How to Hint That You Love Someone

Co-authored by Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

Last Updated: June 24, 2022

Falling in love with someone can be an incredible feeling, but it can also be terrifying. You might worry about getting your heart broken or being rejected if you confess your true feelings to the person you love. However, instead of saying “I love you,” you can hint at your feelings through your actions and your words.

This article is based on an interview with our licensed marriage and family therapist, Allen Wagner. Check out the full interview here.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Showing Them Through Words

1
Drop verbal hints. When you talk to the one you love, remind them occasionally that you like them and have feelings for them. Talk about how fun it is to spend time together and how glad you are that you know them. Affirm their importance in your life.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Interview. 6 March 2019.} Look them in the eyes softly but seriously and say things like:
- ”I really like you.”
- ”My feelings for you get stronger every single day.”
- ”You are so important to me. I’m so glad that we’re together.”
2
Compare yourselves to other couples. Watch some romantic movies together and tell the one you love that the couples remind you of you two. If the characters love one another, then your partner might take the hint.
- You might watch movies like Love & Basketball, The Notebook, or Titanic.
Advertisement
3
Pay attention to what they say. When having conversations, be completely focused on them. Avoid getting on your phone or tuning them out. Listen to them and try to remember little details about them. Bring these details up in later conversations to show that you were listening.
- For instance, if you notice their favorite movie is on TV, text them to let them know.
4
Share your dreams, goals, and secrets with them.^{[2]
X
Expert Source

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Interview. 6 March 2019.} When you fully open up to your loved one, they’ll see that you trust and love them enough to be vulnerable with them. They'll begin to open up to you in return, bringing you even closer.
5
Show you care about their loved ones. Show that you’re taking an interest in the people who are special to the person you love. When you spend time with their friends or family, actively participate in the conversation or activity. Do you best to remember their friends’ names and what’s going on in their lives. Work on building a bond with their friends and family members.
6
Write them a sweet note. On a day that you are feeling particularly in love, jot some of your feelings down in a letter for them. You don’t have to confess your love, but you can tell them how much you care for and adore them and how they make you feel.
- Mail this letter or slip it to them next time you see them.
7
Compliment them. Remind them often of the things you like about them.^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Interview. 6 March 2019.} If they look beautiful one day, tell them. If you see them do something kind, let them know that you noticed. Show them that you pay attention to them and that you appreciate them.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Speak highly of your loved one to other people, too--especially in their presence!
8
Call and text them throughout the day. Make sure to keep your communication regular. Call them at least once a day and text them throughout the day. Ask them how their day is, give them updates about yours, and let them know you’re thinking of them.
- However, if they don’t text back or never reach out first, then you should back off. You don't want to come off as a stalker instead of caring.
9
Assess their feelings for you. Before you express your undying love for this person, determine if the love is mutual. Ask yourself some basic questions before you profess your feelings.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- Ask yourself questions like “Are they kind to me?” “Do they show me affection?” “Do they support me?”
10
Be honest and open with them. After all this hinting, it is best to come right out and tell them how you feel. You don’t want to have regrets in your love life. Plan a dinner date with them or simply go for a walk in the park. Tell them that you love them and hopefully they’ll tell you back!
- Say something like “I have such deep feelings for you and they seem to get more intense every day. I know we haven’t been dating for that long but I really love you.”

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Showing Them Through Actions

1
Create a playlist of romantic songs for them. Begin to show this person that you adore them by putting all the songs that remind you of them on a playlist. Try to find songs that talk about liking someone to include so they’ll get the hint.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you might include songs like “She’s Everything” by Brad Paisley or “Bonnie and Clyde” by Jay Z and Beyonce.
- You can even make them a CD if they prefer those to playlists.
2
Celebrate milestones and achievements with your loved one. When their birthday comes around, buy or make them a cake. Plan a surprise party for them. If they’ve been working towards a goal, like finishing a project at work or painting a self-portrait, help them celebrate steps they accomplish along the way with a home-cooked meal or a night out.
- If you can’t afford gifts for their birthday or for holidays, make something thoughtful. For instance, you could write out all the things you like about them on slips of colored paper and put it in a jar.
3
Make their favorite food. Show them that you pay attention to the things they like. Invite them over one day to have dinner with you and make their favorite dish. Find out exactly how they like it and prepare it that way.
4
Surprise them with things they like. Buy little gifts for them to show them that you love them. If they like a certain kind of candy, surprise them with that next time you see them. If they like a certain television series, plan a day to binge watch it with them.
- Also, for many series like Harry Potter, there are local trivia nights or library events. See if you can find things like this to surprise them with. It will show that you pay attention to them and care about the things they are interested in.
5
Show them lots of physical attention. Show your interest by maintaining eye contact with them when they are across the room. Flash them a flirty smile to show them that you’re paying attention to them. If you are already dating, put your hand on their waist when they talk or even hold their hand.^{[7]
X
Research source}
6
Spend time together. Show them your love by trying to spend as much time with them as you can. Walk them home from school and plan dates on the weekends. Invite them over to hang out with you at your place or go to the movies. Be as present as possible during these times together; avoid pulling out your phone all the time or getting distracted by a TV in a restaurant. Make this time just about you two, no matter how brief it is.^{[8]
X
Research source}
7
Introduce them to your family. To show someone that you are serious about them, introduce them to your family and close friends. This will show them how much you care for and respect them.
8
Help them whenever you can. Surprise them by taking care of things that you know they dislike, like doing the dishes or washing their car. Offer help if your love is struggling with something, whether it’s homework, car problems, or moving. Remember that love is not just words, but deeds. Show your care and concern by helping out as much as possible.
- Try to offer help before you are asked.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I subtly tell someone that I love them?

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
Marriage & Family Therapist
Allen Wagner is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles, California. He received his Master's in Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2004. He specializes in working with individuals and couples on ways they can improve their relationships. Along with his wife, Talia Wagner, he's the author of Married Roommates.

Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

It might help by giving them compliments or sending them a text when you see something that reminds you of them.