How to Get your Boyfriend to Fall in Love with You

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: March 11, 2022 References Approved

If you are casually dating a guy, you probably have hopes that he will fall deeply in love with you and that you’ll stay together forever. We'll walk you through the best ways to increase your connection and build a strong and healthy relationship with him. If you’re understanding, considerate, and fun, your relationship may reach a new level before you know it!

1

Remind him of all of his good qualities.

Give him plenty of sincere compliments to make him feel great about himself. If your boyfriend loves the person he is around you, he’ll want to spend even more time with you. Tell your boyfriend how amazing, good-looking, and smart he is.^{[1]
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2

Do sweet, romantic things for him often.

This helps keep the spark alive in your relationship. Remember that romantic feeling you felt when you first got together? You want to keep that going no matter how long you've been dating! Show your boyfriend how much he means to you so you can keep your passion alive.^{[2]
X
Research source} Here are some things that you can do:
- Write sweet notes for him to find when you’re not home telling him how much he means to you.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
  Psychotherapist
  Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}
- Get him coffee in the morning or put gas in his car if he's really low on time.^{[4]
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  Expert Source
  
  Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
  Psychotherapist
  Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}
- Send him a cute text message when he’s having a long day.
- Plan romantic date nights at least twice a month.

3

Discover new things to do together.

Try out a variety of new activities together to keep things interesting. Take a trip to a new hiking spot once a month, explore a new part of the city together, take a dance class, or even start a two-person book club. Finding new things to enjoy together can deepen your bond and make you love each other even more.^{[5]
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- You don’t have to try too hard to do something new. Just one completely new thing every few weeks will do the trick; it’s important to find a routine you love, too.
- Be spontaneous. If you wake up on a Saturday morning and feel like painting your room yellow or taking a trip to the beach together, then go for it.

4

Be cool with his friends.

Win your boyfriend over by getting along with his buddies. Be friendly when you see them even when your boyfriend’s not around, and make an effort to make them feel comfortable. When your boyfriend is out with his friends without you, trust that he's just having a good time with his friends and avoid calling or texting him a bunch. If his friends like you, then they’ll tell your boyfriend that you’re a catch.
- Don’t make him choose between you and his friends. If you’re hanging out together, invite some of your friends and some of his friends to join you.

5

Keep things sexy.

You want things to stay exciting in the bedroom. Whether you’re having sex or just making out a lot, make sure to keep that momentum going, even if you’ve been together for a while. Don’t make your boyfriend feel like you’re only hooking up because he wants to, but because you’re really feeling it, too. That said, you should never feel pressured to do more than you’re comfortable with just to please your boyfriend.^{[6]
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- Every relationship moves at its own pace and you shouldn’t have sex with your boyfriend if you’re not ready.
- If you two are sexually active, then make sure there’s still time for foreplay, affection, and some cuddling afterward, so you don’t take each other for granted too much.

6

Give him space to do his own thing.

If you really want him to love you, let him be his own person. Encourage him to focus on his interests and hobbies, like studying and playing guitar. Giving your boyfriend time to do his own thing will help him appreciate the time he gets to spend with you more. It also helps him continue to grow as a person.^{[7]
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- Spending every second with your boyfriend can cause you to lose your sense of self. It's healthy for both of you to keep active lives outside of your relationship.

7

Make time for your own interests.

Keep being that independent person he fell for when you started dating. Keeping a meaningful life going outside of your relationship helps your boyfriend realize it's a privilege to spend time with you. Write poetry, hang out with your friends, or take daily yoga classes. Try anything that benefits your own personal growth.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}
- If he thinks that you have all day, every day to spend time with him, then he may take you for granted.
- Making time to see your other friends helps you live a well-rounded life and encourages you to grow as a person.

8

Communicate in a calm, respectful manner.

Strong communication can make your boyfriend fall for you.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} Talk to your boyfriend about your bad day. Ask him why he's upset if he's clearly not feeling his best but holding back. Bring up something that's been bothering you in the relationship in a tactful and respectful manner. Making a habit of having strong communication skills can help you and your boyfriend have a healthy and loving relationship.^{[10]
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Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- When it comes to having a serious talk, timing is be everything. Don’t bring up something that’s been bothering you for weeks 15 minutes before your boyfriend’s birthday party or job interview.
- Listening is just as important as talking. When your boyfriend is trying to tell you something, make sure you really listen to what he’s saying instead of waiting for your turn to speak or interrupting him.

9

Apologize when you've made a mistake.

Admit that you messed up to earn your boyfriend's trust and respect. Look him in the eyes, put away your phone, and make him see how truly sorry you are. Don’t make him think that you’re saying sorry just because you want something from him or because you feel like you have to. Let him see that you’re really troubled by what you did and that you’re determined not to do it again.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}
- It’s more important to admit that you’re human than to try to act perfect so that your boyfriend will like you.
- Don’t say, “I’m sorry that you got mad when I…” because this puts the blame on your boyfriend. Instead, take responsibility and say, “I’m sorry that I…”

10

Get along with his family.

His family are probably the most important people in his life. When you see them, be friendly, make small talk, and be a considerate guest in his family’s home. If it’s just not working, try to be patient. At the end of the day, your boyfriend wants a partner that fits comfortably in his life.^{[12]
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- If his family really is truly cold and unwelcoming, work on maintaining a respectful distance from them and discuss the situation as sensitively as possible with your boyfriend.
- Your boyfriend has known his family a lot longer than he’s known you. Don’t make him choose between you or them.

11

Tame any feelings of jealousy.

Do your best to show your boyfriend that you trust him. Constantly doubting him or asking where he’s been will make him feel smothered. If he's never given you any reason to doubt him, try your best to trust him.^{[13]
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- If your boyfriend is doing something suspicious, then you have the right to ask questions. Just don't ask him questions every time he talks to another person.

12

Take things slow.

You can't force love overnight. Spend time with each other consistently and let the relationship move at its own pace. Don't rush things like introducing him to your friends and family, going on weekend trips, moving in together, or even saying "I love you." Letting things move naturally allows his feelings to develop over time. ^{[14]
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- If you pressure him to move faster than he's comfortable with, it may scare him off. Respect the fact that people need time for their feelings to develop.

13

Stay true to yourself.

You want your boyfriend to love and appreciate who you really are. Don't change yourself for him. If you find yourself acting or dressing in a way that's not like you at all, rethink your motivations. You don't need to be a perfect, polished version of yourself for him to love you.^{[15]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}

Expert Q&A
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Question

How can you tell if someone really loves you?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Relationship Coach
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Actions speak louder than words. If somebody is doing the things that they're telling you they're going to do, such as following through and planning a trip or talking about being kind and really being kind to you, it says a lot about their loyalty to you.
Question

How do I make my boyfriend jealous?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Relationship Coach
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

If you're trying to make your boyfriend jealous, it means you want to get his attention. Try to just cut the games out of your relationship and have a conversation with him instead. Being vulnerable and direct with him will be a better option.

Warnings

These are only tips on ways to keep him. You cannot force someone to love you.

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If things just aren't working out between the both of you, there is nothing you can really do.

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