How to Say No to Drugs and Alcohol

Co-authored by Tala Johartchi, PsyD and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: February 17, 2023 References

When you’re offered drugs or alcohol, it usually only takes a simple “no thank you” to decline. Unfortunately, there may come a time when your friends or classmates pressure you to try something that you don’t want to. We’ll start with some simple options on how to say no that work for most situations, then move into some things you can try if you’re still feeling pressured.

1

Make an excuse.

You can make something up or use a real excuse as to why you can’t. This could be as simple as needing to get home, or you could blame it on your strict parents or a drug test at your job. Keep the excuse short and simple for the best results. For example:^{[1]
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- “No thanks, my parents will probably know if I come home high.”
- “I can’t stay long, I have to go help my dad with something.”
- “I’m supposed to meet my friend in a few minutes, so I can’t.”

2

Use a little humor.

Deflect the situation by making a joke out of it. This works well with people you don’t know or acquaintances who might try to pressure you. Avoid using derogatory humor so you don’t offend anyone else. You could say:^{[2]
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- “No thanks, I need all the brain cells I can get.”
- “Doesn’t that stuff stunt your growth? I’m too short already!”

3

Change the subject.

Offer an alternative that you could do instead. If you’re with your friends, suggest doing an activity or grabbing a bite to eat. It might just be the push they need to put down the drugs or alcohol and do something a little safer. For example:^{[3]
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- “I’m good. Wanna go play basketball?”
- “No thanks. Let’s go grab some food.”

4

Offer to be the designated driver.

Let your friends know that you’re staying sober to drive them home. Most people won’t pass up the chance for a free ride, so they probably won’t hassle you anymore about it. Tell everyone at the beginning of the night so they don’t offer you anything at the party or club you’re going to.^{[4]
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- Say something like, “Hey guys, I’ll be our DD tonight. No drinking for me!”
- Or, “I’m all good, I’m staying sober so I can drive everyone home tonight.”

5

Act like you’re too busy.

Distract yourself with another activity. Show people that you can’t be bothered to try drugs and alcohol! If you’re at a club, head to the dance floor to shake your stuff. If you’re at a party, offer to be the DJ and pick a few new songs.^{[5]
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- If someone asks you to try drugs or alcohol, you could say, “No thanks! I’m way too busy!”

6

Explain the dangers of drugs and alcohol.

This works well if your close friends are offering you something. Keep in mind that this may not make you very popular, and there’s no guarantee that your friends will heed your advice. Don’t hound your friends; instead, express your feelings and tell them that you care about them. Say things like:^{[6]
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- “No thanks. That stuff is so bad for you.”
- “Haven’t you heard about the kids on the news who died from doing that?”

7

Be honest.

Open up to your friends about why you don’t like drugs and alcohol. This works well if it’s a close friend offering you a substance. People are more likely to respect your decision if you have a solid reason. You could say something like:^{[7]
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- “No thanks. I just really don’t like the taste/smell.”
- “My parents would kill me if they found out.”
- “I could get kicked off the team for doing that.”
- "I've decided to make some lifestyle changes so I won't be drinking at this time."^{[8]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tala Johartchi, PsyD
  Clinical Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 16 July 2021.}

8

Keep saying no.

If you turn them down firmly and repeatedly, they'll eventually give up. You might sound like a broken record, but eventually the person pressuring you will get the message. “No” is a complete sentence, so you don’t have to add anything else or make any other excuses if you don’t want to.^{[9]
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- If a simple “no” really isn’t working, you can move onto a different method, like using humor or making an excuse.
- If you really need to be forceful about it, say something like, “I said no and I’m not going to change my mind. Please stop asking.”

9

Explain that you’re in recovery.

If you struggle with an addiction, let people know when they offer. You don’t have to go into great detail—simply tell them that you’re sober and don’t mess with that stuff anymore. Most people will respect that, and some might even congratulate you on your decision. Say something like:^{[10]
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- “No thanks, I’m actually 6 months sober as of today.”
- “I’m all good, that stuff really messes me up. I’m trying to kick the habit.”
- "I've realized that drinking alcohol is something I can't do anymore."^{[11]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Tala Johartchi, PsyD
  Clinical Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 16 July 2021.}

10

Take a nonalcoholic drink with you at parties.

If someone offers you anything, point to your cup and say “I’m good.” People are less likely to pressure you to drink if you already have a cup in your hand. You can bring a drink ahead of time, or you can simply pour one of the chasers or mixers into a cup without any alcohol.^{[12]
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- Try pouring your drink into a plastic cup so other people can’t tell it’s only soda or iced tea.
- Mocktails are a great way to party without alcohol.^{[13]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tala Johartchi, PsyD
  Clinical Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 16 July 2021.}
- If your friends are doing shots, ask for a water shot so you can still participate with them.^{[14]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tala Johartchi, PsyD
  Clinical Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 16 July 2021.}
- If someone offers to get you a drink, say, "I'm definitely open to grabbing a drink, but could you get me something that's nonalcoholic?"^{[15]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Tala Johartchi, PsyD
  Clinical Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 16 July 2021.}

11

Leave the situation.

Some situations are too risky to stay in. If you feel pressured or someone keeps offering you drugs or alcohol, feel free to walk away and go somewhere else. If you’re at a party or a club, you may need to leave the gathering entirely.^{[16]
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- You can make an excuse like, “I’ve got practice in 20 minutes,” or “I’ve really got to study for this test.”
- If you ever feel uncomfortable at a party, call a trusted adult to pick you up.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you politely say no to a drink?

Tala Johartchi, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Tala Johartchi is a Clinical Psychologist based in the Los Angeles, California metro area. With expertise and advanced training in Evidence-Based Practices and therapeutic/behavioral frameworks, Dr. Johartchi specializes in working with individuals, couples, and families experiencing Substance Disorders, Love Addiction and Codependency, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well as common co-occurring disorders such as Depression, Anxiety, and Relational/Attachment difficulties. She earned an MA and PsyD in Clinical Psychology from The American School of Professional Psychology at Argosy University, San Francisco.

Tala Johartchi, PsyD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Explain why you aren't drinking anymore. You might frame it as a health decision, a lifestyle change, or even a personal preference.
Question

Can you have fun at parties without alcohol?

Tala Johartchi, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Tala Johartchi is a Clinical Psychologist based in the Los Angeles, California metro area. With expertise and advanced training in Evidence-Based Practices and therapeutic/behavioral frameworks, Dr. Johartchi specializes in working with individuals, couples, and families experiencing Substance Disorders, Love Addiction and Codependency, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well as common co-occurring disorders such as Depression, Anxiety, and Relational/Attachment difficulties. She earned an MA and PsyD in Clinical Psychology from The American School of Professional Psychology at Argosy University, San Francisco.

Tala Johartchi, PsyD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Absolutely! You can always order a drink without any alcohol in it, or play a drinking game with a non-alcoholic beverage. For instance, you and your friends could take "shots" of water.
Question

How can I stop thinking about alcohol?

Community Answer

You can try asking for help on the internet and change your focus. Try eating healthy foods, drinking tons of water, and exercising regularly. Avoid friends and situations that remind you of alcohol.