How to Talk to Your Crush

Last Updated: July 22, 2022 References

Talking to your crush can seem scary and exciting at the same time. But have no fear! Pretty much everyone gets a bit nervous in these situations, so you're far from alone, and who knows? Your crush may be psyched to hear from you! Whether you're taking this first step by text, on social media, or in person, we've got you covered!

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Introducing Yourself to Your Crush

1
Tell your crush your name so they know who you are. If you have a crush at school, work, or anywhere else, start by saying hello and introducing yourself to them. That way you can can talk and interact with them in the future without being a stranger.^{[1]
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- Don’t try to play it cool and keep a distance from your crush. They may think it’s strange or that you don’t like them and they won’t want to talk to you.
- Keep it simple and say something like, “Hi! I’m Chris, I don’t think we’ve met before.”
2
Make small talk to get comfortable talking to your crush. Small talk is a great way for you to start a conversation and to get both you and your crush used to talking to each other, which can make future conversations more likely to happen. Whenever you greet your crush, try some small talk to get them talking.^{[2]
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- Try making small comments about the weather. It may seem boring, but it’s likely to get a response from your crush.
- Keep things fun and light at first. You don't want to bring up anything too intense or a topic that could make your crush uncomfortable.^{[3]
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  Connell Barrett
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Tip: If there was a recent major current event, like a big sports game or a political scandal, try making a small comment about it. Try saying something like, “Man, that was a great game this past weekend, wasn’t it?”

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3
Greet your crush whenever you see them so they remember you. If you want to be able to talk to your crush, it helps if they remember you and if you’re pleasant whenever they see you. Flash a big smile and greet them anytime you run into them.^{[4]
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- If you see your crush every morning at work or school, say something like, “Good morning, Kelly!”
- Read the situation whenever you greet them. For example, if your crush is coming inside from a big storm and seem frustrated, don’t be overly excited. Try saying something casual but caring like, “Hey, sucks out. You okay?”
4
Add your crush on social media so you can talk to them there. After you’ve introduced yourself and your crush knows you and has interacted with you, it’s okay to add them on social media. You can look through their social media to see if you have any mutual friends or common interests that you can use to talk to your crush about.^{[5]
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- Don’t add your crush if they don’t know you or you could creep them out and ruin your chances of talking to them.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Texting Your Crush

1
Ask your crush for their phone number casually. Once you’ve introduced yourself and you’ve spoken to your crush, you can ask for their number without making a big deal of it. Ask them for their number in a way that doesn’t seem awkward or like you’re hitting on them so you can text them.^{[6]
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- Try asking them for their number so you can both reach out if you need to know something. For example, you could ask them something like, “Hey, what’s your number in case I need to reach you?”
- Don’t make it weird by asking them for their number the first time you meet them or they may be creeped out and won’t want to give you their number.
2
Send your crush an introductory text so they have your number. After you get their number, send them a message saying hello. Include your name and a very brief message so they can save your number in their phone for any future text conversations that you have.^{[7]
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- Send them a friendly message like, “Hey, it’s Jack. Got your number saved! Thanks.”
- You can send a smiley face or a friendly emoji with your message so they can tell that it’s lighthearted.
3
Text funny memes to your crush to make them laugh. Making your crush laugh is a great way to get them talking to you. Send them a meme or joke that you know they’ll think is funny to get a conversation going or to add to an existing one.^{[8]
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- Send them something that’s specific to their sense of humor so they can see that you’ve noticed their interests. For instance, send them a funny meme about cats.
Tip: Make your own meme that’s specific to your crush’s interests. For instance, you could use a picture of them and add words to it that illustrate a funny thing they say or do.
4
Start a group chat with your crush and mutual friends. You can talk to your crush without any pretense or pressure by starting a group message that includes them and some friends, classmates, or coworkers. You can send jokes, funny memes, or use the group chat to plan meetups and events with the group.^{[9]
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- Use a real reason to start the group chat so it’s not weird. For example, if you’re in a class with your crush, create a group message and start it off with something like, “Hey guys, this is Sarah, did anybody do Mr. Smith’s homework? I’m struggling over here lol.”
- Your crush may think you’re just interested in them as a friend if you only talk to them in a group message, but it’s a great way for you to show them your funny or friendly side. If you want to talk to them more intimately or flirtatiously, text them directly.
5
Invite your crush someplace casual where you can talk. Use the informal nature of texting to your advantage and ask your crush if they want to meet up. But keep it casual and without any pressure so there are no awkward feelings and you don’t seem pushy.^{[10]
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- For example, text your crush something like, “Have you tried that new ramen place? I’m craving noodles right now, you wanna check it out?”
- If your crush denies or rejects your request, don’t get any hard feelings. Say something calm and laid back like, “No worries! Some other time then.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Using Social Media to Communicate

1
Like your crush’s posts on social media so they can see you. A casual and lowkey way to communicate with your crush is to like their pictures and posts so they know that you saw them. But don’t overdo it and like a ton of their posts at one time or they may think that you’re strange or possibly a stalker.^{[11]
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- For example, don’t like any posts or pictures that they posted before they added you as a friend or they’ll know that you were searching through their old stuff and may not want to talk to you.
- Avoid liking your crush’s comments on other people’s posts or they may think that you’re obsessed with them.
2
Comment on their social media posts. When you’ve had a few conversations with your crush, it’s appropriate for you to also make comments on their social media posts. Keep the comments lighthearted and friendly so they’ll feel comfortable enough to reply or comment on your own social media posts.^{[12]
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- Don’t write overly long comments. Keep them short and sweet.
- Avoid attacking someone else who comments on their posts. You may not know their relationship, so it’s not appropriate for you to add your opinion.
- Try not to flirt or post over-the-top compliments or it could come off as creepy and weird.
3
Tag your crush in a funny or interesting post so they can comment on it. Social media is great for starting casual conversations with your crush without coming on too strong. Post something that you think they’ll like and tag them. Tag them in a post that you see that you think they’ll enjoy. They can then comment on it and you can keep the conversation going.^{[13]
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- If your crush is into animals and you see a cute post, like a fluffy cat or an animal doing something adorable, tag your crush so they can see it and respond.
- Tag your crush in things that you know they’ll like, don’t tag them in stuff that is overly flirty or mushy or it could drive them away.
- Use social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to tag people.
4
Send your crush a direct message to talk to them. Many social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have a feature that allows you to send a message directly to people. Send your crush messages to talk to them there, but make sure you don’t overdo it or they could block you and you won’t be able to send them any messages.^{[14]
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- Don’t try to flirt with them if you’ve just met them or it could push them away and prevent any future conversations.
Tip: Avoid sending multiple messags in a row if they don’t respond. It’s possible they haven’t checked their account, and you don’t want to come off as clingy or aggressive.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Having Face-to-Face Conversations

1
Stay calm and be positive whenever you talk to your crush. You want your crush to want to talk to you. They’re much more likely to be open to interacting with you if you’re positive and aren’t freaking out or nervous everytime they see you.^{[15]
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- Take deep breaths to calm your nerves before you talk to your crush.
- If you’re having a bad day or you’re upset about something when you talk to your crush, try being honest about it without being a downer. For example, you could say something like, “Hey Kelly, sorry if I seem a little off, I’m just worried about a friend of mine who’s not doing so well.”
2
Maintain eye contact with your crush when you talk to them. Your crush is more likely to want to talk to you if they think you’re interested in what they have to say. Making eye contact with them while you’re talking to them will show them that you’re listening and you’re engaged.^{[16]
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- Don’t hold eye contact from a distance or it could come off as creepy.
- Try not to simply stare at them.
3
Ask your crush about their day to keep a conversation going. If your crush is comfortable talking to you, you can ask them how they’re doing and how their day is going, which will get them talking about themselves. That means you can learn more about your crush and they’ll talk to you more if they think they can trust you.^{[17]
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- Pay attention and listen to your crush whenever they talk to you.
- For instance, if a conversation with your crush starts to lose momentum and there’s an awkward silence, try asking something that will get them talking like, “So, how’s your day going? Anything crazy going on?”
4
Talk to your crush about things that you have in common. As you get to know your crush, you’ll find that you share common interests that you can use to talk to your crush about. You can also talk about things you both do at school or work, or use people that you both know as conversation starters.^{[18]
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- For example, if you and your crush are both really into the band The Black Keys, tell them about your favorite songs or any concerts of theirs that you went to.
Tip: Look at your crush’s social media to see what they’re into so you can talk about it with them.
5
Give your crush a nice compliment when it’s appropriate. If you feel comfortable and confident talking to your crush, a nice compliment here and there can make them like you more. Don’t dote tons of compliments on them, just a nice but genuine one whenever it feels right.^{[19]
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- For example, if you notice that your crush got a new haircut, say something like, “Hey! I love the new haircut!”
- Don’t be lewd or inappropriate by commenting on one of their body parts or they’re likely to not want to talk to you anymore.
- You don’t need to compliment them everytime you talk to them. Your words can become meaningless if your crush thinks that you’re not being genuine.
6
Flirt a little bit with your crush to see if they flirt back. Once you’ve established a friendly relationship with your crush, you can try a little playful flirting. If they’re flattered or they flirt back with you, then it could be a sign that they like you. If they like you, they’re much more likely to want to keep talking to you.^{[20]
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- Try giving them a compliment that’s a little more intimate, but casual. For example, you could say something like, “You look really cute in that outfit.”
- Don’t overdo the flirting or your crush may not want to keep talking to you.
- If your crush doesn’t respond or seems to dislike your flirting, back off for a little while. You may be able to try again later, but you don’t want to ruin your chances.
7
Ask your crush for help with something so you can talk to them. If you work with your crush or you go to school with them, you can ask them if they can help you with an assignment or a project that you’re working on. If they accept, it’ll give you a chance to interact with them and allow you to talk to them more.^{[21]
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- If you don’t have a project or assignment that your crush can help you with, you can ask them for their advice or opinion on something, which will get them to talk to you. For example, you could say something like, “Hey, I’m not sure what I should get my parents for their anniversary, do you have any ideas?”
- Asking your crush for help with something will show them that you’re interested in their thoughts and opinions.

Community Q&A

Question

I’m too nervous to ask her out, can you help me?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

Start by getting to know her and what she's interested in. You may find that you share common interests that you can talk about with her. Before you try to ask her out, be her friend!
Question

I can’t tell if my crush likes me as a friend as she rarely sits next to me in class anymore, but still invites me to some stuff.

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

Try talking to her about things that you have in common. If she seems interested in talking with you, try spending more time with her. Accept her invitations to spend time together!
Question

if my crush just got out of a tough relationship, how long should i wait to confess to them?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

You should wait until they feel ready to be in a relationship, but in the meantime, you can be their friend. A healthy romantic relationship starts with a great friendship.