What to do when your newborn doesn’t wake up on their own to start the day or be fed

If you’ve ever had someone tell you “Never wake a sleeping baby,” you may wonder why this article’s even being written. The reality is that there are multiple reasons you might have to rouse your little bundle of joy, even if they’re not too thrilled with the idea. When it comes to things like feedings or getting your newborn on a more consistent sleep schedule, you can do plenty of things to gently coax them into the waking world. Keep reading for these tips and more about how to handle a stubbornly sleepy baby.

Things You Should Know

  • Wake your baby up gently by stroking their feet and neck, rubbing their back, and talking or singing to them softly.
  • Undress your baby or change their diaper. The motion and cool air will help them wake up.
  • Place your baby on your bare chest and undress them so that they get skin-to-skin contact. This is especially helpful for feeding.
  • Talk to your pediatrician immediately if your baby is particularly hard to wake up even after trying all of these methods, or if they’re sleeping more than normal.
Section 1 of 5:

Best Ways to Wake a Newborn

  1. 1
    Wake them up with gentle touches. Gently massage their back in soothing, circular motions and stroke their feet and hands. Give them a little tickle on the bottom of their feet or softly rub their cheek. Do what feels natural to you and keep your touches light and soft.[1]
  2. 2
    Talk or sing to them softly. Slowly coax them into the waking world with your voice. Sing or hum a sweet little tune, or just start talking to them in a low, soothing voice. Pair this with some gentle touches, and your newborn may be a bit less averse to the idea of having to wake up.[2]
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  3. 3
    Undress your baby. While probably not nearly as pleasant as being woken up with a nice back rub, your baby is more likely to wake up if you start undressing them. Being moved around and having their toasty warm clothes taken off might not be their ideal wake-up call, but it’s certainly effective.[3]
  4. 4
    Lay them on your chest for some skin-to-skin contact. This is especially helpful if you’re waking your baby up to feed them. Skin-to-skin contact has been shown to release hormones and trigger instincts in your baby that make feeding easier and more natural.[4] Your little one is likely to instinctively move to your breast to start feeding when placed in this position.[5]
  5. 5
    Change their diaper, even if they don’t need it. If undressing your baby doesn’t do the trick, giving them a quick change is another option. Even if their diaper is clean, just going through the motions can help them wake up. If they do happen to need a change, then consider that a double win of sorts.[6]
  6. 6
    Gently lift your baby and move them around a bit. Position your baby so that their head is on your knees and their feet are near your stomach. Gently support them and raise them into a sitting position, almost like you’re having them do a sit-up. Repeat this motion a few times to help coax them awake.[7]
  7. 7
    Run your newborn a warm bath if all else fails. Bathing your infant is certainly more of a “drastic” means of waking them up, so use it sparingly and only for the times when there’s really no other option. For example, if they’re long overdue for a feeding, and you just can’t seem to get them to wake up, get them into some warm bathwater to help.[8]
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Section 2 of 5:

Feeding a Sleepy Baby

  1. 1
    Undress your baby and rub their back if they start to drift off. When it comes to newborns, it’s pretty normal for your baby to doze off while nursing or being fed, especially if their tummy is feeling full. Keep them awake with gentle touches, such as rubbing their back or tickling their feet. On top of that, movement and cool air from being undressed will help to stop them from falling back asleep.[9]
    • Being too hot can make a baby sleepy, so unwrap any blankets from around them, undress them, and keep the room at around 64ºF (18ºC).[10]
  2. 2
    Switch breasts each time your baby’s sucking slows down. Wake them by lifting them away from you, then place them back at your other breast to continue nursing. Keep switching them from side to side if they continue to doze off. Burp them in between to help them stay awake.[11]
  3. 3
    Gently squeeze or massage your breast to get more milk out. When you notice your baby’s sucking slowing down or stopping completely, squeeze your breast gently to get more milk to flow out. This will encourage them to actively swallow and continue nursing.[12]
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Section 3 of 5:

Reasons to Rouse Your Newborn

  1. 1
    To help them gain weight with regular feedings. It’s typical for most newborns to lose weight in the first few days after they’re born. They’ll usually gain this weight back within 1 or 2 weeks, but until then, it’s important that you breastfeed or bottlefeed them regularly. If your baby isn’t waking up by themselves to make this demand, you might have to do the rousing yourself.[13]
    • Most newborns need 8 to 12 feedings every day – about one feeding every 2–3 hours for breastfed babies and every 3–4 hours for babies drinking formula.[14]
  2. 2
    To gradually reverse their days and nights. A lot of babies are born with their days and nights mixed up. They usually end up sorting this out by themselves by about 8 weeks, but you can certainly provide some assistance. Keep their nap times to around 2 hours and keep them up for at least an hour before letting them take their next nap.[15]
    • Some things you can do to keep your baby awake during the day include exposing them to natural sunlight, playing with them, and giving them a bath.
  3. 3
    To teach them how to soothe themselves to fall back asleep. Using something called the “wake-and-sleep” technique teaches your baby how to self-soothe and fall back asleep with less help on your part. To do this, lightly rouse them from sleep by tickling their neck or feet until their eyes drowsily open. After this, just let them fall back asleep on their own. In those few seconds where they were awake, they were able to soothe themself back to sleep.[16]
    • Your goal here isn’t to rouse them fully, but rather bring them to more of a sleepy state of consciousness.
    • There may be times when your baby doesn’t go back to sleep on their own, but that’s perfectly okay. If this happens, just go about your normal routine for getting them to sleep.
    • This is a good technique to use to help get your baby to start sleeping through the night.
    • Start using the wake-and-sleep technique as early as the day your baby’s born.
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Section 4 of 5:

How much sleep should a newborn get?

  1. Most newborns sleep for a total of 16 hours a day. This is broken up into about 8 or 9 hours at night and 8 hours during the day. However, these 8 hours are usually broken up into shorter periods of sleep – around 1 to 2 hours. Babies typically won’t start sleeping through the night (6 to 8 hours) until they’re around 3 months old, or until they weigh 12-13 pounds (5.4-5.9 kg).[17]
    • Naturally, as babies grow older, they start spending more time awake. However, even when babies are as old as 2 years old, they’ll still typically sleep about 13 hours a day.
    • Contact your pediatrician immediately if you have any concerns about your baby’s sleep patterns. Even if it’s nothing, it’s best to check.
    • If your baby is particularly hard to wake up or if they’re sleeping more than normal, talk to your pediatrician immediately.
Section 5 of 5:

Why is it so hard to wake up my baby?

  1. 1
    Your infant may be having trouble getting on a good sleep schedule. When your baby comes into the world, they’re not yet adjusted to sleeping and waking up at regular times. As you both try and find a schedule that works, there may be times when your little one sleeps for longer and is harder to wake up.[18]
  2. 2
    They’re in deep sleep when you try to wake them. The average sleep cycle for a newborn lasts for about 50-60 minutes. Half of this time is spent in light sleep, and the other half is spent in deep sleep. When your baby is in deep sleep, they don’t move much, and it’s more difficult to wake them up.[19]
  3. 3
    Your newborn is recovering from birth. Being born and placed into a completely new environment is no easy feat. For the first few days, your baby may sleep more and be harder to wake up simply because they’re recuperating from all of the sudden changes. Even after you leave the hospital, they still might need a few wake-up calls every now and then.[20]
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Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How do I start a sleep routine with my baby?
    Julie Wright, MFT
    Julie Wright, MFT
    Parenting & Baby Sleep Specialist
    Julie Wright is a Marriage and Family Therapist and the co-founder of The Happy Sleeper, which offers sleep consulting and online baby sleep classes. Julie is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in babies, children, and their parents, and the co-author of two best selling parenting books (The Happy Sleeper and Now Say This) published by Penguin Random House. She created the popular Wright Mommy, Daddy and Me program in Los Angeles, California, which provides support and learning for new parents. Julie's work has been mentioned in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and NPR. Julie received her training at the Cedars Sinai Early Childhood Center.
    Julie Wright, MFT
    Parenting & Baby Sleep Specialist
    Expert Answer
    Start helping your baby wind down a full hour before their bedtime—this means that you're beginning to send cues to your child's internal clock and physiology that the sun is starting to set and it's time to wind down. This can involve things like turning off bright lights and closing the blinds. Then, move into the child's room and engage in pleasurable activities like reading, singing, and child-led playtime. End the routine with a little chat—for young babies, this could be saying "good night" to different things in the room. Write down this routine and follow it step-by-step each night. In addition to a regular bedtime, it'll really help them fall asleep easily!
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Warnings

  • If your baby is particularly hard to wake up or if they’re sleeping more than normal, call your doctor immediately.
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  • Talk to your pediatrician about any concerns you may have about your baby, even if you suspect it’s nothing.
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  • Sleeping too deeply or for a long period of time puts a newborn at a greater risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).[21]
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About This Article

wikiHow Staff
Co-authored by:
wikiHow Staff Writer
This article was co-authored by wikiHow staff writer, Ali Garbacz. Our trained team of editors and researchers validate articles for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

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Co-authors: 3
Updated: March 21, 2023
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Categories: Baby Sleep
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