How to Get a Guy to Ask You to Homecoming

Co-authored by Collette Gee

Last Updated: May 13, 2022 References

If the guy you’d like to go to homecoming with has yet to ask you, the best thing to do is to start indirectly letting him know you would like to go. If you flirt, and he flirts back, you might have a good chance. Then all it takes is dropping some hints and making it easy for him to think of asking you. But if he doesn't ask you, don't let it get you down too much. After all, it's only a dance.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Flirting With Him

1
Befriend him first. If you are not already good friends with the guy you have your eye on, try to become friends before he has to finalize his homecoming plans. Start by approaching him about casual topics, like class or pop culture, and gradually build up to the beginnings of a friendship, or at least until you're not strangers. Just make sure you don't start flirting until it's too late. He has to believe you could see him as more than a friend as well if he's going to ask you to homecoming.^{[1]
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- Do not approach him right away with the idea of going to homecoming. Stay away from the topic so that he does not feel pressured into dealing with the feelings of a virtual stranger. When the time comes for him to choose a date, his cool new friend—you—just might come to mind.
2
Flirt to get him thinking about you romantically. Once you've established some kind of friendship with the guy you have in mind, it's time to get on his radar in a romantic way. The best way to do this is to start flirting. Whenever you're around your crush, try to be warm and pleasant, noticeably so. And most importantly, make strong eye contact. Whenever the two of you are talking, hold eye contact longer than you would with other friends, and gaze deeply, with intention.^{[2]
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- Other small things you can do to flirt include: keeping your feet and torso pointed towards him while in a group setting and finding ways to innocently touch him like a light hand on his arm when he says something funny.
- Try to project positive energy so you seem more approachable. Smile, laugh, and carry yourself with confidence when you walk into a room.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Collette Gee
  Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
  Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}
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3
Recognize signs of flirting. Does he smile every time he sees you? Does he give off non-verbal flirting signs, like incidental touches and long eye contact? Look out for verbal flirting as well, such as compliments. The most important thing to consider when deciding whether you're getting flirting signs or not is to look at how his behavior towards you compares to his behavior towards others. If it's friendlier, touchier, and more intimate with his eye contact towards you, then chances are you've got his attention in a good way.^{[4]
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- Reading body language is one of the best ways to recognize flirting. If a guy is in to you, his body language will do two things: it will become less relaxed and more alert, and it will point towards you. Some examples of things to look for include:^{[5]
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  - His gaze pointing at you often
  - His feet pointed toward you while sitting or standing in a group
  - His torso leaning towards you while sitting
  - A straight posture and open body language, no crossed arms or legs

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Dropping Hints

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Talk about how excited you are for homecoming. Do not bring it up during every conversation, but mentioning it every other day or so should get the point across. Mention how eager you are to attend. Talk about all the little details involved, including the way your outfit looks and what you plan on wearing with it or, if you do not have an outfit yet, the sort of outfit you would like to wear. Also make sure to talk about how fun you think homecoming will be.^{[6]
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- Some examples of things you can say include: "I can't wait to see all my friends in their dresses," "I wonder what kind of music they'll play at homecoming," and "I can just tell that this homecoming is going to be memorable."
2
Mention that you are available. When you talk about homecoming, make sure your crush knows that you are currently dateless. Along with mentioning how eager you are for homecoming to come, mention that you do not have anyone to go with yet or that you are only planning on going with your friends "so far." Use terminology like "so far" to suggest that you are open to the idea of going with a date rather than your group of friends. ^{[7]
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- Avoid saying anything desperate, though, like "I don't know what I'll do if no one asks me to go."
- Instead, keep the statements positive. You can say something like "I can't wait until homecoming. I wonder who I'll go with," or "So far I've just got plans to go with my friends. We've been talking about it non-stop."
3
Ask him about his homecoming plans. If the guy you have your eye on already has a date for homecoming, no amount of hint-dropping will make him ask you. Find out if your guy is available or a lost cause by asking about his homecoming plans. Do not blurt out the question, "Do you have a homecoming date?" Instead, as you are casually talking about your own plans, slip in a question about whether or not he plans to go or if he is looking forward to it. You can say something like "My friends and I have already planned out what we're going to do before homecoming. What about you?" As he begins talking more about homecoming, you can gradually ease the information out of him.^{[8]
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4
Plant the idea in his mind. If you find out that your crush is available for homecoming, let it be known that you would be interested in going with him. This can be difficult unless you are already pretty good friends with him. You need to be able to joke around about it by saying things like, "We'd be the best dressed couple there if we went together" or "We'd be able to show everyone what having a good time looks like." By joking about it, you plant the idea in his head to ask you without putting any pressure on yourself or him.^{[9]
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- Only mention it lightly and do not talk about it too much or be too pushy about the suggestion.
5
Write "anonymous" notes. If you want to try something a little more playful, literally drop hints by placing unsigned notes in various locations. Stick a note in his locker, at his lunch table, or anywhere you think he might see. The notes should say something along the lines of, "There is someone who is secretly hoping you'll take her to homecoming." Make sure the notes are addressed to him so that he knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are for him. Leave him strong clues to your identity but never come right out and say who you are.
- If he asks you directly whether or not you wrote the notes, though, confirm his suspicions; otherwise, another girl might try to take the credit.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Making It Easy For Him

1
Go out on a date before homecoming. If you are on good, friendly terms with your crush, ask him to see a movie or a game a few weekends before homecoming. Avoid labeling it as a date. Instead, act as though you are interested in going out with him as a friend, or leave the day out together ambiguous. If necessary, you can even invite him out as a part of a larger group. The point is simply to have fun together. If you successfully have a good time, it may prompt in him the desire to ask you out to homecoming.^{[10]
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2
Pair off your friends. If you can get at least one of his friends to go to homecoming with one of yours, it opens the door for going together as a group. When you're paired off friends are chatting with you and your crush, you can casually throw out the idea of going together as a group. You could also ask your friend to bring the idea up, or ask her to have her date bring it up. This works especially well if he has multiple friends going with multiple friends of yours.
3
Ask your friends to put in a good word for you. If you have mutual friends, ask them to plant the idea of inviting you to homecoming in your prospective date's head. The guy you have in mind may not have realized that you are interested, but if a friend of yours brings your name up and casually suggests that he asks you to the dance, he just might get the hint. Your friend does not necessarily need to mention that you expressed the specific desire to go with him, but your friend should make it clear that she feels confident you would say yes if asked.
- For example, ask your friend to say something to your crush like "Have you thought about who you're going to ask to the dance? What about so-and-so? You guys would probably look cute together."
4
Ask him yourself if all else fails. If your crush is a little on the shy side but seems like he might be interested, you can ask him indirectly to go to homecoming with you. Phrase it in a non-committal sort of way, though. Instead of specifically asking, "Will you go with me?" or saying "I want to go with you," ask him "if" he'd be interested in going with you. It gives him a strong hint that you are interested while allowing you to casually brush it off if he says otherwise.^{[11]
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- There are ways to phrase this question casually, such as "Hey we both don't have anyone to go with to homecoming yet right? Maybe we could go with each other. That might be fun."

Expert Q&A
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Question

How can I appear more approachable to a guy?

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

Collette Gee

Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

The most important thing is to stand up straight, walk into the room with confidence, and have a smile on your face. Radiating positive energy will make you more magnetic and attractive. Don't be afraid to make eye contact and nod at the guy to show him that you're friendly and approachable.