How to Try to Fix a Friendship After You Broke It

Last Updated: August 3, 2021

It can seem impossible to restart a friendship after you messed it up but it's definitely worth the effort and, with luck, you may just succeed. If not, at least you gave it your best shot.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Trying to make amends

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Admit that you were the one in the wrong.^{[1]
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Research source} That even if you thought at the time it was the right thing to do, you now realize it caused the other person to feel less important and as such, it was not worth battling over.
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Look at yourself and the situation long and hard.^{[2]
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Research source} This will help you to know how to form a solution. This is not the time to just think you can text or call the person and expect everything will be just fine. Sometimes, they feel it is "too late"; however, if they mean the world to you don't just give up; after all, if it was your fault, you need to prove to them that they are worth fighting for.

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Get in touch. After you have looked at the situation and have seen in your own mind how the other person felt about it contact the other person and apologize. They may not be ready to hear from you but at least they know that you are sorry for your actions. If the person is not ready to talk to you, do not get upset and do not keep texting them. This could cause them to block your texts and make it almost impossible to get in contact with them
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Give it time.^{[3]
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Research source} After the first attempt to apologize, give it a day or two. This could feel like a lifetime when you care so much for someone and you know you hurt them but give it time. Rushing to get that person to accept your apology could hurt things even more. Give them time and plenty of space.
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Be thoughtful.^{[4]
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Research source} When you do text back to that person after a few days just let them know that you are still thinking about them. Don't go all crazy and leave a long text that takes days to read. It could be as simple as "just wanted you to know that I am still thinking of you and I know I messed up". They might respond back or they might ignore it. If they do not respond, do not blow up their phone with a bunch of mean texts. Remember that you are the one who messed up, not them.
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Face facts. If they do not respond after three attempts to contact them you know you really messed up. This is the point when you decide how much this person means to you. If you want to keep trying the next step is to try to approach them and talk to them. If you start to walk up to them and they walk away from you ask them once to please stop, if they don't do not run after them and cause a big thing in front of everyone. If you are lucky and they do, stop don't get excited and start just start saying everything on your mind. Be truthful about how you feel without flooding them with all your thoughts and feelings.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Moving forward

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Let things go.^{[5]
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Research source} If you were not able to talk to them because they didn't stop the last thing you can really do is just let them be. Whatever you did really made them upset and you may have lost them forever, but it was your fault so you have to deal with it. This is where you start over.
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Look at yourself. This means really look at yourself! Why did it happen? Were you drunk? Then stop drinking...Were you mad and out of control? Then find a way to get the anger out in a good way. Start working on yourself because once you figure out what is wrong with you, then you can start fixing what is wrong with your friendship
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Move forward.^{[6]
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Research source} It's going to be hard to get on with your life if you lost someone who really was your everything, but you can do it. Find something that makes you happy––surfing, photography, any old hobby you haven't done in a while and pick it up again. Once you find something that makes you happy again, take that energy and try to channel it. Keep that energy and move on with your life do not look back. Yes, you at one time loved this other person but it didn't work out. You realized what you did wrong and you know not to do it again. Learn from your mistake and don't keep repeating it; you will find someone who will make you feel whole again. It might even be the original person who made you start over. Just don't fall into the same routine.
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Live happy and let them live happy also. If you truly did love them at one point, then you shouldn't be sad that they found someone to make them happy. After all, that is all that you wanted right? So find your happiness in the best way that you can, and remember the friendship for the treasure it once was.