How to Be Self Motivated

Co-authored by Sydney Axelrod

Last Updated: February 4, 2023 References Approved

Being self-motivated means being ready for driven, focused discussion and behavior. It also means being sharp and smart enough not to be manipulated and to be open to positive learning. Being in this state of mind is the challenge! Luckily, you have every tool at your disposal to get started right now. Here we go!

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Getting in the Mindset

1
Get positive. It's pretty hard to get anything done when we're stuck on thoughts like, "Ugh, life sucks and it's raining." Thoughts like those make us want to just curl up in our beds until someone physically drags us out. You can't do that! Positive thoughts are the only way you'll even find motivation in the first place.^{[1]
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- If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, stop yourself — you have the power to say "Stop. Enough." and not finish the thought. Divert your attention elsewhere. Especially if you're thinking about your motivation! This task in front of you? It's doable and you have the ability to do it. Any other thinking will keep you from even trying.
- Try reframing things in a positive way. Instead of being upset that it's raining and you can't go outside, try to look at the rain from a positive perspective. For instance, maybe it's been dry and the land really needs the rain. You might think, "Well, now I don't have to water my yard!" or, "This is a good opportunity for me slow down, relax, and stay in and read a book."
2
Get confident. With thinking positive about your world, you have to think positive about you. If you think you're incapable, it'll seriously put a damper on the amount of effort you give this task. Why would you bother doing something you don't think you can do? Exactly. You won't.^{[2]
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- To get started, count your successes. What do you have going for you? What have you done in the past that was awesome? What resources do you have at your disposal? Think of all the things you've achieved in the past. For what reason would you not be able to achieve what you want now?! You've done similar things before.
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3
Get hungry. When Les Brown talks about motivation, he repeats, "You got to be hungry!" What he's saying here is that you have to actually want it. You can't imagine a life without it. Thinking something would be nice, being full of velleities won't get you anywhere. Want it. If you don't really want it, what are you doing trying to motivate yourself?^{[3]
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- Sometimes it involves a little twisting to convince yourself that you want it. Struggling getting to work? Well, is that a path to anything else? If you've been really hankering for a vacation to Hawaii, think about it like that. You really, really want to get to Hawaii -- and working will get you there. It's a lot easier to do something you don't want to do when you have a purpose in mind -- a purpose that you're hungry for.
4
Know setbacks will happen. It's important to go into a behavior (possibly even a lifelong habit) knowing there will be failures along the way. According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, having an all-or-nothing mentality will just leave you frustrated and tempted to give up. It can even make it harder to get started in the first place.^{[4]
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Research source} Tell yourself that there will be times when you fail, and that's okay. You just have to know that you're capable of getting back up and, better yet, that you will.
- Your failures or setbacks have nothing to do with you and everything to do with being human. They happen. Sometimes they'll happen because of you (not every decision can be stellar), but sometimes they'll happen because of circumstances that are beyond your control. Going into this with a level head will benefit you greatly in the end.
- To help get yourself back on track faster, try making a plan ahead of time for what you'll do if a setback does happen.^{[5]
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  Expert Source
  
  Sydney Axelrod
  Certified Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 30 June 2020.}

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Developing Momentum

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Focus on positive goals. It's simple to know what we don't want. It's simple to know what we're afraid of. Often it's harder to pinpoint what exactly would make us happy and what exactly we're striving for. However, to get anything done, we have to start thinking with positive goals, not negative fears. Instead of "I don't want to be poor," a better goal is "I'd like to save X amount of money each month." See how the latter is much, much more doable? And less scary!^{[6]
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- Positive here doesn't mean radiating beams of sunshine. It means something you can do, something in the affirmative. A goal of "not being fat" is demotivating in itself. "Losing ten pounds through diet and exercise" is something that doesn't leave you frowning at the mere thought of it.
2
Keep it small. Having lofty goals is tough. Instead of trying to change your whole life all at once, certified life coach Sydney Axelrod suggests making small shifts that will help you reach your goals. Break each goal down into a series of actionable steps that you can actually achieve.^{[7]
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Research source} Then, keep making progress—you may be surprised how quickly you're able to see a difference in your life.
- If your main goal is "I want to lose 50 pounds," break that down into something like, "I want to lose 2 pounds this week," or "I want to work out 4 or 5 days a week." These will warrant similar results but are easier on the mind.
3
Track your progress. Since the dawn of time, humans have searched for purpose and direction. And this doesn't just have to do with existentialism -- we seek purpose in our jobs, relationships, and even hobbies. If something is unfulfilling, we don't do it. So whether you're losing weight, working overtime, or studying for college, track what you're doing! This will give you drive and show you the positive outcomes of your behavior. It will give you purpose.^{[8]
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- Make sure to track your behaviors and their results. Not only do you need the results to look at and go, "Gee! I am awesome! Look at what I did!" you'll need the results to see what does and does not work for you. If you try three different methods of studying, three different workouts, etc., which one gave you the best results for your effort? You can then streamline and strategize from there.
4
Take breaks. We are not machines (but even machines need breaks). Studies have shown that students who take breaks are more effective at studying.^{[9]
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Research source} And it's common knowledge that our muscles need breaks, too. Breaks aren't for the lazy -- they're for those that know they want to keep going.
- It's up to you to gauge when those breaks need to be. It also depends on what the ultimate end goal is. Not only should there be mini breaks in your day, but there need to be life breaks, too.
5
Do what you enjoy. Most of us have jobs we aren't crazy about, workouts we don't want to do, and a to-do list that we'd pay other people to get completed. These things won't go away, so we have to make them as manageable and as enjoyable as possible. If you don't enjoy it, it may be there forever.
- Think about your job. If it stinks, how can you make it better? Can you ask to work on a specific project that interests you? How can you focus your time on the aspects that you do like?^{[10]
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- If working out is a bummer, find a different one! You don't have to be a marathon runner to burn calories. Go swimming, take a class, or go hiking. If you don't like the exercise you're doing, you won't stick with it.
6
Use rewards. This is a point to be considered carefully. The last thing you want to do is to associate everything with a Snickers bar. However, rewards can be powerful when used sparingly and efficiently. When you've completed something, be sure to do something you deserve!^{[11]
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- You cannot reward yourself for every 5 minutes of the activity you're trying to do. That'll just blow up your concentration and be time-consuming. However, even small goals, when met, should be rewarded. Did you work out every day this week? Great -- take a day to just do some yoga at home and watch a movie.
7
Don't be afraid of making mistakes. In order to find the best way of achieving something, we often have to do things we've never done before. Mistakes will happen if you're growing and getting better. You can X them off your list of possibilities and narrow your path to action down from there. Technically, mistakes are a good thing. At the very least they serve a purpose.^{[12]
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- There's also the fear of looking stupid that keeps a lot of people from trying things. Whether it's raising your hand in class or trying out that new equipment that you're not sure how to use, it's human nature to want to stay in our comfort zone. But for the most effective results, if you truly want to get good grades, to get thin, or to get started in that business, you got to do things you may not want to do.
- On a similar thread, don't let the mistakes drag you down. It's too easy to make one, feel like we're so behind there's no point in trying anymore and just stop. But if you tell yourself it's not an option, it won't happen. Failing doesn't matter -- getting back on the horse is all that does.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Staying on Track

1
Keep motivators around you. This one is pretty straightforward: we need reminders to keep ourselves going. These can be people or things -- whatever might keep you in the right mindset. It's natural to get off-balance and forget where we want to be -- these external motivators offer focus and direction.^{[13]
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Research source} According to certified life coach Sydney Axelrod, affirmations and mantras are other great ways to support and motivate yourself.^{[14]
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Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
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- You can do a whole bunch of small things to get you in gear. Change your desktop background on your computer. Put a post-it note on your wall. A reminder on your phone. Utilize the hubbub around you and put it to your advantage.
- To help yourself remember your affirmations, Axelrod suggests using a visual cue, like a note posted beside your bathroom mirror or a piece of jewelry that reminds you of your goals.^{[15]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Cleveland Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
2
Keep good company. Unfortunately, people can also be demotivating. We have that friend that desperately wants us to eat another piece of cheesecake. That person is not good company. To get going on our path to success, everyone needs cheerleaders along the way! Tell your friends and family what you're trying to stay motivated with. Do you have a few close people in your network that can help you focus and stay driven?
- People can be motivators, too! Tell everyone you know that you're trying to lose 10 pounds. Hopefully they'll offer resources and make the path that much easier, in addition to holding you accountable.
- Having a mentor that's been through the same things you have will be super useful. Do you know someone who's started their own business, lost 50 pounds, or otherwise achieved their dreams? Talk to them! How do they do it? Their perseverance and display of just how doable it is may be what you need to stay energized and motivated.^{[16]
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3
Keep learning. As you go, you're likely to get bored, antsy, or lose attention. To avoid all these pitfalls, keep learning! Spice it up! It's hard to stay motivated on anything long-term. But if the goal keeps changing, if your knowledge keeps morphing, it'll be easier.
- If you're aiming for weight loss, read success stories and blogs. Talk to trainers at your gym. Hit up a nutritionist. Tackle new elements (methods of training, dieting plans, etc.) one at a time. Keeping it fresh will keep your mind fresh.
4
Only compare you to you. The best way to get demotivated and fast is to compare yourself to others. You'll never be them and they'll never be you, so what's the point? Though you've heard it a billion times before, it bears repeating: the only person you should compare yourself to is your previous self. It's only if you've improved that matters; not how anyone else is doing.
- This is part of why tracking progress is so necessary. To know where you are, you need to know where you've been. If you've made progress, you have nothing to be ashamed of, regardless of what the competition is doing.
5
Help others. When you're nearer your goals, odds are you've learned a lot from your work along the way. Use this knowledge to help others! Not only will it motivate you, but it will motivate them. Don't you wish you had someone to help you along your way?
- Have you lost some weight, gotten your business started, or aced that test? Use what you know to help someone else and, better yet, drill it into you. Just like studying out loud and reciting your facts to someone else helps your understanding, helping someone else will keep you focused and feeling good about your progress.
6
Set larger goals. Once you start hitting those small goals, there's nowhere to go but up! Start looking at the big picture -- focus on the end game. No more baby steps; it's time for the big leagues. Talk about motivation! You can practically start making the itinerary for Hawaii now! And you'll fit in that swimsuit, too!
- Make sure to keep the end goal in mind or it'll start to feel far away and unachievable. Why have you gone to all this work anyway? You know exactly why -- and the light is at the end of the tunnel. What will you do when you reach this one? Onto the next, hopefully!

Expert Q&A
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Question

How do I stay motivated?

Sydney Axelrod
Certified Life Coach
Sydney Axelrod is a certified life coach and the owner of Sydney Axelrod LLC, a life coaching business focused on professional and personal development. Through one-on-one coaching, digital courses, and group workshops, Sydney works with clients to discover their purpose, navigate life transitions, and set and accomplish goals. Sydney has over 1,000 hours of relevant coaching certifications and holds a BBA in Marketing and Finance from Emory University.

Sydney Axelrod

Certified Life Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Try not to set huge, unattainable goals for yourself—that can make you feel discouraged, and it can be hard to even get started. If you do have a big dream, try breaking it down into smaller goals that you can actually meet and exceed. That will be more motivating, and it's much more sustainable in the long term.

Warnings

Do NOT worry about the dumb things, because negative thoughts become negative habits, just as positive thoughts become positive habits.

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Being self-motivated does not mean forcefully smiling and trying to please everyone.

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Have courage to confront hurdles if you think you are right.

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Be soft on yourself.

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Do not beat yourself up if you suffer a lapse in your newfound pattern of self-motivation. You will get back on track. Be self-forgiving.

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