her. Whether it’s for breakfast, lunch, or dinner, preparing a meal for your girlfriend is a very romantic birthday surprise, especially if whatever you make is her favorite dish.^{[4]
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- If you don’t have a lot of experience in the kitchen, don’t try to make anything too difficult for you to handle. The simple act of being catered to will be enough for her!
- For example, if you’re an amateur when it comes to cooking, make something simple like alfredo pasta and peas.
- You could also take your girlfriend out to dinner at her favorite restaurant or at a restaurant she’s always wanted to try. It won’t be quite the same as cooking the meal yourself, but she’ll definitely still appreciate it.
- If you cook her favorite food for dinner, set the table with nice tableware as well to make the meal that much more elegant.
- Some examples of romantic foods to pack for your picnic might include a baguette, some fancy meats and cheeses, and red wine.
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Take your girlfriend to the spa if she likes to be pampered. Even if she’s never been to the spa before, your girlfriend will probably appreciate a massage, a steam bath, and some aromatherapy. Book a couple’s session so you can be involved in celebrating her on her birthday.^{[5]
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- If your girlfriend really enjoys the spa, consider buying some lotions and aromatherapy products on your way out of the spa to give her as a birthday gift.
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Buy your girlfriend tickets to a play if she enjoys the arts. This is an especially good gift if you’re able to get tickets to a popular show that is usually sold out or expensive to get tickets to. Buy the tickets several months in advance to make sure you’re able to get seats for a showing on her birthday.^{[6]
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- Use a discount site like Playbill.com to find cheap play tickets way in advance.
- Alternatively, if your girlfriend is more into music than acting, nab 2 tickets for you and her to go to a concert on her birthday. This is an especially good gift if you can get tickets to see a band or artist that she really loves.
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Clean your home while she’s out if you live together. This is an especially good idea for a birthday surprise if your girlfriend has ever complained about how messy or unorganized you are. Organize and tidy up your shared living space while she’s at work or out doing chores, so that she’ll return to a surprisingly clean home when she gets back.^{[7]
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- For added effect, consider using indoor air fresheners or scented candles to make your home smell nice before she gets back.
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Invite her friends over for a surprise party to get them involved. If you think your girlfriend would really enjoy spending her birthday with her friends and colleagues as well as with you, then this is a great way to surprise her on her birthday. When you contact her friends to set up the party, make sure none of them blab to her about it so the surprise isn’t ruined!^{[8]
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- If they live nearby and your girlfriend is close to them, invite members of her family to the party as well. This is a great chance for her to spend more time with them, especially if she usually doesn’t get to.
- If her friends and/or colleagues aren’t able to participate in a party, the next best thing is to have them all wish her a happy birthday individually when they see her at work or school.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Giving Your Girlfriend a Surprise Gift

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Give her a handmade gift to show how much thought you put into it. Gifts mean a lot more to people when they realize that you put a lot of time and creative effort into them. Try to make a gift that involves skills your girlfriend doesn’t know you have to make it even more of a surprise!^{[9]
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- For example, if you’re pretty good at carpentry but haven’t told your girlfriend about your skills, consider making her something like a picture frame or a small table. Just make sure it’s something she’ll actually enjoy first!
- If your girlfriend likes handmade jewelry or accessories, try your hand at making her a pearl necklace or a wooden ring holder.
- If you’re not that crafty, you can also order your girlfriend a customized gift, such as an engraved picture frame holding a photo of the 2 of you together. She’ll still think it’s a thoughtful gift, even if you didn’t make it yourself.
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Make her a birthday card if you want to include a sentimental message. Even if you don’t have that many creative skills, you can make a simple, handmade birthday card out of construction paper, glue, and glitter. Most importantly, write a heartfelt message inside the card that expresses how much you love and care about your girlfriend and what she means to you.^{[10]
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- If you don’t feel like you have the creative ability to make a birthday card by hand, you can also go out and buy one, as long as you remember to include a heartfelt message inside.
- Don’t feel like you have to fill the entire card with your message. A few short but loving messages will be better than writing a huge wall of text that doesn’t have as much meaning to it. If you’re poetic at all, consider writing her a romantic poem in the card.
- You can also write her a love letter describing your feelings.^{[11]
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  Expert Source
  
  Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
  Licensed Relationship Therapist
  Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.}
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Leave small gifts for her to find throughout the day to make her feel special. This is a great way of spreading out the surprise for her whole birthday rather than giving her one big surprise. Try leaving little love notes around your home in places you know she’ll see them, or put tiny gifts in different spots she’ll be in during her birthday.^{[12]
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- For example, if you’re taking her out for her birthday, you can surprise her with a gift in the car, then another at wherever you’re taking her, and then another one when you get back home.
- If your girlfriend has to work for part of her birthday, consider leaving a small gift where she works if you can. You can also send flowers or gifts to her work place, if that’s appropriate at all.
- Your small gifts can be things like a box of chocolates, a new piece of jewelry, or a bottle of perfume.
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Avoid giving her a gift that doesn’t have any meaning for her.^{[13]
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Expert Source

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Expert Interview. 11 August 2021.} While you want to surprise your girlfriend with whatever gift you get her for her birthday, it shouldn’t be something that she would also never imagine using or enjoying. Get her a gift that you know she’ll enjoy and that will make her think of you.^{[14]
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- For example, if your girlfriend has never listened to death metal, you might really surprise her by giving her a death metal CD for her birthday. However, if she doesn’t like death metal, she probably won’t enjoy the gift all that much.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Surprising Your Long-Distance Girlfriend

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Visit her for her birthday to make your presence the gift. This method allows you to use yourself as the surprise gift! Book a planet ticket or plan your drive so that you arrive in her area at the beginning of the day, in order to be able to spend the rest of the day with her celebrating her birthday.
- Alternatively, you can also send her a ticket to come visit you for her birthday, although it will be more of a surprise if you can visit her instead.^{[15]
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- If you want to make sure your arrival is a surprise, consider throwing her off your trail by letting her think that you’ll be sending her a gift in the mail instead.
- Make sure you make arrangements for yourself in case she can’t accommodate you or can’t spend parts of the day with you. Have a place to stay lined up and know in advance what you’ll do with any free time you may have while you’re there.
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Mail a gift that will arrive on her birthday if you can’t be there. Private mail carrying companies are a tad more expensive to ship through than the post office, but many of them offer date-certain delivery. Use one of these companies to ship your gift and specify that you want it to arrive on your girlfriend’s birthday.^{[16]
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- If you’re not able to use date-certain delivery, you can also mail your girlfriend’s gift the day before her birthday using overnight delivery.
- Gifts to consider sending her may include flowers, balloons, or chocolates. Refrain from sending her something too expensive in the mail, since there’s always the risk of it being lost in transit.
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Organize a birthday party through her local friends to get them involved. This will take some advanced planning on your part, but if you’re able to contact them, having your girlfriend’s local friends throw a party for her is a great way to surprise her when you’re not there. If you’re able to, Skype into the party so that she’s able to see you and talk to you as well!
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Call your girlfriend right at midnight if you can’t do anything else for her. This is the easiest birthday surprise you can do for your girlfriend, as long as you’re able to stay awake until midnight. Don’t just send her a text message; calling or Skyping her will be much more personable and special for her.^{[17]
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- Be aware of time zone differences if you plan to do this. If your girlfriend lives in a different time zone, midnight for you won’t be the same as midnight for her.
- If your girlfriend won’t be awake at midnight and doesn’t like being woken up in the middle of the night, you may want to wait to call her first thing in the morning.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I surprise my girlfriend on her birthday without money?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

Move a mattress into your living room and spend the day watching movies with her. You could also "camp out" in your backyard.
Question

What should I buy my girlfriend for her birthday?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

You don't necessarily have to buy her something! Doing something thoughtful and intentional for her can be even better than buying her a present.
Question

What type of gift should I give to my girlfriend?

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT

Licensed Relationship Therapist

Expert Answer

Give her an experience as a gift, like a surprise vacation or a trip to an Airbnb.

Warnings

Although surprise birthday celebrations seem very common, some women don’t actually enjoy romantic surprises all that much. Make sure your girlfriend likes surprises before you go about surprising her for her birthday.

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Make sure you take your girlfriend’s personality type (i.e., whether she’s introverted or extroverted) into consideration as well. For example, she may hate the idea of a big surprise party, but would still love an intimate surprise picnic for her birthday.

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