10+ Thoughtful Ways to Spend Quality Time with Your Wife

Co-authored by Collette Gee and Jennifer Mueller, JD

Last Updated: September 1, 2021 References

When you're busy working, taking care of kids, and handling household chores, you might find you and your spouse only see each other in passing. Even if you're both doing chores in the same room together, that doesn't necessarily qualify as quality time. If this sounds like you, sit down with your spouse and your schedules and carve out a little time each week to focus on each other, show affection, and increase your connection. Here, we've gathered some ideas to get you started with ways to spend quality time with your wife.

1

Schedule a regular date night.

Put time on the calendar to prioritize your relationship. Think back to when you and your spouse were first dating: dates would be scheduled and you'd look forward to them all week. You can recreate that feeling again in your marriage with "date night."^{[1]
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Expert Source

Collette Gee
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.} What the two of you do is up to you—the important part is that this is time dedicated to just the two of you.^{[2]
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- Plan the date in advance to increase the anticipation. For example, you might make reservations at a local restaurant you've both been dying to try.

2

Play a game or work on a puzzle.

Spend a night in connecting with each other. There are plenty of card games and board games that are suitable for 2 players—just pick one and go! Cooperative games can improve your communication and teamwork, while more competitive games encourage a playful rivalry.^{[3]
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- If you decide to tackle a jigsaw puzzle, think about getting a larger one that will take you several sessions to complete. You can use a jigsaw puzzle mat (buy one online or wherever puzzles are sold) or put a piece of plexiglass over the unfinished puzzle when you're not working on it.
- If you have a video game console, you can also spend some quality time playing video games together. Like board games, you have the option of playing cooperatively or against each other to get those competitive juices flowing.^{[4]
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3

Read a book together.

Choose a book and take turns reading aloud. Maybe you haven't had "storytime" since you were a child, but reading aloud to your partner can be a pleasurable bonding experience. After reading for a few minutes, take some time to talk about what you read. Your reflections on the reading help you learn more about each other.^{[5]
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- Poetry is a good option for reading aloud because each poem is usually relatively short. Poems also encourage lots of discussion and can evoke strong feelings in both the reader and the listener. This is a great way to understand your partner on a deeper level.
- If you're not comfortable reading aloud, you can also try starting a little book club with just the two of you. Choose a book you'll both enjoy and each of you can read it separately, then come together and discuss it.

4

Work on an artistic project.

One study showed creating art together increases oxytocin. This hormone, which your body produces naturally, is sometimes called the "hugging hormone"—and for good reason. Higher levels of oxytocin are what you're feeling when you feel like you're "in love." What a great reason to pick up a paintbrush!^{[6]
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- Art studios and museums often have classes where you can learn a little about different art techniques. If you find one that interests you both, you could do it together. You can also have just as much fun simply creating art at home with a few basic supplies from a discount or art supply store.
- Don't worry if you're not particularly artistic. Make something abstract instead of trying to draw something hyper-realistic or color in an adult coloring book instead of trying to start from scratch.

5

Go on a walk or hike.

Take time outdoors to refresh your minds and bodies together. Just being in nature gives you a mood booster that can help reduce stress. Walking or hiking together also gives you and your spouse plenty of time to talk with no distractions.^{[7]
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- If you and your spouse enjoy walking together, you can make it a regular part of your day. It doesn't take much to lace up your sneakers after dinner and walk around the neighborhood for 15-20 minutes (as long as you don't have small children at home, that is).
- To make your hike feel more like a date, try hiking to a good picnic spot.^{[8]
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  Collette Gee
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}

6

Pair up in the kitchen to cook a special meal.

Cooking together builds cooperation and forges a connection. You know you have to eat anyway, why not get some quality time out of it? Go through a recipe book and choose a dish you both want to try, get the ingredients, and hit the kitchen!^{[9]
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- If neither of you has much experience in the kitchen, you might want to consider taking a couples' cooking class.
- You could also try subscribing to a meal kit, where all the ingredients are already measured and prepared for you, which takes some of the work out of it. Just make sure you shop around because some of these kits can be pricey.

7

Run errands as a couple.

Turn groceries and household shopping into bonding time. Running errands doesn't have to be a dreaded chore—it can be a chance for adventure that strengthens your connection with your spouse. Figure out what you need to do, then set off together. It's an easy way to get in some bonding time while doing something you need to do anyway.^{[10]
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- Tackle your errands at a leisurely pace, engaging and enjoying each others' company. For example, if you're going grocery shopping, move deliberately down each aisle and discuss your choices.

8

Team up on a home improvement project.

Bond over paint and power tools while you work as a team. This one offers you a way to kill two birds with one stone—spend some quality time together and cross that big project you've both been meaning to finish off the "to do" list. Talk about the project beforehand and figure out what you're each going to do. Then, go buy your supplies and get to work!^{[11]
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- For example, if you're painting a room, you might agree that you'll do the ceiling (since you're the tallest) while your partner works on the walls.
- This doesn't have to be a big project. If you're limited by your budget (or if you rent), you might refinish an old coffee table or up-cycle a set of chairs.

9

Volunteer for a cause you both support.

Work side by side helping at a soup kitchen or walking dogs. Talk about causes you're both interested in and scope out local opportunities to help. Homeless shelters are frequently looking for volunteers to help out, as are humane societies. Doing good will make you feel good—about yourself and about each other.^{[12]
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- You can also start your own project. For example, you and your spouse might decide to pick up litter around the neighborhood for an hour every Saturday.

10

Learn a new language or skill together.

Strengthen your bond by expanding your horizons. Learning something new gives you an opportunity to be vulnerable around your partner, which helps you forge stronger connections with each other. Search for community classes online (many of these are free) or take advantage of free instructional videos online to learn at your own pace.^{[13]
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- For example, maybe the two of you have always wanted to travel to Italy. Why not learn Italian together? Then, you can plan the trip once you've both reached a specific language milestone you choose together.
- If the two of you aren't really into languages, maybe there's another skill that you've both always wanted to learn, like woodworking, cooking, or even making fancy cocktails.

11

Play tourist in your own town.

Visit a local tourist attraction and see what all the fuss is about. It can be fun to discover new things about the place where you live—even better if you've both lived there for years. Check out local tourist guides to get some ideas of places you've never been to before that visitors enjoy.^{[14]
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- If you really want to ham it up, pretend you're from out of town. Ask someone to recommend a good restaurant or a place to go for a drink when you're done exploring.

12

Try a new sport.

Try something like tennis or golf that you can play as a pair. This is even better if you're both new to the sport because you can both gain new skills while playing together. Sports also improve your communication and strengthen your connection as a team.^{[15]
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- Canoeing and indoor climbing are some other sports that you can tackle as a team. You don't have to live in the mountains to climb, either—just search online for the nearest indoor climbing facility.
- If individual sports are more your speed, you can still do them together. Cycling, swimming, and running are all sports that you can do with your partner.
- Don't forget dancing! While it might not be considered a "sport," it's a physical activity that you can definitely do together. Start simple with a couples' ballroom dancing class if you have two left feet.

13

Go on a weekend getaway.

Plan a trip to a retreat nearby for a change of scenery. If you have the means to get away for a day or two, this is an opportunity to bank a lot of quality time with your spouse. Planning the trip can also involve quality time as you put your heads together to decide where you're going to stay and what you're going to do.^{[16]
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- Your trip doesn't have to be fancy and expensive or involve a long time on the road. For example, you could just drive to the next town over and explore it together.
- If the two of you enjoy the great outdoors and have a tight budget, camping is a great option. Many commercial campgrounds also have loads of activities, such as hiking, kayaking, and fishing, that you and your partner can jump in on.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I improve my quality time with my partner at home?

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

Collette Gee

Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist

Expert Answer

Even if you decide to stay in, go to a little effort to make it special. For example, if you're watching a movie on Netflix, pop some popcorn and put plenty of blankets and pillows on the couch so the two of you can cuddle up.

Warnings

Put your cell phones away! Focus on each other and avoid distractions. While you might need to interrupt quality time for a true emergency, anything else can usually wait.^{[18]
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