How to Leave Romantic Notes for Your Crush

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: December 10, 2022 Approved

Leaving a note for a crush is a great way to move a potential relationship forward. It can also make your crush feel special. However, while leaving romantic notes can be exciting, it can also be stressful and a little scary. By writing good notes, leaving them in appropriate places, and seeing if the person wants a relationship, you’ll have a chance of turning your crush into a special person in your life.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Writing Your Note

1
Use their name. Use their name in the note so they can be sure that the note is for them. If you don’t include their name, they might think the note was intended for someone else. In the end, your note won’t have its intended effect.
- Start off by writing it like a letter, for instance “Dear Sally."
- Write them a message and include their name in the message.^{[1]
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2
Decide if you want to remain anonymous. One of the most important decisions you need to make is whether to sign the note with your name or remain anonymous. If you sign the note, you'll immediately change how you and your crush interact. This is a big decision, so make sure you carefully think it over.^{[2]
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- If you use your name, think about signing off with phrases like "thinking of you," "see you around," or "sincerely yours." Avoid being overly affectionate and using words like "love."
- If you want to remain anonymous, think about signing your name with a clue about who you are or with phrases like "your friend" or "someone who thinks you're great."
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3
Include a compliment. Start a note off by letting them know how much you admire them. In addition, you could comment about one of their qualities that makes you want to be around them. Be as specific as you can—think about what really makes your crush special.^{[3]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 12 March 2021.} Consider:
- Letting them know how smart you think they are.
- Telling them how you think they are handsome or beautiful.
- Stating how you think they are funny and witty.^{[4]
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Craft a poem or draw a picture. If you’re artistically inclined, you could write a short poem or draw a picture for your crush. Ultimately, a poem or a picture may send a sweet message and let them know that they are in your thoughts.^{[5]
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- Draw a picture of them.
- Write a poem about the things you like about them.
5
Be confident. Don’t tell them that you are head-over-heels for them and would do anything to be with them. Instead, let them know that you are a sure and confident person and would really like to get to know them better.
- Write something like, “Out of all of the people I know, you seem like someone I really should spend more time with.”^{[6]
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Don’t be too forward. The worst thing you can do is to leave your crush a note that gives them with the impression that you are obsessed with them or are stalking them. If you do this, you’ll likely alienate the person, insult them, or scare them.
- Avoid stating how much you love them.
- Don’t say that you think about them constantly.
- Never write inappropriate sexual things. This will likely be seen as harassment and could get you into trouble.^{[7]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Leaving Your Note

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Leave it on their desk or locker, if you're a student. Tape or simply leave the note on their desk or locker. You should be able to easily place a note on their desk when you’re coming into a classroom or leaving one. You can also slide the note into their locker as you’re walking by it.^{[8]
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- If you're not a student, you should avoid leaving romantic notes on a colleague's desk. In addition, consider avoiding flirtations during office hours -- this could be taken as sexual harassment.
2
Leave the note at a place you know they’ll wind up. If your crush looks forward to your notes, one of the best things for you to do would be to leave notes randomly in places you know they’ll be. This way, they’ll be surprised whenever they see the note.
- If you know your crush sits at a certain place at lunch, think about leaving the note there.
- Leave it on their car windshield.
3
Don’t violate their personal space. Never trespass or open your crush’s locker, car, bookbag, purse, or anything else private to leave your note. By violating your crush’s personal space, you’ll send the message that you don’t respect them or are way too aggressive. In the end, you may wind up alienating them rather than winning their affection.
- Avoid leaving a note in their mailbox, on their front door, or at their home. They may think you are stalking them.
- Don't follow your crush from work or school to give them a note.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Establishing a Relationship

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Let them know who you are, if they don't already. Ultimately, while you may leave some “secret admirer” notes, you don’t want to go too long leaving notes without letting them know who you are. Whether it be in your first note, second note, or a few notes later, you need to give them an idea of who you are. You can do this several ways:
- Simply write your name at the bottom of the note.
- Give them some sort of clue about who you are.
- Approach and tell them you’re their special note writer.^{[9]
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Pass them a note. The best way to take your relationship to the next level is to start to hand them notes directly. This is especially true if you know they're receptive to your flirtations. In the end, they might hand you a note back.
3
Ask them if they want to do something. After you've left a few notes, you should ask them if they’d like to do something with you. Ultimately, going on a date – or just hanging out – is the next logical step in your evolving relationship. Suggest:
- Going to the movies.
- Taking a walk after school.
- Getting a bite to eat together.
4
Stop leaving notes if you think the person doesn’t like you. If you get the sense that the person doesn’t enjoy your notes, you should stop immediately. You might be able to sense this from how they look when they get a note, from the comments they make about it to other people, or you can ask a friend to inquire about it. Ultimately, if they aren’t interested in the notes, you should stop immediately.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you compliment your crush?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Mention some little thing that you noticed about them, like "Your smile really lights up a room" or "You have such a cool style."
Question

Are you sure this will work?

Community Answer

It depends on the person, you, and how you leave the notes. Nothing is for sure. However, if you don't try, you'll never know. If you're afraid it won't work, maybe you should just ask the person out directly.
Question

Hey I want a boyfriend, but I'm only 12 is this ok?

Community Answer

It is up to you and your parents. Talk to your parents. Also, don't just find a boyfriend to have a boyfriend -- make sure you really like him.