How to Initiate Physical Contact with a Girl

Co-authored by Josh Spurlock, MA, LPC, CST

Last Updated: May 30, 2022

If you like a girl or want to start a relationship with her, touching her in a light and friendly manner can let her know that you are interested. Perhaps you like a close friend, or are nervous to start talking to someone you just met. By being kind and initiating physical contact in the proper way, you overcome can fear, have a deeper relationship, and avoid awkward moments.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Getting to Know Her

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Hug her when you see her. This is very casual and common among friends. Hugging shows her that you are excited to see her and is a good start to initiating physical contact.^{[1]
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- If she refrains from hugging you back, she may be uncomfortable or uninterested and you should hold back.
2
Brush against her. Sit next to her with your shoulders or thighs touching, or “accidentally” bump into her as you walk. If this happens a few times, she may take the hint.^{[2]
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- Keep in mind that this might be a little too subtle and she may not even notice.
3
Touch her back. This works especially well if you are walking together, as you can easily put your hand gently on her back.
- Use your surroundings to give reason for contact. For example, if you see a dog or other animal at a distance, touch her back and say something along the lines of “Look over there!”^{[3]
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4
Place your hand on her knee. If you are sitting next to her, lightly touch her knee as you stand up. ^{[4]
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- You can also do this if you are trying to get her attention. Simply tap her leg and say, “Hey, I just wanted to tell you…” or ask her a question.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Taking the Next Step

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Put your arm around her shoulders. If she snuggles closer or at least doesn't pull back, this is a good sign that she feels very comfortable with you.^{[5]
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- If she has followed along up until this point and now stops you or seems hesitant, she may just like you as a friend.
2
Tickle her lightly. This is fun and playful; however, if she seems to not like it or tells you to stop, make sure to do so. If she is interested in you, she may laugh excessively, blush, or tickle you back. ^{[6]
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- Keep in mind that some people just don't like tickling, and this might not be an accurate reflection of her opinion of you.
3
Hold her hand. If you feel like you are at this point, try holding her hand while you are walking or alone together. If she continues to hold it, there is a good chance that she is interested in a relationship with you.^{[7]
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Community Q&A

Question

How can I not be shy with women?

Community Answer

Believe in yourself. Have confidence, or at least pretend to have it until you really do have it. Look them in the eye, try to relax, and ask questions about them. This will help move the conversation forward.
Question

Can she hold me by the waist if I hold her by the waist?

How.to.do.lifestyle

Community Answer

Sure! If you both are comfortable, experiment holding each other in different places.

Warnings

Do not make her uncomfortable in any way. If she tells you to back off, she isn't interested in you.

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If you're feeling insecure with the first interactions, talk it out with someone you trust. Discuss their experiences and try to know the good, the bad and the awkward about physical contact with the other sex. This will help put you at ease.

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