How to Not Be Boring With Your Boyfriend

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: May 6, 2021 References Approved

From time to time, you may need to spice up your relationship to keep things exciting, passionate, and interesting! You can do this by going on exciting dates, having interesting conversations, and rekindling your attraction. Think about what your boyfriend loves, and don't be afraid to be yourself!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Incorporating Adventure in Your Relationship

1
Try adrenaline-fueled activities to get out of your comfort zone together. Adrenaline is a chemical that helps us fall in love, so boosting adrenaline can boost your love and excitement. Do activities together that will get your heart racing and your blood pumping!^{[1]
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- Try activities like skydiving, ziplining, and bungee jumping. If you're on a budget, try indoor rock climbing and paintball for inexpensive date ideas, or consider going hiking for free.
2
Set a goal to try at least 1 new and exciting thing together a month. Sometimes boredom strikes when things cycle in the same routine, so add some excitement to spice things up! You should both commit to seeking new activities, like trying a new recipe or restaurant for date night.
- Try a cuisine neither of you are experienced with. You can find an interesting recipe online or in a cookbook, or make reservations at a new restaurant.
- Other ideas include exploring a nearby city, visiting a museum or art gallery, and attending a sports game together. You can also try going hiking, canoeing, miniature golfing, bowling, or roller skating.
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3
Plan a surprise weekend getaway, if you can. Don't tell your boyfriend where you are going, and just tell him you have a weekend planned for him. Try a staycation for a cheaper budget, or a road trip if you want to see new places! Go camping in state or national parks, or book a hotel room--bonus if it has a hot tub! Getting away from your usual routine will freshen up anything dull.^{[2]
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- Choose somewhere exciting to both of you but where neither of you have traveled before.
- If you aren’t able to spend the whole weekend together, try to just take a day trip adventure!

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Connecting Through Conversation

1
Chat about the beginning of your relationship. Bring up your first date, how you met, and the things you first loved about each other. Simple reminders will trigger your memories. Revisit some of the things attracted you to your boyfriend in the first place, and use these elements to spice up your relationship now.^{[3]
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- For example, maybe you used to always watch the sunset on summer evenings or used to go get ice cream after your soccer game was over. Try to make doing fun and familiar activities a habit again.
2
Ask each other questions to deepen your connection. Having an open and honest chat will let you learn more about each other and connect deeper. Let your questions lead into interesting and engaging conversations with your boyfriend.^{[4]
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- Try to listen more than you speak. Listening is an important skill and it can help you relate to your boyfriend on a deeper level.^{[5]
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  Laura Bilotta
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.}
- You can find question ideas online, such as The 36 Questions That Lead to Love, or ask him anything that you’d like to know.
- Ask questions like, “What is your most treasured memory?” and “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”
3
Hold an exciting conversation about mutually interesting topics. Start off a conversation by telling your boyfriend what’s on your mind or mention something interesting you’ve learned recently. Add interesting details to the conversation. Ask questions to keep the conversation going, and always listen closely to what he has to say.
- Talk about interesting topics, like the news, politics, or recent discoveries. Or, sprinkle in things that interest you, like music, movies, or sports.
- Say something like, "Wow, I never knew you and your dad were so close. My dad used to always take me to baseball games, too."
4
Read the same book and discuss opinions of the plot and characters. Select a book on a topic you both enjoy, and read it together. After you’ve finished the book, chat about your thoughts. Ask your boyfriend what his favorite part was, and talk about your favorite or least favorite characters. Using the book to start conversation is an easy way to connect with your boyfriend.
- You can go with a book you’re reading for a class in school, one of your childhood favorites, or a new book that just hit the shelves.
- Try a magazine or short story if you don’t want to read a long book.
5
Pick a new TV show to binge-watch together and talk about the show. These days there are countless interesting shows to stream, so find one you both like and watch a few episodes back-to-back. Then, discuss the show afterwards!
- Try shows in genres you both like, or try a new genre together.
- If you don't have a membership to a streaming service, sign up for a free trial for Hulu or Netflix.
- You can also find a show running back-to-back on cable.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Rekindling Your Passion

1
Laugh together as often as you can to keep things fun and positive. Find any opportunity to make your boyfriend laugh. Tell your boyfriend a funny joke or a silly story. Watch a funny TV show, a comedy skit, or a humorous movie. Laughter triggers endorphins, and endorphins make you feel good and promote well-being.^{[6]
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2
Compliment your boyfriend to show him you care. Whether you’ve been together for 2 weeks or 2 years, compliment your boyfriend often so he knows you appreciate him.
- Instead of generic on-the-surface compliments like "You're so handsome," try something unique like: ^{[7]
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  Laura Bilotta
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.}
- “You’re so smart. I love how you analyze issues so deeply.”
- "I have so much fun around you."
- "You have such a cool style."
- "You make me a better person."
3
Send flirtatious, naughty text messages. Comment on how great your time together was, or mention how excited you are to see your boyfriend. Give previews of your plans together, like hinting that you bought a new outfit. You could also send racy pictures to your boyfriend to get him even more excited!
4
Hold hands more often. Whether you are running errands or walking around your neighborhood, hold hands when you can. Physical contact releases a hormone called oxytocin, which increases intimacy and enhances trust.^{[8]
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5
Touch your boyfriend affectionately. Give your boyfriend a back massage or shoulder rub. You can place your hand on his shoulder, or maybe put your feet over his when you watch TV. Touching each other will increase passion while expressing your love.^{[9]
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6
Kiss your boyfriend passionately. A kiss can say a thousand words, so show him how much you care by giving him frequent, passionate kisses. You can pair these juicy smooches with softer kisses as well. Kissing also boosts oxytocin, so the more you kiss, the more connected you'll feel!^{[10]
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7
Set a romantic mood in your bedroom. Light some candles, use silky sheets, and set out some new massage oil. Play romantic music or try some new lingerie. All these elements will set the tone for romance and add some interest to your sex life.^{[11]
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- Always make sure both parties give consent before you try anything new intimately. You want to respect each other’s boundaries while still exploring each other deeper.

Sparking Good Conversations with Your Boyfriend

Conversation with Boyfriend about Mutual Interests

Exciting Texts to Send Your Boyfriend

Interesting Topic List

Expert Q&A
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Question

What are some ways I can have more fun in my relationship?

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.

Laura Bilotta

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Try to do small things for each other whenever you can. You can also ask each other thought-provoking questions to start more interesting conversations.
Question

Can I get him a gift, like a watch?

Karley Snyder

Community Answer

Surely! Getting your boyfriend a gift is a nice way to show him you care. Watches make great presents. Pick one out that you think he will really love! Also try giving it to him when you plan a weekend getaway or a date at a new restaurant, for other ideas to make your relationship more exciting.
Question

What should I do if my boyfriend is upset with me?

Karley Snyder

Community Answer

First, you should identify why he is upset with you. If you did something to upset him, apologize for it and agree to let the problem go. You don't want a grudge to form. Talk about the situation openly and honestly, and don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. He should understand you and work to resolve the problem with you.