How to Tell a Guy You Like Him Without Scaring Him Off: 9 Things to Try

Co-authored by Cher Gopman and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: August 25, 2021 References

If you found a new guy that you really like, it can be tempting to blurt out your feelings and tell him how much you like him. However, for some guys, that can be a little intimidating, and it might cause them to pull away from the relationship. Fortunately, there are a few ways you can express yourself without scaring a guy off. Keep reading to learn how you can tell a guy you like him without sending him running for the hills.

1

Flirt a little.

Drop some hints that you like him without directly saying it. You can laugh at his jokes, give him a few compliments, or even tell him you think he’s cute. If he’s paying attention, he’ll get the message that you like him.^{[1]
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- Other things you can do to be flirtatious include making eye contact, leaning toward him when he's talking, or playing with your hair.^{[2]
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  Cher Gopman
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- This is a super subtle approach, so he might not get the message (especially if he’s bad at picking up on hints). You can try flirting for a little while, but you may need to switch to a more direct approach eventually.

2

Touch his shoulder or his hand.

Break the touch boundary to let him know you like him. An unspoken rule in dating is that if someone touches you on the arm or the hand, it means they probably like you. Lean over and pat his arm while you laugh at a joke, or gently touch his hand if he tells you something heartfelt. This is another subtle way to let him know you might be catching feelings.^{[3]
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Cher Gopman
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Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}^{[4]
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- Touching him on the arm or the hand isn’t a surefire way to let him know you like him, but it’s definitely a step in the right direction.

3

Give him a few compliments.

Sprinkle one or two into every conversation you guys have. Over time, he may pick up on your hints and get the message that you’re into him. You could compliment his laugh, his smile, or even how he looks that day—just stick to one or two per conversation so you don’t overwhelm him. Try something like:^{[5]
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- “Your hair looks so good! Did you do something different today?”
- “Wow, you smell amazing.”
- “You have the best laugh!”

4

Plan fun activities for the two of you.

Let him know you care by planning fun stuff for the two of you. Go out for a picnic, take a scenic drive, or get tickets to the new museum exhibit. The more time you spend together, the more he’ll understand that you like him.^{[6]
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- If he returns the favor and plans activities too, it’s a good sign that the feeling is mutual.
- It’s fine to plan fun activities for the two of you together, but try not to ask him to hang out all the time. If you make yourself available 24/7, it could seem a little clingy.^{[7]
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5

Express yourself in a private place.

He’ll probably be more comfortable if you two are alone. You don’t have to take him on a romantic beach walk, but try not to approach him if you’re in a crowded area. If you want to tell him that you like him, wait until you two are alone in a private place.^{[8]
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- If you want to keep it casual, don’t express your feelings over a candlelit dinner. Instead, tell him as you chow down on takeout or watch a fun movie in his living room. The more casual the setting, the less intense your conversation will feel.

6

Make it into a joke.

You can use this method if you want to keep it super casual. Try something like, “I wouldn’t want you to get a crush on me.” When you two are out together, try inserting this line in if he asks you to sit closer to him or give you a hug.^{[9]
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- If he invites you out for dinner, you could say something like, “Watch out—if we do that, people might think we’re dating!”
- Or, if you two just hung out together alone, you could say, “If we keep seeing each other like this, I might just start to like you.”
- If you’re trying to keep things super casual, only joke about it once or twice while you’re together. If you keep pressing it, he could get scared off.

7

Tell him how you feel when you’re together.

Try this if you want to get deep, but you don’t want to overwhelm him. When you two hang out, let him know that you feel really good when you’re with him or that he makes you feel good about yourself. This is a subtle yet sweet way to tell him that you’re into him without saying the words exactly. Try something like:^{[10]
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- “You make me feel so confident.”
- “When I’m around you, I feel like I can do anything.”

8

Just tell him.

If your hints aren’t working, this might be your best bet. Stay cool and confident so you don’t come across as needy. Some guys get scared off when they hear you like them because it seems like you’re putting them on a pedestal. However, if you walk up to him confidently and lay your feelings out on the table, he won’t be afraid to keep a relationship going with you.^{[11]
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Cher Gopman
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Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}^{[12]
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- Try something like, “I think you’re pretty cool, and I’d love to keep hanging out with you.”
- Or, “I’d like to see where this goes, if that’s okay with you.”
- If you know he gets scared off easily, stay away from anything too intense, like “I have feelings for you” or “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

9

Accept whatever he says.

Try not to take a rejection personally. If you express your feelings toward him and he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s okay! It just means you two weren’t meant to be together. If he doesn’t like you back, try to take it in stride and move onto the next guy.^{[13]
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- If he isn’t ready to commit yet, he might tell you that he likes you but he isn’t ready for a relationship. It’s up to you whether you want to wait for him to be ready or just move on.
- He also might say that he likes you back, which is great! You can ask him out on a date to keep the relationship going.