Toeing the line between flirting and being creepy can be a bit of a balancing act. Fortunately, by keeping the girl’s boundaries in mind and checking in with her often, you can let her know you’re interested without making her uncomfortable. Read through these helpful tips to approach a girl and spark up a fun, lively conversation in no time.

1

Pick the right time and place.

  1. A bar or a club is a good place to flirt, but the gym might not be. Take stock of your situation: are you in a setting where most people assume they’re going to be approached? Or does the girl you’re interested in just want to be left alone? If you’re pretty sure she wouldn’t mind you coming over to talk, then go for it![1]
    • Some places are gray areas, like a coffee shop or the grocery store. A good rule of thumb is to look at her body language: if her gaze is down, her arms crossed, or she has headphones on, she probably doesn’t want to talk to anyone.
    • Always approach women in a public place, not somewhere secluded. A crowded coffee shop is fine, but an abandoned stairwell isn’t.
    • That said, you shouldn't limit your opportunities. Give yourself permission to be open every day of your life and you'll end up meeting lots of interesting people.
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2

Smile and make eye contact with her.

  1. Smiling makes you look kind, approachable, and (best of all), not creepy. When you two do make eye contact, hold her gaze, and give her a warm smile. This shows that your intentions are good, and she might even take it as an invitation to approach you. You can do this once or twice as you work up the courage to go over and chat with her.[2]
    • The key here is to hold her gaze instead of glancing away quickly. If she catches you looking at her and you immediately look away, it can feel like you were being creepy instead of trying to flirt.
    • However, you don’t want to hold her gaze for too long—staring or gawking might make her uncomfortable. Stick to a couple of seconds of eye contact to find the perfect balance.
    • Give the girl space so she doesn't feel trapped by you.
4

Put your shoulders back and keep your head held high.

10

Touch her on the hand or arm.

  1. Keep your touches light and short so she doesn’t get uncomfortable. If you two have been having a fun conversation so far, feel free to gently touch her on the hand or on the forearm. Don’t go any higher than that, and definitely don’t try to grab her waist or anywhere on her torso. A little light touch shows her that you’re interested, but by keeping it on the hand or the arm, you can stay respectful, too.[10]
    • A good way to do this is to touch her on the hand while you’re laughing at a joke she told. Lightly pat her hand while saying something like, “You’re so funny!”
    • If she pulls away or flinches at your touch, don’t push it. Many people don’t like being touched, especially by people they don’t know well.
11

Ask if she’d like to see you again.

Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How can I attract a girl without being creepy?
    Lauren Sanders
    Lauren Sanders
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Lauren Sanders is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder of Dating for the Soul. With over four years of experience, she specializes in helping singles find love. Lauren is also the author of Lipstick Faith: A Collection of Inspirational Writings and Life Lessons, You Deserve the World, Rainbows and Strawberries: 100 Devotions for the Brighter Side of Life, and Let's Go Outside Mommy. Lauren holds BS from Dillard University and a Masters from The University of North Georgia.
    Lauren Sanders
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Just try being yourself! And remember: there's no reason not to tell her you're interested directly. If she's receptive, you can try asking her out on a date, but don't make it a big and extravagant date. Focus on something simpler that will allow you two to talk.
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About This Article

Lauren Sanders
Co-authored by:
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Lauren Sanders and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Lauren Sanders is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder of Dating for the Soul. With over four years of experience, she specializes in helping singles find love. Lauren is also the author of Lipstick Faith: A Collection of Inspirational Writings and Life Lessons, You Deserve the World, Rainbows and Strawberries: 100 Devotions for the Brighter Side of Life, and Let's Go Outside Mommy. Lauren holds BS from Dillard University and a Masters from The University of North Georgia. This article has been viewed 35,336 times.
9 votes - 69%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: May 31, 2022
Views: 35,336
Categories: Relationships
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