How to Avoid Being Seen As Easy

Last Updated: June 13, 2022 References

Being seen as "easy" is similar to being deemed as promiscuous and loose with your morals, especially in the realm of sexuality. You might feel judged for being 'easy' or you might feel like people take advantage of you or don't quite understand you. Your opinion of yourself matters more than what anyone else thinks, but if you want to avoid being seen as easy, you can do it! We've put together a guide to help you gain confidence and control by setting boundaries and standards for yourself, as well as being mindful of your actions and words.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Changing Your Social Interactions

1
Keep your relationships confidential. You may have had a tendency to tell stories about your past relationships and sexual encounters. Don't kiss and tell. Keep the intimacy between you and your partner. Discussing your relationships may give people the impression you are getting around. Talk about things other than sexual interests or details about your love life.
- Imagine if someone were to talk about your intimate moments with strangers. Think about whether or not someone may feel uncomfortable or would like to keep matters of the bedroom private.
2
Avoid dating or hookups with people who are in your circle of friends. Even if you don't talk about your sex life, the other person might. If you want to keep your sex life private, you should date trustworthy characters or people your friends don't know.
- Don't date your coworkers as you may break up and feel uncomfortable in the workplace. They may also spread rumors to get back at you for their insecurity or loss.
3
Consider a change of friends. If your friends are also seen as easy or behave poorly, you may want to surround yourself with people who have less controversial reputations. Find people and befriend those you respect and admire. Surround yourself with positive people who want the best for you.
4
Don't be overly flirtatious with every guy you meet, especially those who are already in a relationship. Nothing is worse than having angry girlfriends spreading your business about. Be friendly and kind, and keep the flirting to single people who are looking for more than a one night stand.
- Avoid initiating conversations with just the opposite gender. Wait to be approached by people, and play hard to get.
- You do not have to be rude or mean to people. You can still be friendly in your interactions, but choose wisely.
5
Don't be afraid to confront gossip. If you hear that someone is saying negative things about you or the things you've done, confront them.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Maggie Mitchell
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 18 October 2021.} Ask them to stop, and let them know you're not that person anymore.
- If they continue bothering you and being rude, take it to an authority like a teacher, counselor, or manager.
6
Be in a committed relationship. Engage in sex only when you're in a committed relationship. Let your partner know of your intentions for the relationship, and be clear about how often or when you want to have sex. You'll know if they're committed if they don't have any conditions to be with you.
- Consider not being in any relationships at all. Try not to have sex for an extended length of time.
- Don't appear needy or desperate in your relationships.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Perceiving Yourself in a Different Manner

1
Recognize that you are being seen as easy. Consider why you are getting the negative attention from men and women. Is the attention stemming from comments you make, the way you look, or how you act around members of the opposite sex? Some may confuse sexual exploits with popularity or love. Sleeping with many people can be damaging to your reputation.
- Ask the why behind your behavior and attitude. What caused you to be this way? What is causing others to see you as easy?
- Use a journal to reflect on what's going on inside your mind. Write down what you're thinking and how you want to change.
2
Change your focus. Make practical goals for yourself. Prioritize first things first. Ask yourself what is most important in your life. Choose to put yourself, your friends, and your family members before any sexual relationships. Do things that will make you happy. Optimistic people tend to live healthier lives.^{[2]
X
Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Focus on getting good grades in school or earning a promotion at work.
- Try picking up a hobby like hiking, playing games, painting, or blogging.
3
Be consistent and strong. Know that it's okay to say no. You've already taken the first step in improving the way other people view you. Do not be a pushover and allow people to walk all over your thoughts and feelings.
- If someone is asking you to do something you'll feel uncomfortable doing, respond that you don't have time or that you've made prior arrangements.^{[3]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
  Largest anti-sexual assault organization in the US providing support and advocacy for survivors
  Go to source}
- If someone will not stop bothering you, avoid meeting or talking to that person completely.
4
Get a makeover. Look in the mirror, and ask yourself what you'd like to see. Do you want to be perceived as professional, classy, smart, or refined? Dress for the role or job you want, and consider the legacy you'd like to leave. Your clothes shouldn't be too tight, short, or revealing. It's not a crime to cover up. Wear whatever you're comfortable, confident, and feeling good about, but ensure that you're out to protect yourself from any future harmful behaviors.
- Avoid wearing risque clothing such as fishnets, thigh-high boots, or things that promote sexual innuendos.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Seeking Professional Help

1
Talk to a professional if you have a history of abuse. Confront the skeletons in your closet. Many people act out sexually after abuse from their past. You may be surprised to find out how many of your behaviors are typical. You could learn steps to avoid filling emotional voids with sex.
- Recognize if you have signs of emotional abuse like depression, anxiety, isolated behavior, low self-esteem, or addiction to drugs or alcohol.^{[4]
  X
  Research source}
- Find escape from your physical abuser by calling 911 if it is an emergency.
- Find legal help or consider getting a restraining order if necessary.
2
Stay away from drugs and alcohol. These substances can alter areas in your brain that are critical to judgement, decision-making, and behavior control.^{[5]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Institute on Drug Abuse
Agency in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services devoted to researching drug and drug abuse and educating the public
Go to source} Alcohol and drug abuse can result in a deterioration in health, interpersonal relationships, and job satisfaction.^{[6]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Institute on Drug Abuse
Agency in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services devoted to researching drug and drug abuse and educating the public
Go to source}
3
Find accountability. Rely on your close, non-judgmental friends. Ask your parents to be involved with your new self. Join a group at a school or church with like-minded people.^{[7]
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Research source} Find people who want the best for you and will remain committed to you.
4
Start fresh. Move to another school, job, or town. Try getting away from where you were, and find someplace where you can become who you want to be. People will begin to accept you for who you were meant to be.
- Take a long trip, or travel abroad for a year or two. A time away may be the fresh start you need to mature and reflect.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I avoid being a pushover?

Maggie Mitchell
Life Coach
Maggie Mitchell is a Life Coach and the Owner of InnerCoastal Coaching in Raleigh, North Carolina. With more than 15 years of experience, she specializes in helping individuals with communication, anxiety, stress, problem-solving, decision making, meditation, and healthy boundaries. Maggie holds an MS in Counseling Psychology from Gannon University and received her Executive Coach Certificate from The International Coaching Community (ICC).

Maggie Mitchell

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Always be your own time keeper by setting limits and controlling your schedule! You sometimes may have to say yes, but you should control the how and when.