How to Get a New Friend (Girls)

Last Updated: January 26, 2023 References

Making friends can be hard, especially if you're new or you're just not as social as other girls, or even just need to catch the nerve to make friends. However, you can do it by going through a few steps when you meet new people. It's going to take a little bravery, but you're up to the challenge. You'll need to change up your routine a little and introduce yourself to new people. You'll also need to learn how to be a good friend to someone.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Meeting New People

1
Be open-minded. When making new friends, the best way to start is to look at the places you already know. You probably have people in your everyday life that you haven't really met or talked to. So try talking to them first. To make a new friend, you need to seek out those people you haven't talked to yet. It's important to think outside the box. You may not have talked to someone because you didn't think you would like them, but to make new friends, you need to be open to a wide variety of people.^{[1]
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- Remember, people aren't always what they seem. You may think someone may not make a good friend just by looking at them, but you don't know what that person is like until you get to know them.
2
Change your routine. Making new friends means opening yourself up to new possibilities. You have to change things up. Try sitting somewhere new at lunch for instance. Sitting with a new group of people is ideal, but even just sitting in a different part of the cafeteria can make a difference.^{[2]
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- You could also try a different hang out spot. If you usually hang out in the library after school, try moving to the gym or the courtyard, for instance.
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3
Try a sport. Joining a sport can help you make friends. You'll be on a team where you have to work together to play a game. Working together can help you make friends, as you're all working towards a common goal. Your school should have a wide variety of sports available.^{[3]
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- You could play basketball, volleyball, or soccer.
- You don't have to join a sport at your school. Your community should also have sports and other athletic activities for kids your age, including dance.
4
Join an activity you like. Clubs are a great place to meet new people. You'll find people there who like something you do already, whatever the club is about. See what your school offers. Don't decide based on what is the most popular. Instead, join one that sounds interesting to you. That way, you'll find other people there with common interests.^{[4]
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- You could join a chess club, art club, marching band, or school choir. It doesn't have to be a club or even something associated with your school. You could join community clubs or classes, too.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Making a Connection

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Start a conversation. Begin by smiling at the person. Smiling makes you feel happier and more confident. It can make it easier to walk up to someone to start a conversation. Plus, when you smile, the person you're smiling at automatically wants to smile back. ^{[5]
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Research source} Then, introduce yourself by saying "Hello" and giving your name.^{[6]
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- Start with, "Hello, I'm Jessica. What's your name?"
- Bring up a topic to begin the conversation. In a conversation, both you and the person you're talking to need a chance to say something. You're exchanging information to learn about each other. For example, you could ask them about their favorite singer or what their favorite color is.^{[7]
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- You could also start a conversation about what's going on around you. For instance, if you're in math class, you could say, "Is there a lot of homework this year?"
- If you're at lunch, you could say, "So what's your favorite food?"
2
Be approachable. Smiling at people is a good way to show people you're open to friendship. You don't always need to be the person who says "Hello." Sometimes, other people will come up to you if you look approachable. Approachable just means you look like someone nice that another person could have a conversation with.^{[8]
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- In other words, try not to cross your arms or look angry if you want someone to approach. Try to look happy and interested in other people.
- If someone comes up to say "hello," ask her to sit next to you. You could say, "I'm so glad you came over! Would you like to sit next to me?"
3
Act friendly. When you're meeting someone new, you have to be able to hold a conversation. That means you need to both ask questions about the other person and answer their questions in return. It's a way of getting to know one another. It involves both giving to the conversation and actively listening to what the person has to say.^{[9]
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- You could ask them, "What's your favorite food?" If they say, "Pizza!" you could say, "Pizza is my favorite, too! We made it at home last week."
- That way, you're offering something about yourself (what your favorite food is), as well as offering them something to respond to ("We made it at home last week.") They might say, "Really? I've never made pizza before. Is it hard?"
4
Find common interests. Many friendships are based on the fact that you have common interests. That doesn't mean that you like all the same things. However, it does mean that you share some things that you both like. As you're talking to the person, try to figure out what things you both like. That way, you can develop those interests.^{[10]
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- For example, you discovered you both have a love of pizza. That's a common interest! You could get pizza together, or you could even invite them over to your house to learn how to make pizza.
- You could say, "Since we both love pizza so much, maybe you'd like to come over sometime and make pizza with me."
5
Ask questions about your new friend. Use what you know about the person to ask questions about their life and interests. If you don't know very much about the person, ask questions to get to know them better.
- For example, you could ask, "I saw you're on the dance team. How long have you been dancing?"
- Or, you could ask, "How's your project for our math class going? Mine is taking forever!"

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Building a Strong Friendship

1
Offer a compliment. Everyone likes to hear good things about themselves. When someone tells you something nice about yourself, it makes you feel good, right? Well, the same works for other people, too. When you're trying to make new friends, it helps to give that person a compliment because it makes her feel good when she's around you.^{[11]
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- All you have to do to give someone a compliment is tell them something you like about them. For instance, you could say, "Your purple shirt is awesome!" or "You're really smart!"
- Of course, you don't want to stop just because you became friends. Keep giving each other compliments. It'll make you both happier.
2
Do nice things. Like compliments, people like it when you're nice to them. Plus, being nice to someone helps you make friends. When you do nice things for people, they want to hang around you more and be your friend because you're fun to be around.^{[12]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- For instance, bring them a treat from home when you bake, or help them out when they're struggling with a problem. You could also make them a bracelet to show you want to be friends.
3
Listen to your friend. Everyone likes to talk about what's going in their life. When you want to be a friend to someone, you can't just talk about what you're doing all the time. You also need to give your friend a chance to talk, too. Ask them how their day is going, and see what they say.^{[13]
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- Respond to what they say. For instance, if they say, "I'm really sad," say, "I'm sorry. Why are you sad?"
- In addition, it's important to listen when your friend is going through a tough time. Everyone has problems from time to time, and it usually helps to talk about it. When your new friend is feeling down, ask them what's wrong. See if they want to talk about it, and then listen to what they have to say. Being a good friend means being there for them when they need someone to listen.
- Social skills come easier to some people than others. If you want some practice, ask your parents. They can help you build your listening skills.^{[14]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Child Mind Institute
  Nonprofit organization providing evidence-based care for children with mental health and learning disorders and their families
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- You can also use nonverbal listening cues. Look the person in the eyes, nod when they speak, and give them small affirming words (like "uh-huh") to let them know that you're listening. Have open body language towards the person: face them and don't cross your arms.
4
Let the person be who they are. When you meet new people, you may not like certain parts of who they are. Nobody's perfect, and everyone has something that will bother someone else. The important thing is to try to see past that to the person. If you like the person, try to just accept them for who they are, just like you expect to be accepted for who you are.^{[15]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- For example, maybe you don't like the fact that your friend loves Justin Bieber. Everyone has different tastes, so let it slide.
- Maybe you notice that your friend chews with their mouth open and that bothers you. It's better to just overlook that fact than to unfriend a person over it.