How to Plan a Surprise Birthday Party

Co-authored by Stefanie Chu-Leong and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: March 16, 2023 References Approved

Throwing a surprise party seems simple, but great surprise parties need a little planning. Organize a few basic details about the kind of birthday party you want to throw and consider what the guest of honor would enjoy. Once you've made the party details, keep the party a secret while giving the guests enough information. To get the honoree to the party, offer the chaperone a few ideas on how to get them to the surprise without letting the secret slip.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Organizing the Basics

1
Select a party theme. Consider what the guest of honor likes and use that as basis for a party theme. If you're throwing a party for a kid, the theme might be their favorite toy, TV show, movie or story. For an older guest of honor, choose a theme based on the person's hobbies or interest. For example, if you are planning to surprise your girlfriend, throw a party based on her favorite movie. You could instruct the guests to dress as characters from the film.^{[1]
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- Keep in mind that you'll also need to plan food, decorations, and activities around the theme. So if you're throwing a luau-themed party, try to throw the party at the beach or set up tropical decorations. Serve tiki drinks and set out leis for the guests.
2
Choose the party location. You can host the party almost anywhere. The location should be large enough to accommodate all of the guests. So if you want a big surprise party, you might want to rent a community hall. But if you're throwing a surprise party with a dozen people, you could easily have it at a nice restaurant.^{[2]
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- For example, you can have the party at the honoree's house, at your place, at a restaurant, at a park, or anywhere you think your guest of honor wouldn't expect.
- If you'll be renting a space, learn about what sound systems are available and ask about their policies on food and decor.
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3
Pick a date and time for the party. While you can throw the surprise party on the honoree's birthday, you might surprise them even more if you throw it a day or two in advance. You'll need to choose a time and date that works for most of the guests and you'll need to ensure that the honoree is also available.^{[3]
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- Consider asking the honoree if they want to get together to hang out at the time you're thinking of planning the party. If they tell you they have other plans, you'll need to reschedule the party.
- Avoid throwing the surprise party after the person's actual birthday or they might think you forgot their big day.
4
Decide what refreshments to serve. People expect food and drinks at a party. If you're doing a surprise party for kids, you can serve standard birthday party treats (such as punch, cookies, and cupcakes). For an adult birthday party, serve foods that are easy to prepare and eat. If you don't want to spend time on the food, consider having food catered or have the party at a restaurant.^{[4]
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- Match the foods to the time of the party. For example, if you're having the surprise birthday party right after work on a weekday, most guests will expect a meal. But if the party is in the afternoon on a weekend, you could serve drinks and appetizers.
5
Make a guest list. Decide how many people you want to have at the party and think about the honoree's personality. If they're not very outgoing, they might love a small surprise party with their closest friends and family. If they love crowds and conversation, you could have a larger group of people.^{[5]
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- You might want to ask another person to help you plan and pull off the surprise, especially if they're really excited by the idea of the party.
6
Invite the guests. Once you've come up with a guest list, set up an event page on social media to invite the guests or call and invite them to the party. Avoid mailing paper invitations so the honoree doesn't find an invitation and learn of the surprise. Make it very clear to guests that the party will be a surprise.^{[6]
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- Decide if you want to ask guests to bring gifts or help with food and drinks.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Keeping the Party a Surprise

1
Decorate for the party at the honoree's place. If you are having the party at the honoree's place, you'll need to wait until they're not at home and decorate quickly. Choose decorations that are simple to put up. Ensure that the honoree won't be able to see the decorations before they walk in to the main party room. Keep decorations away from windows that the honoree could look into as they walk in.^{[7]
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- If you won't have much time to decorate, stick to decorating the main party room first and then you can decorate other rooms as you have time.
2
Decorate for a party at another space. If you're not hosting the party at the honoree's house, you can easily set up decorations in advance. You can decorate with the theme of the party, your honoree's favorite colors, or standard birthday decorations like balloons and streamers. Remember that the entrance to the party room should not give away the surprise, so avoid putting up banners or balloons in the entryway.
- Ask a few of the guests to help you set up decorations before the other guests arrive.
3
Give the guests party details. Once guests have RSVP'd, call them or leave more detailed information on a social media page that the honoree can't see. To keep the party a secret, tell the guests where they can park, where to put gifts or food when they arrive, any costume or dress-code requirements, and an exact time to show up (usually about 30 minutes before the big surprise).^{[8]
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- Avoid giving out party details to too many people or to those who aren't coming to the party. This increases the risk that the honoree will find out about the surprise.
4
Choose a chaperone for the honoree. Find a chaperone who will escort the honoree while you plan and set up the party. Pick a chaperone that the honoree feels comfortable with (such as a spouse or best friend). The chaperone can distract and redirect the honoree until it's time for the surprise party.
- Tell the chaperone that you may contact them if you need them to stall for more time or get the honoree to the party right away.
5
Plan a fake event to throw off the guest of honor. The easiest way to distract the honoree is to plan a different event that they know about. For example, have the chaperone invite the honoree out to dinner or an activity. Your honoree won't be as suspicious if they're already planning on doing something fun.^{[9]
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- If you're planning the surprise party at home, have the chaperone take the honoree shopping, to a movie, or on a hike. They should do something fun so the honoree doesn't want to go home early.
- Ensure that the honoree will be dressed appropriately for the surprise party. For example, if the party will be fancy dress, the honoree should be dressed for a similar activity so they're in fancy dress too.
6
Go through a to-do checklist before the party starts. To keep track of all the party details, make a checklist. List the things you need to set up, when you should prepare the food, where you'll set up the sound systems, etc. You can use your checklist to delegate things to guests.^{[10]
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- For example, ask one person to be in charge of turning on the lights and music when the honoree enters. You can also ask guests to be lookouts for when the honoree shows.
7
Tell guests what you want them to do when it's time for the surprise. Direct the guests about what they should do so no one accidentally gives away the big surprise. You may want them to have them all jump out yelling, "Surprise!" or "Happy Birthday!" Make sure everyone is comfortable and agrees with the plan. ^{[11]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Getting the Guest of Honor to the Party

1
Ask the honoree to help plan a surprise party for someone else. If you really want to distract the honoree, ask them to get together with you to plan someone else's surprise party. This works great if you don't have a lot of time to distract the person from the party. You could invite the honoree to the venue and have them meet you in a room that isn't decorated. When you're ready to surprise them, lead them into the party room.
- For example, if the party is at your house, decorate the main rooms and ask the honoree to meet you near the back of your house. When you're ready, you can lead them into the party room.
2
Make up an excuse if the honoree comes. If you're the chaperone and you're out having fun with the honoree, you'll need to get them to the surprise birthday party at some point. You can tell them that you accidentally "forgot" something important at the house and need to go back to get it.
- This tactic will only work if the party is at your house or the honoree's house.
3
Ask the honoree to go with you on an errand. If the party is at a venue (such as a restaurant or park), meet up with the honoree. After spending a little time with the honoree, ask them if they wouldn't mind running a short errand somewhere. Take the honoree to the surprise party venue.
- For example, you could be out for coffee together. After a little while, say, "A few days ago I left my jacket at the restaurant down the street. Do you mind if we swing by and I can grab it?"
4
Give a heads up. If you're the chaperone, text the host of the party 10 minutes before you bring the honoree to the party. If you don't think you can do this secretly, tell the host to have a guest posted near the entrance so they can alert the other guests that the honoree is arriving.^{[12]
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- Advance notice is especially important if you'll be dropping balloons, throwing confetti, or exploding glitter. You don't want to waste the surprise on just another guest instead of the honoree.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you keep a surprise party secret?

Stefanie Chu-Leong
Owner & Senior Event Planner, Stellify Events
Stefanie Chu-Leong is the Owner and Senior Event Planner for Stellify Events, an event management business based in the San Francisco Bay Area and California Central Valley. Stefanie has over 15 years of event planning experience and specializes in large-scale events and special occasions. She has a BA in Marketing from San Francisco State University.

Stefanie Chu-Leong

Owner & Senior Event Planner, Stellify Events

Expert Answer

Keep the party plans off social media and out of text messages. You never know when the VIP guest will see a message on someone else's phone about the surprise party. To avoid spoiling anything, keep the details off your phone and other devices.
Question

My mom's birthday is in a few days, should I invite her friends without asking?

Community Answer

This is most likely a good idea, but if you don't know her friends well, you may need some help. Maybe ask her best friend which people she thinks it would be best to invite. This way you don't accidentally end up inviting people your mom isn't really close with.
Question

What should be on my party shopping list?

Community Answer

The list could include: Balloons, snacks, cake, decorations (streamers), a present for the person, and drinks. The breakdown of specifics will depend on your party theme, preferences and exact items to be used and made.