How to Attract an ESTP

Last Updated: May 27, 2021

An ESTP on the Myers Briggs personality indicator refers to a person who is characterized by extraversion (E), sensory matters (S), thought (T), and perception (P). They like to take risks and live in the moment and as a result can be a lot of fun in relationships. That being said, they do not like to plan for the future and can have difficulty discussing their emotions. If you would like to attract an ESTP, then you should impress them by taking part in fun activities together. Similarly, you should avoid trying to control their behaviour or put too much weight on emotional communication.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Impressing an ESTP

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Indulge in their love of action. People with an ESTP personality like action and adventure. They don’t want to spend their time thinking about the theoretical and would much rather have fun in the moment.^{[1]
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- For example, a perfect date for an ESTP would be to go salsa dancing or sky-diving. This will demonstrate that you also enjoy taking risks and having fun and will make you more attractive to an ESTP.
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Encourage positive self-image in ESTPs. ESTPs like to receive positive feedback and recognition of their strengths. If you want an ESTP to like you, be sure to compliment them and let them know that you appreciate their personality. This will make them feel good about themselves, and they will want to continue spending time with you.

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Provide them with material comforts. The sensing part of the ESTP personality makes them very perceptive of their surroundings. This can often translate into liking personal style and material comforts. If you are trying to impress an ESTP, you should take them to a nice restaurant and be sure to dress to impress. An ESTP will notice and appreciate these small details.^{[2]
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Method 2

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Respecting Their Boundaries

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Talk about emotions when it feels natural. ESTPs do not like to talk about their emotions and they often find emotional conversations awkward. If you want to attract an ESTP, you should wait until your relationship has developed before broaching sensitive or emotional topics. ESTPs are more apt to express their feelings with actions instead of words.^{[3]
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- For example, an ESTP will demonstrate their feelings through nice gestures rather than overt communication.
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Don’t read too much into intimate moments. ESTPs can make excellent sexual partners because they approach intimacy in a fun way and don’t overthink things. If you are the type of person who wants sexual intimacy to transfer into emotional intimacy, then an ESTP may not be the best match for you. Often they will separate sex from feelings of love and emotional attachment.^{[4]
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Don’t try to control their behaviour. ESTPs live in the moment and love to take risks. They want to find a partner who will give them the space they need to continue to have adventure in their lives. If you try to limit or control their behaviour, they may feel stifled.^{[5]
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- An ESTP will be attracted to someone who gives them the freedom to pursue excitement.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Dating an ESTP

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Focus on the present. ESTP personality types like to live in the moment. They are not interested in spending time talking about the future or making future plans. Avoid having conversations about where the relationship is headed and instead, enjoy the moment.^{[6]
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Take part in their social life. ESTPs are extroverts and enjoy spending time with large groups of people. They will often have a diverse and large group of friends. Take part in their social life by attending parties together and try to get to know their friends. They will likely find this attractive because it demonstrates that you can go with the flow.^{[7]
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Keep them interested. Because ESTPs are adventurous risk-takers who live in the moment, they are consistently looking for new experiences. As a result, you may need to work to keep them interested in you and your relationship. Introduce new things to keep them interested and don’t get stuck in boring relationship routines.^{[8]
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- Spice things up with travel, taking on new hobbies, or trying a new sexual position.
- Alternatively, you could change your hair-do or style to keep things fresh.
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Develop a long-term relationship with an ESTP. ESTPs can engage in long-term and fulfilling relationships. When they are happy in their relationships, they will remain loyal and committed. That being said, they enjoy living in the moment so it can be difficult to plan your future together. If you are the type of person who likes to plan, then you should continue to do this internally without stressing out your ESTP partner.^{[9]
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