How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him

Last Updated: February 3, 2022 References Approved

You have fallen madly in love with your boyfriend, but you're struggling with finding the best way to let him know. Though being in love is really exciting, telling your boyfriend that you love him can be nerve-racking, and you may not know how to proceed. The trick to telling him the right way is finding the best time, place, and way to say those three magic words. If you want to know the best way to say "I love you" to your boyfriend, just follow these easy steps.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Making Sure You're Both Ready

1
Know that you're in love. Saying "I love you" is a big step, and before you say those magic words, you need to make sure you mean it. If you don’t mean it, don’t do it.You may be feeling infatuated, obsessed, or smitten with your boyfriend, but how do you know that what you're feeling is truly love?^{[1]
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Research source} Here are some signs that you are truly in love:
- If nothing feels as good as it does when you're with your significant other. If he has a way of putting you at ease and making you feel amazing for who you are.
- If you can't imagine your future without him.
- If you can be yourself completely around him.
- If you are realistic about who your boyfriend is. If you are able to accept his flaws instead of thinking he's absolutely perfect, this is a sign that you may be in love.
2
Consider his feelings. Though you're not a mind reader, you may have a sense that he also loves you, or you wouldn't consider telling him such big news.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.} You won't be able to know if he loves you for sure until you tell him, but there are a few things you can consider to get a better sense of how he feels.^{[3]
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Research source} Here are some signs that he may share your feelings:
- If he's always complimenting you, telling you how amazing you are, and saying that he's never met a person like you, then he may be falling for you.
- If he can't keep his hands off of you and always wants to be around you. Make sure he is feeling love, not lust -- it's easy to confuse the two. If he's addicted to your mind and your personality and not just your body, then he may be falling for you.
- If you often catch him staring at you with a dopey, sweet expression. Bonus points if he blushes and turns away when you catch him.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Picking the Right Place and Time

1
Pick the right place to deliver the news. Though the place you chose won't affect how your boyfriend feels about you, it could help you deliver your message in a way that makes your boyfriend feel more comfortable. Telling him in the right place can also help set the mood. Here are some places to consider:^{[4]
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Expert Source

Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}
- Pick a place that is special to both of you. It could be where you had your first date, your first kiss, or where you had an incredible conversation. It doesn't even have to be that romantic, as long as it means something to both of you.
- Pick a romantic location.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Jan & Jillian Yuhas
  Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
  Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.} Tell him in a dimly-lit restaurant or a rose garden. The danger of picking a public spot is that it may make the situation more difficult if it doesn't go as you planned.
- Tell him while you're going for a walk. Take a stroll through a beautiful part of your neighborhood. Stop him and tell him when it feels right.
- Tell him when you're on vacation together. This is the perfect opportunity to take your love to the next level.
- Tell him when you're cuddling on the couch.^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Jan & Jillian Yuhas
  Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
  Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}
2
Pick the right time to tell him. Though timing isn't everything, picking the right time to tell your boyfriend you love him can help him be more receptive to your news, and can help you feel more comfortable about delivering it.^{[7]
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Research source} Here are some things to consider when you're choosing the right time:
- Pick a time when both of you are in a good mood and free from stress.
- Don't tell him you love him if he has a big exam the next day, or he may have his mind on other things.
- Tell him in the evening. Everything is more romantic in the dark.
- Tell him at a time when you feel good about telling him. Remember that it has to be the right time for you, too.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Telling Him You Love Him

1
Start with the right body language. Your body and face should tell your boyfriend how you're feeling before you say a word. You can already let him know that something is about to happen with the right look and the right gesture.^{[8]
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Research source} Here are a few things you can do:
- Maintain eye contact. You should stare him in the eyes without being too intense. Make him feel important.
- Turn your entire body toward him. Let him know that he has your undivided attention.
- Touch him lightly. Put your hand on his knee, graze his shoulder, or rub his back.
2
Tell him you love him. Now that you have all your ducks in a row, there's no more holding back. You've been planning to share your feelings, and now's the time. You can make him feel comfortable by making small talk or laughing a little, but cut to the chase.
- Relax. Take a deep breath before you give him the news. Tell yourself that you'll be relieved once you tell him.
- Be direct. Don't beat around the bush. You can be cutesy or funny later, but love is a serious matter. Just say, "I want you to know that I love you." You can also say, "I've fallen in love with you."
- Don't look away when you say it. The look in your eyes will show him your commitment.
3
Wait for his reaction. After you've given him your big news, take a minute to let him say something. Though you may be dying to say more about your feelings, remember that you've just told him something very important, and that he needs some time to consider it. Now, one of two things will happen:
- In the best-case scenario, he will tell you that he shares your feelings and that he has been waiting to tell you how he feels.
- He could also say that he is overwhelmed and needs some time to think about it.
- The worst-case scenario is that he will be completely thrown off and tell you that he didn't think your relationship was so serious. If this happens, don't despair! You'll work through this.
4
React appropriately. Whatever his reaction, your effort doesn't stop after you told your boyfriend that you love him. Once he tells you how he feels, you have to know what to do next to make sure the relationship is as strong as it could be.^{[9]
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Research source}
- If he tells you he shares your feelings, hug him, kiss him, and celebrate your love!
- If he says he needs some time to think about what you've said, give him space. Don't pressure him or get upset. Respect that he needs more time to make a decision and don't ask him any questions or you could make things worse.
- If he says he doesn't share your feelings, don't despair. For one thing, if you're really sure about your feelings and fairly certain about his, this probably won't happen. But if it does, be proud of yourself for opening up and doing something brave, and work on moving on.

Expert Q&A

Question

Why is it hard to say I love you for the first time?

Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
Jan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas are Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists and the Founders of Entwined Lifestyle. They specialize in helping individuals and couples work on effective communication, healthy boundaries, and lifestyle wellness. They have also been featured on media outlets such as Yahoo Lifestyle and Bustle. Jan and Jillian both hold a BA in Psychology from The University of Illinois at Chicago and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy from The Adler School of Professional Psychology.

Jan & Jillian Yuhas

Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists

Expert Answer

Opening your heart and sharing your deepest feelings is never easy. It will be easier to do this when you feel there is consistency within your connection and in the relationship.
Question

How long is a good time to wait to say I love you?

Jan & Jillian Yuhas
Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists
Jan Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas are Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists and the Founders of Entwined Lifestyle. They specialize in helping individuals and couples work on effective communication, healthy boundaries, and lifestyle wellness. They have also been featured on media outlets such as Yahoo Lifestyle and Bustle. Jan and Jillian both hold a BA in Psychology from The University of Illinois at Chicago and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy from The Adler School of Professional Psychology.

Jan & Jillian Yuhas

Relationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists

Expert Answer

There's no set time for that. A growing connection is the best indication you and your partner are on the same page. Also, it is best to share your feelings when you and your boyfriend are experiencing a positive interaction, such as on a date, or during a moment of intimacy.