How to Attract Girls Without Being Annoying

Last Updated: October 6, 2021 References

A lot of guys try to attract girls by showing off. However, girls aren’t always attracted to the men with the biggest muscles, the most money or the nicest cars. In fact, girls are often annoyed by men who try impress them. What’s really important to girls is the way you treat them.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Having an Attractive Personality

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Be comfortable with yourself. Realize that you don’t need a girl to make you happy. Women are annoyed by men who act too needy. If you enjoy your own company, she will too. Spend some time finding out all the awesome traits of your personality so you know what you have to offer.^{[1]
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- You may have a really goofy sense of humor.
- You may be very kind and supportive.
- You may be very adventurous.
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Be positive. Learn to enjoy life no matter what goes wrong.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Look on the bright side of everything. Negativity is contagious. If you’re always thinking negative thoughts, you’ll bring down everyone’s mood. Develop an infectious positive attitude that she’ll want to be around.
- You can read self help books from authors like Deepak Chopra to learn to be in a happy state of mind.
- Practice Gratitude. Every day, remind yourself of the things that you’re grateful for.^{[3]
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Be social. Try to make solid connections with all the people in your life. Have a good relationship with your family and make as many friends as you can. Show a genuine interest in connecting with people. Develop a social circle that she’ll want to be part of.
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Be fun. Girls like guys who can show them a good time and introduce them to new experiences. Find some things that you really enjoy doing and always be ready to try new things.
- Take a dance class.
- Sample exotic cuisine.
- Go to museums and learn about art.
- Go bungee jumping.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Paying Attention to Her

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Make eye contact. When you’re talking to a girl, look her in the eye so that she knows that she has your attention. Girls hate when men can’t concentrate on them long enough to build a connection.^{[4]
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- Don’t try to split your attention. You can’t talk to her and watch the game at the same time. Choose one or the other.
- Be sure to look away every once in awhile so you don’t make her feel uncomfortable.
- Don’t stare at other girls when you’re with her.
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Listen to her. Don’t ramble on and on about yourself. Show interest in what she has to say. Everyone loves to talk and there’s nothing more annoying than a guy who hijacks a conversation.
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Notice things about her. Girls put in a lot of effort to look good and they want their hard work to be acknowledged. Compliment specific things you like about her outfit.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Let her know that you dig her fashion sense.^{[6]
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- Tell her you like her new hairstyle.
- Compliment her make up.
- Let her know you like how her shoes go with her dress.
- Tell her you think her perfume is intoxicating.
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Be in the moment. You can’t give a girl your full attention if your mind is somewhere else. She’ll be able to tell if you’re not present. Try not to focus on the other things going on in your life when you’re around a girl you like.
- Take a few minutes to meditate to clear your mind before you talk to a girl.
- Realize that worry doesn’t accomplish anything. Focus on having a good time.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Respecting Her

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Don’t be chauvinistic. Girls are annoyed by guys who talk down to them. Don’t make comments that could be considered derogatory towards women or anyone else for that matter. If she feels like you objectify women, she definitely won’t want to spend time with you.
- Don’t tell any jokes that could be construed as sexist or racist.
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Leave the past in the past. Don’t talk about your ex all the time. Girls hate when you can’t stop babbling about your past relationships. She’ll think you still have feelings for your ex. No woman wants to be your rebound girlfriend.
- At some point, she may want to know about your former relationships to see what kind of guy you are, but let the conversation come up naturally.
- If you are still hung up on your ex, you should take some time to recover before you try meeting new women.
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Give her space. Don’t be possessive. Girls get really annoyed when you act like they’re your property. She’ll also feel like you’re insecure if you feel the need to demonstrate ownership of her everywhere the two of you go. Girls don’t like being treated like trophies.^{[7]
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- Abstain from public displays of affection to show other guys she’s with you.
- Don’t try to stop her from talking to other guys.
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Be a gentleman. Always be polite and avoid being crass. Try not to say or do anything that she could be offended by. If you gross her out, she certainly won’t be attracted to you and she may even be embarrassed to be around you in public.
- Hold the door open for her.
- Don’t curse or swear.
- Be kind to service staff.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Showing Her You’re Interested

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Smile at her. Smile to let her know that you’re having a good time. Make sure your smile is genuine. She’ll be able to tell if you’re faking it. A smile is an international sign that we like the person we’re talking to.
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Be somewhat sober. Girls don’t like being hit on by guys who smell like the inside of a keg. While a few drinks may help you loosen up, too many will make you look sloppy. If you’re slurring your words and stumbling all over the place, she’ll know you’re too drunk to focus on her.
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Take it slow. Don’t invade her space by trying to touch her before you build a connection with her. She’ll think you’re sleazy and only after one thing. Get to know her and let things develop naturally. Let her know you respect her boundaries.
- Don’t kiss a girl on the cheek when you first meet her. Try shaking her hand.
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Let her know you’re attracted to her. Be direct and tell her that you really enjoy hanging out with her.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Be sure she knows you like her for her personality. Keep your eyes on her face while you’re telling her you like her and try not to check out her body in an obvious way.^{[9]
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- Refrain from using sexual innuendos.
- Don’t be overly sexual or treat her like a piece of meat.
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Ask for her number. After you have a connection with a girl, politely ask for her number.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} By asking for her number, you’re showing her that you’d like to talk to her again and giving her a chance to do the same by giving it to you.
- Don’t give her your number or she’ll think you’re afraid to put yourself out there.
- Don’t be pushy. If she doesn’t want to give you her number, move on. She’ll find you annoying if you try to force her to give it to you.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I get my crush's attention without being annoying?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try giving your crush a compliment every so often to let them know you're interested. Then start having casual conversations and getting to know each other better.

Warnings

Try not to talk about topics like politics and religion that could lead to an argument.

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Girls don’t like being called pet names like “baby” or “honey” when you first meet them.

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Don’t brag. Let her find out the great things about you for herself.

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