How to Attract Guys Without Talking to Them

Co-authored by Lisa Shield and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: March 9, 2023 References

It's normal to feel nervous when talking to guys, especially if you're trying to flirt. Fortunately, it's possible to attract guys to you without even talking to them! To get their attention, wear clothes, makeup, and a hairstyle that make you feel great. Then, use body language to show guys that you're interested in being approached. Finally, draw them to you with subtle behaviors.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Catching Their Eye

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Wear red to catch their attention. The color red is an emotional trigger that can draw all eyes to you. Additionally, men typically perceive the color red as being sexy. When you're hoping to attract a man's attention, pick an outfit that incorporates the color red.^{[1]
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- For instance, you might wear a red dress, a red blazer, or a red top or shirt.
- You could also wear a pop of red, such as a scarf or tie.
2
Choose an outfit that makes you feel confident. When you feel confident, you seem more attractive, which can attract guys. Wear clothing that fits you well and helps you look your best. This can help you attract attention without doing anything.^{[2]
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- Try on all of your clothes in your closet to figure out which outfits look best on you. Then, designate these clothes for when you're hoping to get a guy to talk to you.
Tip: If you identify as female, showing off your curves can help draw a guy's attention. This might include a hint of cleavage, bottoms that show your hips, or pants that enhance your rear. Subconsciously, guys notice your curves and it makes them interested in you.

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3
Show off your neck and shoulders for subtle sex appeal. Showing off skin is tricky because flashing too much skin can be a turn off to guys. Revealing your neck and shoulders grabs their attention because your skin is bare in a nonsexual way. This makes them want to see more. Wear a low cut top, sleeveless or off-the-shoulder top, or tank top to make guys want more of you.^{[3]
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- For example, you might wear an off the shoulder top that covers your cleavage but bares your entire shoulder and neck area. As another option, wear a tank top that has thin straps.
- You might not be able to do this while you're at school, and that's okay! Always follow the rules so you don't get in trouble.
4
Create a natural makeup look if you wear it. You don't need to wear makeup to get a guy's attention, so don't feel pressured to use it. If you do enjoy makeup, use it to enhance your natural beauty but don't try out bold looks when you're trying to get a guy's attention. Most guys say they like a natural makeup look, so keeping your makeup subtle may help you attract a guy.^{[4]
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- For instance, you might wear foundation, concealer, powder, blush, subtle eyeshadow, eyeliner on your top eyelashes, mascara on your top eyelashes, and a nude or berry lipstick.
- If you're going to school, only wear makeup if it's allowed in your school's dress code.
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Choose a flattering hairstyle that makes you feel confident. Styling your hair provides a frame for your face and can bring your whole look together. Pick a hairstyle that flatters your face shape, works well with your hair texture, and is easy for you to keep up. Then, style your hair when you're going to be around guys you hope to attract.^{[5]
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- Ask your hairstylist how to keep up your hairstyle.
- Look at pictures in magazines and online to get inspiration for your hairstyle.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Using Body Language

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Make eye contact then look away. When you meet his eyes, you're showing him that you noticed him. Hold his gaze for 1-3 seconds, then glance away. This is a subtle way to flirt without speaking.^{[6]
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Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021}^{[7]
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- Don't make eye contact for longer than 1-3 seconds because he might feel like you're staring.
- If making eye contact is hard for you, practice by staring at your own eyes in the mirror. Then, make eye contact with people you care about, like friends and relatives. It'll get easier with practice!
2
Smile and laugh so you seem attractive and fun. Smiling brightens up your features so you look more attractive, and laughing makes you look like you're having a great time.^{[8]
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Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021} This can make a guy more interested in getting to know you. Keep a smile on your face while you're out trying to meet guys. Additionally, find reasons to laugh, such as the conversation you're having or something that's happening around you.^{[9]
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- If you're at school, try to look like you're always having fun at lunch or between classes. For instance, tell funny stories with your friends or talk about your favorite TV shows.
- Practice smiling and laughing to make it easier for you to do it when you're trying to get a guy's attention.
3
Play with your hair so you look flirtatious. Twirling, mussing, or flipping your hair can draw a guy's eyes to you.^{[10]
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Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021} Additionally, it shows him that you're feeling flirty, which can make him feel comfortable approaching you. When you see a guy who interests you, casually flip your hair over your shoulder, twirl it around your finger, or run your fingers through it.^{[11]
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- Film yourself playing with your hair so you can see what looks most attractive.
- You don't need to play with your hair all of the time. In fact, that might make you seem nervous. Just do it for about 5-10 seconds to subtly flirt.
4
Wink at him to show him you're interested. When you see a guy that interests you, signal to him that you're open to being approached by winking at him. If you're close to each other, catch his attention and wink. Otherwise, walk past him and give him a quick wink.^{[12]
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- For instance, let's say you're getting a drink at a bar and see a hot guy a few seats down. You could lean against the bar and give him a wink to show him you're interested in talking.
- If you're in school, you might cross paths with him in the hallway and give him a wink.
Tip: Try a slow wink to make it clear that you're being flirty. When he looks at you, meet his eyes and slowly wink at him. This shows him that you're intentionally flirting.
5
Touch yourself to make him imagine touching you. When you know a guy may be looking, subtly touch your hip, play with your necklace, or stroke your arm. This will catch a guys attention and make him imagine touching you, which can make him approach you.^{[13]
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- Don't be super obvious by touching your breasts or bum. Similarly, don't rub yourself, which might look weird. Instead, lightly touch yourself for 2-3 seconds or run your fingers along your skin.
6
Brush up against him as you pass him to break the touch barrier. Touching is a great way to flirt with a guy, including casual touches. When you're trying to attract a guy without talking to him, “accidentally” grazing against him is a great way to make contact. Walk past him and lightly brush your body against him.^{[14]
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- For instance, brush past him as you walk down the hallway at school or towards the counter at a coffee shop.
- As another option, you could choose the seat behind or next to him. Then, lightly touch him as you sit down.
- Since you don't want to talk to him, it's best not to bump into him too hard.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Drawing Him to You

1
Angle your body away from the friend you're talking to. Being out with friends can get a guy's attention because it makes you appear popular. However, it can also make it hard for guys to approach you. To show guys you're open to being approached, face your body away from your friend as you talk.^{[15]
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- For example, let's say you and your friend are at a party. While you're chatting, face the room instead of each other. This way guys will feel comfortable walking up to you.
2
Cross and uncross your legs every 2 minutes while you're sitting. Guys are often attracted to legs because they make them think of touching you sexually. Moving your legs can catch a guy's attention, so crossing and uncrossing your legs often can attract guys to you. Angle your body so that your legs are facing the room. Then, slowly cross and uncross your legs about every 2 minutes.^{[16]
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- This works best if you're sitting on a high stool, but you can also do it in a regular chair.
Tip: Dangling your shoe on the end of your toe can also help you get a guy to come talk to you. This shows him you're feeling comfortable and aren't afraid of looking a little undone.
3
Stay off your phone while you're trying to attract guys. You might want to pull out your phone so you look busy, but this can backfire. If you're looking down at your phone, it's hard for guys to approach you. Put your phone away so they know you're open to being approached.^{[17]
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- It's okay to check your phone occasionally. However, don't focus all of your attention on your phone.
4
Act like you need help with something to trigger his protective instincts. Many guys enjoy feeling helpful, so they're likely to offer assistance if you seem to need help. If the situation allows, create a minor problem that you need help with. Then, see if a guy will come to help.^{[18]
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- For instance, let's say you're at a party. You might act like you're having trouble opening your drink.
- Similarly, you could act like you're having trouble reaching a high object.
- At school, you might act like you need help with an assignment.
- Don't feel like you have to do this if you don't feel comfortable acting like you need help when you don't. Guys will be just as into you!

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I attract my crush without talking to him?

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.

Lisa Shield

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

If you're at a cafe, you could grab a straw and toss the wrapper in his direction. That's a definite way to get his attention!
Question

How do you get a guy's attention at the bar?

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.

Lisa Shield

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

You could always run your fingers through your hair, lean over the bar, or look at him over your shoulder on your way to the bathroom.
Question

How do I get a guy to notice me without being obvious?

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.

Lisa Shield

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Even just flashing a quick smile or making eye contact with the person can show you're interested in them.