How to Tell Your Friends That You Are Moving

Last Updated: September 6, 2022 References Approved

Moving away from friends is never easy. In fact, it can be one of the hardest and saddest things you have to do. The good thing is that technology means you get to stay in touch much easier than in any other time in human history. This fact will help you all tell your friends because you can reassure them that you'll all stay in touch.

Steps

1
Decide that it's time to tell your friends. It's not a good idea to say anything until you are absolutely certain that you're moving. Sometimes your family may just make noises about moving or perhaps a job offer has happened but then last minute changes mean you don't have to move after all. It can be confusing to tell people you're leaving only to have it not happen, so be certain first. Also, don't keep the moving away a secret–this isn't fair to your friends and it'll be awful when you suddenly just "disappear". Keeping it a secret won't make it any easier to leave; in fact, without your friends' support, it can be a whole lot harder.^{[1]
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2
Figure out who needs to be told. Naturally, your best friend(s) and all your other close friends need to know. However, you may also wish to tell more distant friends, if you've connected well with them over time, rather than letting them learn from someone else. It will also be a good idea to work out whether you want to tell some friends individually or tell everyone at the same time.^{[2]
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- Sometimes it might be easier to tell one friend and let that friend tell other friends. It will depend on the context of your friendships.
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3
Choose good places to meet up and discuss the move. If you know that a friend is likely to cry or react badly, find somewhere private to talk. It isn't fair to subject them to the glare of onlookers. Suggested places include seating away from other people, outside in a yard or under trees, a place where nobody is likely to know you such as a cafe, etc. For really special friends, it can be nice to go somewhere to have a drink and something to eat together (cafe, bar, restaurant), so that you can spend a lot of time together, feeling relaxed and talking about the future possibilities.^{[3]
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- Have some tissues to offer in case.
- If you're telling a group of friends, have them gather somewhere easy like around a lunch table or sitting on the ground outside.
4
Be honest and say exactly what is happening. Once you know you're moving, come out with the fact and make it clear where you're moving to and when this will likely happen. Most of your friends will want to know why you're moving, so make that clear if you can. If you can't, talk to your family about what you can say to other people. You may want to include some of the following things:
- How much you will miss everyone/your friend. If you don't want to leave, express this.
- How you expect your friends to come and visit you.
- How you've already checked out the things that are fun to do in the new place and you can't wait for them to come and try. Tell them they're welcome to stay with you.
5
Expect a range of reactions. It is likely that your good friends will be upset. Some friends may react in a way that covers up their sadness or shock, such as pretending it's "whatever" or reacting as if you don't care about them. For any friend who reacts negatively, realize that this is likely because your friend has had a sudden shock and is hurting at the news you're about to go. Try to be understanding and give this person some space. You can come back to this person later and talk again.^{[5]
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- Feel free to ask your friends how they feel about you leaving. Let them talk openly and listen.
6
Explore the options for staying in touch with your friends. If you don't already have their contact details, now is the time to start gathering!^{[6]
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- Connect on social media networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc.^{[8]
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- Share cell phone details for plenty of texts–texts don't cost a lot, are easy to use and will keep you in touch quickly.
- Open and share Skype or Google Hangout accounts so that you can see each other face to face now and then. Book the first catch-up for the first week of your arrival!
- Share snail mail addresses. You never know when you might want to send a parcel of good cheer.
7
Realize that many of your current friends will fade away over time. Initially, it's possible that lots of your friends will try to stay in touch. But people's lives change, and just as things would change when you're around each other, they'll also change when you're apart. Do your best to stay in touch but be realistic; whittle it down to the friends you really do care most about and focus most on staying in touch with them.^{[9]
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Community Q&A

Question

What if my friend thinks I am joking?

Community Answer

Keep telling them. Be really serious. If they still don't, they'll realize it sooner or later.
Question

What if I'm really scared to tell my BFF I am moving?

Community Answer

Muster up your courage and tell her. It will be worse if she finds out from someone else, or at the very last minute.
Question

I'm moving in 60 days, and I'm sad about it. How do I tell my friends?

Community Answer

Tell them ASAP and then spend time with them -- as much time as you can. Set up ways to keep in contact after you move.

Warnings

If you tell people and they say "I know", somebody has leaked.

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Beware of people that don't like you and could find out your new address and come "visit" you.

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