How to Report Domestic Violence Anonymously

Co-authored by Clinton M. Sandvick, JD, PhD

Last Updated: January 27, 2023

If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, reporting the violence can be necessary yet dangerous. A proper report can save the life of the domestic violence victim. For a variety of reasons, the reporter may want to remain anonymous. This can be done even if the person reporting the violence is also the victim.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Reporting Domestic Violence Anonymously

1
Call 911. If you see or hear domestic violence, then you should call 9-1-1 to report it immediately.^{[1]
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Research source} You may state that you are reporting the violence anonymously and withhold your name.
- Do not give your name or any other identifying characteristics. If someone on the other end asks how you know violence is occurring, say, “I heard it.” Don’t say, “I live next door and can hear it.” That detail can give away your identity.
- Instead, simply state the address, details of the abuse, and a description of the abuse you witnessed.
2
Contact the Domestic Violence hotline. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is free and confidential. They can connect you with local programs and national resources that may be able to help you.
- To reach the hotline, call 1-800-799-7233. It is available 24 hours.
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3
Reach out to the victim. If you have reported domestic violence anonymously and the victim continues to stay with the abuser, you may want to introduce yourself. When the abuser is away, stop by with a gift of some sort and introduce yourself. Ask if you can visit. As you talk, try to raise the issue of abuse in a kind manner.^{[2]
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Research source}
- You might want to bring pamphlets or phone numbers for domestic violence shelters or hotlines to share.^{[3]
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  Research source}
- If you are scared of the abuser, then refrain from telling the victim that you were the one to call the police earlier.
4
Seek a restraining order. If you are being abused, you can seek a restraining order. If you know of someone who is abused, then you may help them get the restraining order. The order will command the abuser to stay away from the victim and not make any contact.^{[4]
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Research source} Any violation can result in getting picked up by the police and potentially held in contempt of court.
- To get a restraining order, you will need to go to your county court and ask for forms. There should be no charge for filing the forms.
- For more information, visit wikiHow’s How to Get a Restraining Order.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Identifying Violence

1
Understand domestic violence. In the broad sense, domestic abuse is any act of a controlling and abusive nature that takes place in the context of a domestic relationship, including dating relationships. Abuse can be sexual, physical, emotional, verbal, psychological, or economic. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation.^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Organization providing lifesaving tools, support, and resources for victims and survivors of domestic abuse
Go to source}
- Each state defines domestic violence differently. For example, most states require a physical or sexual manifestation which can be as little as a bare touch without consent. Some states, however, require that the perpetrator use enough force or intimidation that the victim is in fear of their physical safety.
2
Look for red flags. If you don’t know if a relationship is abusive, look for common red flags. If you see something that looks suspicious, you might wish to approach the victim and gently ask whether he or she needs help. Visit wikiHow’s How to Recognize Signs of Domestic Violence for information on how to identify domestic violence.
- Common signs of physical violence include:
  - bruises
  - black eyes
  - marks on the neck or face
- Emotional abuse is also domestic violence. Although it may not leave outward signs, it is still damaging. Common emotional abuse includes:
  - humiliating language, such as calling someone names (“stupid,” “ugly,” “crazy,” etc.)
  - constant criticism or “nitpicking”
  - violent or uncontrolled shouting or screaming
- Domestic violence also includes financial abuse. With financial abuse, the abuser restricts the victim’s access to necessary finances. Financial abuse includes:
  - not providing access to money to pay for necessities like food, transportation, or medical care
  - requiring the victim to constantly check in about spending money, no matter how small the amount
  - not having access to a credit card and expressing fear about getting one
3
Document the violence. If possible, you should write down the days and times in which you hear fighting or witness abuse. You should keep a record, even if you initially want to report the violence anonymously. You may change your mind and wish to give the police a statement at a later date.
4
Do not blame the victim. People remain in abusive relationships for various, complicated reasons. Sometimes the victim fears for her life. Other times, he or she may lack resources to actually leave the abuser. In other situations, victims are committed to the relationship and hope for change.
5
Determine whether you should report the violence. Your first instinct may be to report any domestic violence that you suspect. However, doing so can create more problems for the victim than solutions. If the victim hasn’t created a safety plan, then getting the police involved could limit the victim’s options. Furthermore, police involvement could anger the abuser, leading to increased abuse.^{[6]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Organization providing lifesaving tools, support, and resources for victims and survivors of domestic abuse
Go to source}
- Instead of reporting domestic violence, you might want to reach out to the victim and ask what they want. You could help the victim come up with a safety plan, or you could put the victim in touch with agencies that help victims of domestic violence.^{[7]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  National Domestic Violence Hotline
  Organization providing lifesaving tools, support, and resources for victims and survivors of domestic abuse
  Go to source}
- Nevertheless, if the victim is in imminent danger, then you should call the police.^{[8]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  National Domestic Violence Hotline
  Organization providing lifesaving tools, support, and resources for victims and survivors of domestic abuse
  Go to source} If you hear physical fighting, objects being broken, or violent threats like “I will kill you!” then you should call the police immediately.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Choosing Whether to Report Anonymously

1
Consider the benefits. Many people who want to report domestic violence anonymously wish to do so because they fear the abuser. You may fear the abuser because you live in the same house, have had threatening contact with the abuser, or because you fear the victim. By reporting the abuse anonymously, you can protect yourself from potential payback.
- You may also not be entirely sure if domestic violence is occurring. In this situation, you may be embarrassed if you are wrong. By reporting anonymously, you can avoid a later confrontation with the suspected victim or abuser.
2
Weigh the negatives. If you report anonymously, then the police will not have your name and they probably cannot use your report in court. An abuser charged with a crime has a right to confront witnesses in court. Accordingly, it may be difficult for the prosecutor to bring charges, especially if the victim refuses to testify.
- If you are reporting abuse committed against yourself, then you should know that you will probably need to publicly accuse the other person of violence if you hope to see the abuser jailed.
- If you are being abused and you want help on how to leave your abuser, then you should call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 with questions. The organization also has a website with links to resources, such as contact information for state agencies and brochures on how to create a safety plan.
3
Choose to come forward at a later date. Know that if you report domestic violence anonymously, you can still identify yourself at a later date. If you hear abuse and fear that the victim is in imminent harm, you can report the violence anonymously and then reach out to the victim.
- If the victim wants help putting the abuser in prison, then you can choose to come forward and identify yourself to police. At that point, you can share with police your documentation of all the abuse you have observed.