This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta. Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.
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A man or woman comes up to you and says,"will you go out with me?" Here is what to do if you don't want to date him or her.
Steps
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1Before you even say a word, think long and hard about why you don't want to date him/her. Be sure about your decision.[1]
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2If you STILL want to say no, thank this person (if you hung out together) for all the good times you had.[2]Advertisement
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3Be clear about your decision, but do not be bluntly honest about the reason. "I'm sorry, but I don't think we're compatible," or "I don't feel there is potential for a relationship here," are answers that are far preferable to "I don't find you attractive," or "I feel that you are boring," which will unnecessarily hurt his/her feelings.[3]
- You can tell them that while you think they are an awesome person, you do not feel like the two of you would be a good romantic fit.[4]
- Try to keep your reasoning about you rather than them.[5]
- Use I statements to preserve their feelings. For example, you can say, "I think we are better as friends."
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4Do not say "I'm not ready for a relationship," or even "I already have a boyfriend/girlfriend". This may lead the person to believe that you would date them, so unfortunately they may pursue you even more.[6]
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5You are not obligated to discuss or provide a lengthier explanation of why you do not want to date someone. If the person persists, be very clear that this is your decision, that you are moving on and that they should move on as well.
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6If you already had a friendship, you may ask if you can still be friends. Beware though, that if you maintain the "friend" thing, he/she might not give up so easily.[7]
Warnings
- If they try to kiss you, or anything of the sort, you are well within your rights to say no. Because that's not ok, not at all. Don't just go along with it, because you feel like you owe them at least that. Because you don't owe anybody anything, and they don't have the right to make you feel in debt to them for some reason. So just remember you can say no.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Do not be impolite, that is the purpose of this article!⧼thumbs_response⧽
- If you are impolite, he will tell people and your reputation will be ruined. Also people won't want to go out with you.⧼thumbs_response⧽
Things You'll Need
- You need manners and a polite mind.
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201605/6-ways-turn-someone-down-politely
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201605/6-ways-turn-someone-down-politely
- ↑ https://lifehacker.com/how-to-turn-down-a-date-gracefully-1708236305
- ↑ https://upjourney.com/how-to-politely-decline-a-date
- ↑ https://upjourney.com/how-to-politely-decline-a-date
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/guy-approved-ways-to-turn-down
- ↑ https://www.hercampus.com/sex-relationships/dating/how-turn-guy-down-without-being-b
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