How to Make Someone Kiss You First (for Girls)

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: July 14, 2020 References

The days of the man always making the first move are long gone. Still, many women—and the men who kiss them—prefer the man to take the lead. If you’re getting antsy waiting for your guy to kiss you, learn how to set the scene for the perfect first kiss.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Setting the Scene

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Practice good hygiene. Generally, people like to kiss people who are groomed and have clean teeth.^{[1]
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Research source} You want to look presentable!
- If you are a crunchier person, don’t worry about the grooming as much. There is a nobility in cutting down on water usage and hygiene product production that some will find more attractive than clean hair.
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Try a new activity together. Experiencing something new activates adrenaline and heightens awareness, which together make meaningful memories and can help you create a stronger bond with your special someone.^{[2]
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- Try going bouldering, a form of rock climbing that doesn’t require a harness. Don’t worry—the walls are pretty short!
- If there’s a restaurant or bar you’ve both been wanting to try out, go together.
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3
Get them alone. While some people certainly do kiss in public places, not everyone loves PDA, especially for a first kiss. Talk about pressure!
- If you’re at a party, you could ask if your partner wants to go on a walk or to talk in a different room.
- Say something like, “It’s so noisy and crowded in here! Want to go get some fresh air?”
- It can be scary to ask someone out first, but if you’ve been crushing on this person and never gone on a date, it’s important that they know you’re interested. Ask them if they want to come over to watch a movie, just the two of you.
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Create an intimate environment. This will vary based on where you are and what your evening plans look like.
- The most important thing is to be warm and approachable. It’s easy to be standoffish if you are nervous, but no one will try to kiss you if you are. If you want him to make the move, you have to help them feel confident that you are open to it.
- Make sure to smile! Just as your other half needs to feel that you’re approachable, they also need to know that you’re enjoying yourself with them.^{[3]
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- If you invite them over to your house for dinner or a movie, make sure the space is clean and the air smells inviting. Atmosphere is everything.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Moving Physically Closer

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Break the physical barrier. If you really like someone and feel nervous when you’re with them, you might subconsciously box yourself off from them accidentally. Don’t do this! Of all flirting techniques, physical touch works best.^{[4]
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- Gently touch their arm when they say something funny. You want them to know that you are OK with physical touch.
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Snuggle in. If you are sitting down to watch a movie, make sure you sit in close proximity to them! Let them sit down first and snuggle in next to them.
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Make steady eye contact. You can hint at them by making eye contact and occasionally looking down at his lips. They should pick up on the fact that you are imagining what it would be like to kiss them.^{[5]
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- Don’t go too overboard with this. If you’re not in conversation, don’t stare them down or they will find it creepy. If you’re sitting down watching a movie you can occasionally look over at them let them catch you looking, then turn back to the movie. They'll know you’re thinking of them.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Hinting Verbally

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Flirt. Women are more successful at flirting when they are bold and direct, studies show.^{[6]
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Research source} Men tend to prefer when women are direct about their intentions.
- You can say, “I’m so glad we’re finally on a date together!” People love hearing that they’re wanted.
- Get them to ask what you’re thinking about. If you’re feeling bold, say, “Oh, I’m just wondering what it would be like to kiss you.” ^{[7]
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Play fight. If you can find a natural way to initiate it, play fighting can lead to a kiss—think of The Lion King! It’ll increase your adrenaline, it gets you close to each other, and it shows that you feel comfortable with them. Just make sure that it is playful, not violent.^{[8]
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Tell them you’re nervous. If they know that you like them enough to be nervous, it will make them feel more comfortable. No one likes to be vulnerable, and if they don’t know that you’re feeling nervous too, they might be too afraid to make their move.
- For example, you could say, “I’ve been wanting to spend time with you for a while. I didn’t think I’d be so nervous!”
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Ask them to kiss you. If all else fails, you can tell them that you want them to kiss you and see what happens. Sometimes guys fail to pick up on the hints and you need to be more direct.
- You could say, “I’d really like for you to kiss me right now.” If you want to be slightly less direct, you can say, “It would be OK if you kiss me right now, if you want to.”
- Don’t rush into this. Enjoy the beginning of the relationship, and if it’s been several weeks and you’ve dropped hint after hint, just tell them.
- They may be looking for your OK to go ahead, or they may want to kiss you in their own time.

Warnings

Don't try it if they're obviously not into you.

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Do not pressure someone to kiss you if they don’t want to. Always respect their boundaries.

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