Falling in Love as a Teen: How to Recognize Teen Love and Make It Last

Co-authored by John Keegan and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: January 11, 2023 References Approved

Are those butterflies in your stomach love? Is your heart doing somersaults because you’re head over heels for someone? Teen love is definitely real, even though many adults are quick to dismiss it. You can totally make young love last if you build a healthy relationship and act maturely. We’re here to help you listen to your heart if it says you’ve fallen hard for someone.

Things You Should Know

You might be in love if you’re afraid of getting hurt, you can’t get them off your mind, you like them as a person, and you want the best for them.
Make sure your relationship is healthy by respecting each other, communicating well, and trusting each other.
Take things slowly and just have fun together. Teen love can be an amazingly exciting experience!

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Signs You’re in Love

1
You can’t stop talking about them. Are your friends tired of hearing you talk about this person? If you find yourself bringing them up in every conversation, you might be talking about them because you’re totally in love!^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Keep track of how often you mention them. You might catch yourself talking about them over lunch or texting your friends about what they did in class or what they’re wearing.
2
You’re afraid of getting hurt. Feeling scared is completely normal for anyone who is falling in love. It’s scary to be vulnerable with someone because you don’t want to get hurt.^{[2]
X
Research source} You’re afraid of getting your heart broken, and that’s totally normal.
- You shouldn’t be afraid of the person you love—just of getting hurt.
Advertisement
3
You think about them a lot. Do you keep picturing them when you’re doing your homework or trying to wash the dishes? Maybe everything you see reminds you of them. Thinking about someone when you’re apart could mean you’re in love.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- On the flip side, this could be infatuation. Look for other signs of being in love before you label your feelings.
4
You know them well and accept their flaws. When you love someone, you learn to live with their faults. Their flaws might still annoy you sometimes, but you’re willing to deal with them because you care about this person so much.^{[4]
X
Research source} Being in love means knowing the person is imperfect, but being crazy about them anyway.
- When you first fall for someone, you might see them as an idealized version of themselves. As you get to know them better, you’ll be able to see them as they truly are, flaws and all.
5
You’re into their personality—not just their body. You probably find lots of people attractive, and that’s totally normal. When it comes to love, you’ll also see their other amazing qualities, like their intelligence or sense of humor. Ask yourself if you have a mental or emotional connection with this person. If so, it might be true love.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- If you’re mostly focused on their looks, you might be feeling lust or might just have a crush. There’s nothing wrong with that! But it’s helpful to know what you’re really feeling.
6
You’re willing to work hard for the relationship. All relationships go through rough patches, and you’ll likely argue sometimes. When you’re in love, you stick together through adversity. Ask yourself if you’d still love this person after a fight or if they disappoint you.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- This stops being true if your partner is abusive or cheats. It’s not okay for them to mistreat you, and you should 100% break up with them.^{[7]
  X
  Research source}
- If your parents or friends don’t like this person, ask them why so you can try to understand their viewpoint. Take their opinions into consideration, just in case they see a red flag that you don’t.
7
You want the best for them. When you love someone, you support their goals and cheer them on. You’re there to celebrate their successes and want them to be happy. Ask yourself if you’re their biggest cheerleader. If you are, you might be in love.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- You go to all their games.
- You’re the first to congratulate them on their accomplishments.
- You send them encouraging memes or snaps.
- You keep up with things they’re working on.
8
Your intuition tells you you’re in love. Trust your gut! If you think you might be in love, you probably are.^{[9]
X
Research source} Ignore any naysayers who claim you’re too young or that your love won’t last. Just enjoy the excitement of falling in love with someone amazing.^{[10]
X
Research source}

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Making Love Last

1
Tell the person you love how you feel. Is there anything more exciting and scary than telling someone you love them? It’s okay to feel nervous about talking about your feelings, but someone has to be the first one to bring up love. Wait until your relationship feels close and committed. Then, say how you feel and listen to your partner’s reaction.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- “You’re such an amazing person, and I’m so happy we’re together. I love you.”
- “I’m so lucky to have you. Lately, I’ve realized that I truly love you.”
2
Communicate honestly with each other. Healthy relationships depend on good communication. Talk to each other every day, and be totally open about what you’re doing and how you feel. Be vulnerable with your partner by sharing your inner thoughts and secrets. Also, keep getting to know each other even after you say “I love you.”^{[12]
X
Research source}
- You might send each other texts or snaps throughout the day. At the same time, try not to distract each other from important tasks, like studying or playing sports.
- Try to have at least one long talk every week so you can keep growing your connection.
- Ask each other questions to get to know each other.
3
Make sure they treat you with respect. You can’t help who you fall in love with, but you shouldn’t give your love to someone who doesn’t treat you kindly. A good partner will treat you well and never act abusively. Expect your partner to do the following:^{[13]
X
Research source}
- Value your needs.
- Listen to you.
- Support you.
- Let you be independent.
- Compromise with you.
4
Confirm that you trust each other. Trust is an important part of any relationship. If you both love each other, you should be able to trust each other. To build trust, be honest with each other and follow through when you say you’ll do something.^{[14]
X
Research source}
- While it’s normal to get jealous sometimes, don’t let that break your trust.^{[15]
  X
  Research source} When you feel jealous, talk about it with your partner or friends to help you work through your feelings.^{[16]
  X
  Research source}
- Your partner should trust you to hang out with other people without getting jealous. If your partner tries to control who you see, they might not be right for you.
5
Take things slowly. Being in love is such an amazing feeling, but your relationship will be so much better if you take your time. Don’t feel rushed to explore sexuality or make a serious commitment to each other. Enjoy being teens in love without the pressure to make big decisions. Have fun together, and take your time to build your connection and learn more about each other.
- Go on lots of dates and have long conversations.
- Learn about each other’s interests, hobbies, and goals.
- Make fun memories together.
6
Decide on your boundaries. Figure out what you are and are not okay with in your relationship. For example, you may be okay with kissing, but maybe you aren’t okay with going any further than that. If you and your partner are in love, you should be able to talk openly with each other. Have a conversation with them about your limits so they will know what they can and can not do.^{[17]
X
Research source} Your boundaries might include:
- Speaking kindly to each other.
- No texting or calling during your study hours.
- No contacting you when you’re hanging with friends.
- Keeping each other’s secrets.
- Being nice to each other’s friends.
7
Encourage your partner to stay independent. You and your partner still need your own space even after you fall in love. You want each other to be happy, and that means spending time apart sometimes. Keep pursuing your own dreams and hanging out with your friends, and cheer on your partner as they do the same.^{[18]
X
Research source}
- You’re both learning and growing a lot at your age. It’s good to explore who you are and what you want in life.
- Both of you should get to try new things right now and have different experiences.
- You should both keep your friend groups and continue to hang out with them.
8
Talk to your parents about your feelings. You might feel awkward talking to your parents, but they can give you great advice. They’ve got a lot of life experience to draw upon, and they probably want the best for you.^{[19]
X
Research source} Be open with them about your relationship so they can be there for you.
- You might not feel comfortable talking to your parents if they haven’t been there for you in the past. Find an adult that you do trust to confide in, like a relative or your school counselor.
- Ask your parents if they can set aside time to talk to you. You can say something like “I feel like I’m in love. Do you have any advice?”
- You can also say, “I think I’m falling in love, and I’d love to talk to you about it.”

Warnings

Being in love is an amazing feeling! At the same time, don’t put all of your energy into your relationship. Continue to have fun with your friends and to pursue your own interests.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 27 Not Helpful 0