How to Get a Girl Who Is Your Friend to Like You (Girls)

Co-authored by Michele Fields

Last Updated: January 9, 2023

It can be difficult to bridge the gap between being friends and becoming a couple, especially if the two of you have been "just friends" for a long time. You may be concerned that she has become so accustomed to you as a friend and only a friend that she is unable to see you as anything else. But she can, and having her as a friend gives her an advantage.

Steps

1
Confirm that she's interested in girls. You're already aware that she likes you, at least as a friend. This is something you should keep in mind as you work. As her friend, you can try to talk to her about the qualities she looks for in a girl. You can then see where you stand in relation to her ideal friend. Avoid flirting with a girl that has made it clear she is not interested in girls.
- The easiest way to know is to ask her if she's into girls.
2
Be true to yourself. Don't try to be someone you're not if she likes you the way you are. Although, try to be more considerate of her, to go out of your way to do good deeds and to make her feel special. Avoid trying to change who you are just to make her like you--she likes you enough to be your friend.

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3
Don't assume she does or doesn't like you. For all you know, she might already like you but is too shy to express it. If you don't want to tell her straight out that you like her, you should make your actions suggest it. Those hints could be all the motivation she needs to admit it herself.
4
Give meaningful compliments. Most girls enjoy compliments, as long as they are sincere. Compliment her on something other than her looks all the time, such as her personality, or passion for something she's interested in.
5
Try flirting with her. Make direct eye contact. Put your hand on her arm, shoulder, or hand. Give her hugs and compliments. Ask thoughtful questions, and tell jokes.
- You can gently hold her hand.^{[1]
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- Open a door for her and put your hand on her back when she is going through it.
- If she's uncomfortable with the flirting, cool it.
6
Listen to her. Offer to assist her with any problems she is experiencing. Listen without giving advice or judgement. Allow her to vent when she's going through a lot, and be considerate.
- Be there to listen to her problems.^{[2]
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7
From time to time, give a gift. Small thoughtful gifts are always appreciated and may make her reconsider you. They don't have to be expensive; just small tokens that show you care about her and are aware of her interests.
8
Take care of your health. Maintain good hygiene, eat healthily, and get some exercise. Rest for at least 8 hours, use deodorant, and shower frequently.

Community Q&A

Question

Can nine year old children flirt with girls?

Community Answer

That's up to the parents of the child. But usually, this is a no-go.
Question

I am a lesbian trying to flirt with my bi friend. She doesn't seem to notice, but sometimes I can see her staring at me. Help!

JordynOP

Community Answer

Ask her to do something with you as friends. If she says yes, try getting close to her or drop hints that you want something more. If you're too shy, try doing something small, like making her something. It's the thought that counts!
Question

Should I flirt with my crush, even if we are both girls?

JordynOP

Community Answer

Make sure she is into girls first, and if she is, then go forward with it, slowly at first.

Warnings

Don't bombard her with gifts or compliments. If she knows you like her, and she doesn't like you, give her space.

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If a girl is pushing you away when you get close to her, she isn't interested. You should back off.

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