How to Have Sex During Your Period

Co-authored by Rebecca Levy-Gantt, MPT, DO

Last Updated: January 30, 2023 References

Sex during your period can deliver amazing sensations (even more amazing than the normal ones, believe it or not). If you can get past the cultural taboos, it opens up a week that's otherwise limited to tubs of ice cream and stomach cramping. If you and your partner aren't intimidated by the "icky" factor that hangs up a lot of people, follow these tips to have sex during your period, and enjoy the pleasure while minimizing the mess.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Mastering the Mess-Free Deed

1
Get some towels. You don't want your menstrual fluid (combined with everything else) to soak into your sheets and mattress, so while you're having sex, place some towels beneath you and some tissues to your side. The towels will be on constant duty; the tissues will be used to wipe yourself off just before sitting up (when all is said and done).^{[1]
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- If odor is a problem, don't let it ruin the moment -- throw on some blankets. If you keep them above your midsections, they'll help block the wafting scents.
2
Stick to the missionary position. Lie on your back to lessen the flow of blood while you're having intercourse. If your partner has a penis, be careful about deep penetration because your cervix may be lower and more sensitive during your period. If anything starts to hurt, just tell your partner and proceed with care. If you are using a sex toy, you can still lie on your back.^{[2]
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3
Have sex in the shower. Not only is this less messy from the get-go, it's a change of pace, too. When you're under the flow of the water, that other flow becomes a lot less noticeable. If you can fit two in comfortably, give it a shot (if you haven't already!).^{[3]
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4
Use only clean and safe sex toys. You can have an orgasm or have your partner use a sex toy on you during your period, but there are a few things you should keep in mind:
- If you're using a tampon, take it out before inserting a toy into your vagina. Otherwise, the tampon and its string may become lodged too deeply in your vagina for you to remove it on your own. If you're going to be penetrated, wear a tampon and remove it right before the penetration, but never wear a menstrual cup or tampon during intercourse.^{[4]
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- If the string breaks off, don’t panic. You do not have endless space inside where it can get lost.
- Get plenty of lubricants like K-Y Jelly or any other lube you use to have sex.
- Then put a lot of lubricant on your fingertips. You can wear gloves if you prefer. Put the lubricant around the tampon and try to slide it out.
- Be selective with your sex toys. Deeper penetration toys may cause pain in your cervix. Vibrators and wands can provide clitoral stimulation without the need for penetration. Some toys provide both (such as a rabbit vibrators). Use whatever sex toys you want, but make sure they're clean and safe.
- Clean your sex toys. You'll want to clean your sex toys before and after you use them. To clean your electric toys, use a damp, soapy washcloth, preferably with anti-bacterial soap. Toys should be kept in a container or pouch (to keep them clean) and in a cool, dry location. If you're using glass toys, make sure to clean them with soap and water.^{[5]
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- Use safe materials. Silicone, metal, and glass are the top three materials you should use for sex toys. These are not only easy to clean, but they are also easy to sterilize. Porous materials such as PVC/vinyl, rubber, ABS plastic, and jelly should be avoided. Only buy sex toys from stores that specialize in them.^{[6]
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  National Health Service (UK)
  Public healthcare system of the UK
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5
Don't get too handsy. Unless your partner's into uterine lining, they probably shouldn't start feeling around down there. However, if you're the type that needs loads of foreplay, you're in luck! You already have a natural lubricant, so your partner's fingers (and whatever else) can have the night off.
- That doesn't mean you should skip the foreplay entirely. No--that's a travesty! Just use it as an excuse to experiment with new tricks and moves.
6
Stick to your lighter days. This just makes sense. If you know that days 3-5 are lighter than days 1 and 2, just keep your underwear on for those 48 hours. Let the anticipation build and avoid any awkward trips to the laundromat.^{[7]
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- If it doesn't bother your partner and they're totally down for day 1 sex, evaluate your concerns. Maybe it's something you could get over -- after all, it's no less sanitary than what you've been doing. It's just a bit redder, and might be a little uncomfortable.
7
Take a shower after. There will probably be at least a little something on your skin that needs to be washed off. If you didn't do the deed in the shower, hop in after for at least a quick rinse. You'll feel better, too.
- If you're using toys during this time, get those things sanitary immediately. Putting it off will only result in a, how do you say, less-than-glamorous experience. All in all, get everything hygienic as quickly as possible.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Staying Clean and Healthy

1
Use contraception. When you're on your period, you're at a higher risk of STDs and pelvic infections^{[8]
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Research source}. What's more, you're less likely to get pregnant, sure, but it's not impossible. So if you thought this was your ticket to ride, sorry -- you still gotta stay safe. Here are some of your options:
- Diaphragms do double-duty as birth control devices and as menstrual cups to inhibit flow. Sometimes, diaphragms can be felt during sex, and removal can be messy. However, they are generally easy to use because your gynecologist will provide a diaphragm fit exactly to your cervical measurements.^{[9]
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- Contraceptive sponges are foam devices soaked in spermicide that are inserted into your vagina during sex. They can prevent pregnancy and have the side benefit of absorbing flow, although they don't prevent STDs.^{[10]
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- Male condoms will help prevent pregnancy, block STDs, and keep blood from getting on your partner's penis.^{[11]
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- Female condoms, which will also keep your partner from coming into contact with blood while enabling more heat and sensation, are also a good form of birth control, although they will provide slightly less protection than male condoms. You can improve the effectiveness of a female condom by putting some spermicide on the closed end before you insert it into your vagina.^{[12]
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2
Wear a cup that will stop the menstrual flow from leaving your vagina. Wear a menstrual cup for sexual play that doesn't involve intercourse. Wear a softcup for penetrative intercourse.
- Avoid wearing regular menstrual cups during penetration. They are not designed to be used that way and will probably leak. However, if you just want to fool around, menstrual cups prevent leaking and allow for mess-free play including oral sex. Skip cups made of rubber because the rubbery smell and the taste of rubber in your vaginal fluid may be unpleasant for your partner. Use a silicone cup instead.
- Instead softcups are specifically designed to be used during intercourse. They are shaped like a diaphragm, are very flexible, and available at most drugstores. Keep in mind that while you can have intercourse with a soft cup, it doesn't work as a contraceptive.
3
Know that sperm can stay alive for up to 72 hours. If you have a vagina and your partner has a penis and ejaculates inside you, that's three days those little guys have to swim around doing whatever they dang well please. So if you do take the risk of having unprotected sex and your partner ejaculating into you, that's what'll be going on inside you. If your period is over tomorrow, though the risk of getting pregnant is minimal, it's still there.^{[13]
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MedlinePlus
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Convincing Your Partner

1
Talk it over beforehand. Not everybody enjoys period sex, so it's best not to initiate sex during your period and deliver an awkward surprise to your partner and a potentially frustrating response to you. Instead, talk it over and find out what your partner thinks about the situation before you get started. They probably have an opinion!
- Some religions and cultures consider the act of having intercourse during your period to be wrong. While no scientific principles support this restriction, you'll have to respect your partner's feelings on the matter.^{[14]
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  PubMed Central
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2
Reap the benefits. Sex on your period actually makes a lot of sense, if you look at it from the right angle. A lot of people with periods can actually be more sexually aroused during this time, so the sex can be even better. But what's more, it's good for your period.^{[15]
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- Having sex on your period actually makes it shorter. The muscle contractions of the orgasm actually drive out everything faster (as opposed to making it magically disappear). Your period may be a bit heavier, but it'll shrink in duration.
- Your cramps will be lessened. An orgasm is our bodies' version of a natural painkiller. It's a rush that wipes away all those aches and floods our feel-good receptors in our brains. If you're out of Midol, take to the sheets!
3
Be confident. Your period and your vagina are in no way dirty or gross. Having sex while menstruating isn't weird, uncommon, unhygienic or unsafe. It's all in your head, so quit psyching yourself out!
- If both of you enjoy it (and you inevitably will), why the fuss? You may feel awkward when you first start, but your mind will be taken off the matter in minutes. Maybe even seconds!
4
Be inventive. Sex is generally thought of as penetration, but there are many other forms of sexual play that can bring pleasure to both partners, even if you or your partner do not wish to have vaginal intercourse during your period. Take this opportunity to discuss and brainstorm new ideas.

Warnings

If you feel a sharp pain in your stomach it may be a sign your partner penetrated too deeply and hit your cervix, which descends during menstruation. If you are okay to carry on, try a different position and ask your partner to be careful.

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Sex should not be done on people under the age of 18--this is not illegal, but not recommended.

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