How to Be an Extrovert

Have you ever wanted to be the social butterfly at a party and feel comfortable meeting a lot of new people? Even if you normally keep to yourself and act introverted, there are a lot of things you can do to develop an extroverted mindset and socialize even more. We’ll start with some tips about opening up during conversations and move on to ways you can be more outgoing!

1

Put away your phone.

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    Focus on socializing rather than looking at a screen. Checking your phone while you’re around other people can make you feel closed off and disinterested. Instead, set your phone on silent and keep it in your pocket or purse so you don’t get distracted by it. Stay fully engaged with the people you’re with, or branch out and introduce yourself to someone new if you’re somewhere alone.[1]
    • If you’re still really tempted to check your phone, leave it in your vehicle or ask a friend to hold it for you.
    • You might feel a little uncomfortable at first since we’re so used to looking at our phones, but try your hardest and it will eventually feel easier.
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2

Stand in the middle of the room.

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    Put yourself out there to get involved in conversations. Standing near walls or the edges of a room can make it seem like you’re closed off from conversations. Instead, move closer to the center of the room where other people are gathering. Try to stick near groups of people that you’re interested in talking to so you’re able to get involved in their conversations.[2]
    • Move around the room frequently so you can interact with the most people.
    • Try to hold your head up, keep your shoulders back, and smile. Walking around with open, friendly posture not only makes you look approachable, but helps you feel friendlier and more approachable, too.[3]
    • If you're feeling nervous, try visualizing yourself smiling and approaching someone before you actually do it.[4]
3

Stay enthusiastic and energetic.

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    Show your excitement to help you be more likable. When you interact with someone, be friendly and show genuine interest in them to come across as more energetic. Vary the tone of your voice when you talk to keep the conversation engaging. Maintain a positive attitude and the other person will usually respond the same way.[5]
    • Try listening to some fast-paced pump-up music before putting yourself in social situations to help boost your energy levels.
    • People have different social energies, so make sure you adapt to them. For example, if someone doesn’t seem as energetic, stay positive but act a little more relaxed around them.
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4

Speak up.

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    Assert yourself so you can join in the conversation. Rather than keeping things to yourself or questioning what you want to say, insert yourself into the conversation. Raise your voice slightly so other people can hear what you’re saying.[6] Try to avoid using filler words, like “um,” “uh,” or “I guess” since it might make you seem low energy and less excited to be a part of the conversation.[7]
    • If you have a hard time speaking up, try talking with a loud voice whenever you have the chance, like when you’re home by yourself or driving. That way, it’ll be easier to make your voice heard when you’re with a group of people.
5

Share personal interests.

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    Talk about the things you like so people get to know you better. Don’t let the other person carry the conversation and speak over you. Instead, try to balance the conversation by sharing some of your own interests. After bringing them up, ask the other person what they’re interested in too. Try to find something you have in common with the other person so you can carry on a deeper conversation and get to know them better.[8]
    • For example, if someone asks you how your weekend was, avoid saying things like, “It was good,” or “Fine.” Instead, say something such as, “It was great! I finished watching Game of Thrones and I really loved it. Have you seen it?”
    • If the person isn’t interested in the things you bring up, go back to having small talk before bringing up something else they might relate to.
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6

Express your opinions.

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    You’ll feel more satisfied if you feel like your voice is being heard. As an introvert, it can be really easy to stay quiet even if you disagree with something.[9] Instead, mention how you personally feel about it with a firm voice without shutting down other people’s opinions. Ask the person questions about why they feel the way that they do and listen to their opinions as well.[10]
7

Listen actively to others.

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    Give others your full attention so they involve you in more conversations. As other people are talking, lean in closer to them and react to what they’re saying, such as nodding when you agree with something. Maintain your eye contact with the speaker and really think about what they’re saying. Avoid daydreaming or trying to think of the next thing you want to say since it distracts you from the points the other person is trying to make.[11]
    • When they finish talking, ask them some open-ended questions to clarify their points and learn more about what they’re saying. For example, you could ask, “How did that make you feel?”
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8

Say yes to more invitations.

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    Force yourself into new social situations you can enjoy with others. Set a time-frame, such as 1 week or 1 month, where you agree to do most of the things you’re asked to do. If someone asks if you want to meet up or come to a party, accept the invitation even if it’s not something you’d regularly get involved with. Make the best of the situation by socializing with others and opening yourself up to the new experience. You might just make new friends and discover a new hobby you really love.[12]
    • Avoid saying yes to things that are illegal or could put you in danger.
9

Try out new experiences.

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    Expose yourself to things you normally wouldn’t do to practice being outgoing. It’s really easy to do things that make you feel comfortable, but you might be missing out on something you really love. Think about the things you want to achieve and keep your eyes open for new opportunities that are available to you. Make it a point to step out of your comfort zone frequently so you can meet new people and discover new passions.[13]
    • Look for places or experiences where people have similar interests as you. For example, try finding a book club if you love reading or attending a yoga class if you’re into fitness.
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10

Set specific extroverted goals.

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    Come up with some actionable steps you can take so you have a plan. If you only say “I’m going to be more outgoing,” you might get confused about what to do and feel overwhelmed. Instead, write down a list of specific actions you can take in your life that put you out of your comfort zone. Aim to do at least 1 extroverted thing every day. Some actions you could take include:[14] [15]
    • Talking to 1 new person every day
    • Engaging in conversation when someone talks to you
    • Going out to lunch with a new person once a week

Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How can you force yourself to be an extrovert?
    Kim Chronister, PsyD
    Kim Chronister, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Kim Chronister is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in helping people struggling with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister has contributed to and appeared on Access Hollywood, Investigation Discovery, and NBC News. She is the author of “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality.” She holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Alliant International University.
    Kim Chronister, PsyD
    Kim Chronister, PsyD
    Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Write down exactly what you want to get out of being more open and extroverted. Make small goals for this task, ranging from most anxiety-provoking to the least. Take small steps toward these goals—these steps can lead to larger gestures.
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Warnings

  • Give yourself some downtime between seeing other people so you have a chance to recharge and don’t develop social fatigue.[18]
    ⧼thumbs_response⧽
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References

  1. ↑ https://www.business.com/articles/15-tips-to-become-an-extrovert/
  2. ↑ https://www.business.com/articles/15-tips-to-become-an-extrovert/
  3. ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 28 July 2021.
  4. ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 28 July 2021.
  5. ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/social-energy/
  6. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/deborahljacobs/2012/07/24/how-to-turn-an-introvert-into-an-extrovert-or-vice-versa/?sh=54b3e0b51ba3
  7. ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/social-energy/
  8. ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/introverts-becoming-extroverted/
  9. ↑ https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424127887324144304578621951399427408
  1. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/averyblank/2018/07/03/seven-ways-leaders-express-their-opinion-without-being-opinionated/?sh=2111ad885ae7
  2. ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/introverts-becoming-extroverted/
  3. ↑ https://www.business.com/articles/15-tips-to-become-an-extrovert/
  4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201604/can-introvert-ever-change
  5. ↑ https://socialself.com/blog/introverts-becoming-extroverted/
  6. ↑ Kim Chronister, PsyD. Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 28 July 2021.
  7. ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/deborahljacobs/2012/07/24/how-to-turn-an-introvert-into-an-extrovert-or-vice-versa/?sh=54b3e0b51ba3
  8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201902/can-becoming-extravert-make-introvert-happier
  9. ↑ https://www.business.com/articles/15-tips-to-become-an-extrovert/

About This Article

Kim Chronister, PsyD
Co-authored by:
Kim Chronister, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
This article was co-authored by Kim Chronister, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Dr. Kim Chronister is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in helping people struggling with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister has contributed to and appeared on Access Hollywood, Investigation Discovery, and NBC News. She is the author of “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality.” She holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Alliant International University. This article has been viewed 309,659 times.
44 votes - 62%
Co-authors: 25
Updated: June 8, 2022
Views: 309,659
Categories: Extraversion and Introversion
Article SummaryX

You can be an extrovert by watching extroverts around you and mimicking the ways they act and talk. Once you have an idea of what to do, try dedicating 15 minutes a day to being extroverted. For example, you can start with something small, like knocking on your neighbor’s door and introducing yourself, and build up to making conversation with a stranger at the grocery store. Keep in mind that it’s easier to talk to people when you already get along with them, so try joining a class or group of like-minded people where you can socialize. Additionally, try to say yes to invitations, even if they’re scary, since you may end up having more fun than you anticipate! To learn how to assert yourself in conversations, scroll down!

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