How to Deal With Being Highly Sensitive

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: August 4, 2022 References

It is estimated that fifteen to twenty percent of the population has a highly sensitive personality. It can be very challenging for a highly sensitive person to live in our modern fast-paced and aggressive world. Managing strong negative emotions can add significant obstacles to social interactions and personal relationships. Highly sensitive people can manage this issue, however, through conscientious behavior and working to ensure that they don’t find themselves in positions that are too far from their control.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Managing Your Environment

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Have your own space. Being highly sensitive means that you may find yourself in situations that create strong emotions that you’d rather not have to deal with publicly. In order to reduce the stress involved in having to cope with your feelings while surrounded by others, establish a space that is just for you that you can go to deal with things in your own time.^{[1]
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- If you have your own house or apartment, ask friends and family to call before coming over. This will provide you with a chance to let them know that you need some time alone when it’s necessary.
- If you live with other people, establish an area that you use as your own personal safe haven. It could be your bedroom, an office, or a secluded and comforting part of your yard.
- What’s important is that you have a space you can go to be alone and deal with negative emotions at your own pace.
2
Avoid long car trips with people. Being in a car with a person for extended periods of time offers a number of opportunities for issues to come up in conversation that you may find hurtful, but you won’t be able to separate yourself from the situation to cope while along for the ride.^{[2]
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- Being stuck in the car with someone while struggling with hurt or angry emotions can be especially difficult and may lead to making the situation worse by arguing or saying something that you don’t really mean.
- Enclosed spaces can amplify stress and make things feel even worse than they would normally.
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Take your own transportation. Taking your own transportation will benefit a highly sensitive person in more situations than just long car trips. Having your own mode of transportation will allow you to leave early if you find yourself struggling with your emotions or even just provide you a safe place to be alone for a while.^{[3]
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- If you find yourself experiencing difficult emotions, you can go sit in your car for a few minutes to be alone while you calm down.
- If things become increasingly difficult, having your own transportation will allow you to leave early, instead of relying on others.
- Simply having the option to leave may help you to combat stressors by knowing you can leave whenever you may need to.
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Find a place to decompress at work or school. You may not always be able to completely leave a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. In these instances, it may be enough to simply find a secluded place to decompress for a while.^{[4]
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- Excuse yourself to the restroom and have a seat in a stall for a few minutes of peace. Sometimes, that may be enough to help you assess your feelings and choose the appropriate way to proceed.
- Go for a walk outside if it isn’t crowded. Getting some fresh air can help calm your nerves.
- Use headphones to help isolate you from others in a crowded space so you can still be alone with your thoughts.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Controlling Your Emotions

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Identify your emotional triggers. The first step to identifying your triggers is to accept responsibility for your behavior. While you cannot control how things make you feel, you can control how you act when uncomfortable topics come up. With that understanding, start paying attention to issues or topics that make it harder for you to manage your emotions and responses.^{[5]
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- Pay close attention to how topics make you feel. Consider whether it’s anger, jealousy, disgust or something else that you are feeling.
- You may want to keep a journal about your experiences. After a short time focusing on what upsets you and how you react, you will be able to produce a list of common triggers that you should try to avoid.
2
Avoid your emotional triggers. Once you have identified your emotional triggers, use that information to help you deal with others. It’s best to actively avoid these trigger issues to prevent experiencing difficult feelings while in public.
- Excuse yourself from conversations that surround issues or topics that you know will create difficult to manage emotions.
- Try not to bring topics up with people that you know will upset you.
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Be actively aware of what you’re feeling. Paying attention to your feelings will help you stay one step ahead of them. If you feel yourself beginning to become emotional in a situation that may not be appropriate, try to be proactive and separate yourself from the situation.^{[6]
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- By paying attention to how you feel, you give yourself the opportunity to manage your emotions and the way you react to them.
- If you feel yourself becoming upset, try changing the subject to a less emotionally charged topic, or simply excusing yourself from the conversation.
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Try to consider the cause of your feelings. Being highly sensitive can lead you to question the validity of your stronger emotions at times. Are you reacting this strongly because of your sensitivity or because it’s appropriate? The best way to be sure is to actively consider the causes of your difficult emotions.
- Think about what has caused you to feel the way that you do and try to be objective when judging your own emotional experience.
- Remember that everyone experiences strong emotions and there’s nothing wrong with being offended, angry, sad or upset.
- Ask yourself if something good or constructive can come from you voicing your anger or displeasure with the situation. If your input can improve a situation, it may be worth addressing.
5
Don’t drink too much when you’re with others. Alcohol can make it extremely difficult to manage your emotions, and even harder to manage your behavior when you are upset. Drinking in excess can lead you to say things you don’t mean when you are experiencing emotions you find difficult to manage.^{[7]
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- Try not to drink alcohol when in stressful situations to allow yourself the most control over your behavior and emotions.
- Drinking can lead to taking offense or getting upset at things you may not normally find offensive. Remember that if you drink, you may have trouble differentiating between justified negative feelings and ones that are born out of your high levels of sensitivity.
6
Choose what to address and what to let go. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive, and your friends and family should understand when you find things that are said or done to be frustrating or offensive. When something comes up that you feel needs to be addressed, don’t silence yourself.^{[8]
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- Ask yourself what you hope to accomplish by addressing something. If you simply want to voice your anger, it may be an issue that isn’t worth pursuing. If you feel you could improve a situation or correct something that is wrong however, you may want to address the issue.
- Sometimes you may recognize that you are overreacting or being overly sensitive. When you feel that’s the case, let the issue go and simply separate yourself from the situation.
- If you feel as though your negative feelings are justified and appropriate, voice your concerns and let the people around you know when you feel something is offensive to you or your sensibilities. Good friends and your family should understand.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Taking Good Care of Yourself

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Focus on your health. Stressors can seem even worse when you don’t feel well, so taking care of your health can help ensure you are in the best position possible to manage difficult emotions as they arise.^{[9]
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- Focus on trying to eat a healthy diet.
- Make sure to exercise regularly.
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Get plenty of rest. Rest is integral to being able to maintain control of your feelings and how you react to negative situations. When you’re tired, it can be far more difficult to judge between objectively appropriate emotions and ones that are caused by being overly sensitive.^{[10]
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- Make sure to get a good night’s sleep.
- If you find yourself drowsy during the day or you have difficult paying attention to things, these are strong signs that you are not getting enough sleep at night.
3
Use snacks to fend off hunger. People who suffer from hyperglycemia are often well aware of how low blood-sugar levels can affect their moods and ability to manage emotions, but these same issues can arise for people that do not have a blood-sugar disorder. Simply being hungry can make it harder to control your emotions.^{[11]
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- Keep snacks handy so you can make sure your mood is not affected by hunger or lowered blood sugar levels.
- Eat regular meals to avoid getting angry or upset at things you may not normally care about due to hunger.
4
Schedule time to decompress. Make sure you give yourself an opportunity to unwind and process your day, without having to worry about whether or not you are being too sensitive. Give yourself space, or stay with people that you are close to and that understand your struggles with high sensitivity.^{[12]
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- Unwinding in a safe environment can help make sure you don’t end up feeling overwhelmed by your emotions.
- Use this time to watch TV, play video games or work on your hobbies. You may just want to relax and look at the stars.
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Consider counseling. If you find that your high sensitivity is affecting your personal relationships or is increasingly difficult to manage, you may want to consider seeing a therapist or counselor. Mental health professionals can help you to learn ways to manage difficult emotions.
- Counselors can help you learn to differentiate between situations that warrant a strong emotional response and times that you may be experiencing higher than appropriate levels of sensitivity.
- Counselors can also help you develop methods of coping with strong emotions or offer a safe environment to talk them out.
- Use the internet to find a therapist that can help you.