How to Pick the Perfect Gift for Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend in Middle School

Last Updated: December 21, 2022

It’s so fun to give someone you care about a gift. While it’s always the thought that counts, you always hope that they love your present. It can be difficult to think of something that they will want, but don’t already have. When it is for a boyfriend or girlfriend, it can be especially difficult to choose a gift. You want to give a gift that is reflective of how you feel for them without being too extravagant.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Determining the Type of Gift

1
Assess the seriousness of the relationship. If you just started dating, you don’t want to give a huge gift. If you’ve been dating for a while, giving just a card will come across as rude or uncaring. Determine what the last gift-giving occasion was for the two of you. What did you receive from them? Let that help you gauge the type of gift you should give.
- If the last thing they gave you was a cool book, you could give them a book or movie in return, but you probably shouldn't give them a nice watch or piece of jewelry.
- If the last gift you received from them was incredibly thoughtful, like a photograph in a frame, or homemade cookies, you should go for a similarly thoughtful and personalized gift, and not something impersonal, like a gift card.
2
Decide what the occasion warrants. Giving a birthday present is very different from giving a Valentine's Day gift. If you are giving a gift because of an accomplishment (they were just in a play, they made a team, etc.) that may be cause for a different type of gift. Take stock of the situation and decide if you should purchase a sweet or romantic gift, a "thinking of you" gift, a fun gift, or something similar.
- A birthday gift will most likely be opened in front of an audience. Birthday gifts are normally not as romantic or deeply personal as a Valentine's Day or anniversary gift.
- If the gift is for an accomplishment, consider the accomplishment. Flowers are appropriate for many performing arts occasions, while nice pens or certificate holders may be more appropriate for an academic achievement.
Advertisement
3
Consider an experience gift. Regardless of how long you’ve been dating, an experience gift could be one way to show you remembered and that you care without having to decide how big of a purchase you should make. These can be as simple as going bowling or mini golfing if that is something they love to do, or as elaborate as going to see their favorite band in concert.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Science even says that recipients value these gifts more, because they can look back at the memories with fondness for a long time to come.
- Don't worry about making the experience lavish or expensive. It is the thought that counts. All that matters is that you both have a good time.
4
Set a budget for a purchased gift. Based on what you decided in Step One, and if you decided an experience gift wasn’t right for you, set a budget for your gift. This will help narrow down your options and guide your decision-making. Are your parents willing to help? Did they tell you how much they would give you? Or are you paying for this out of your allowance or with money from a job? Have that number in mind going forward.
- Your budget will need to cover the gift, any batteries or necessary accessories, and wrapping paper/gift bags.
- Alternatively, make the gift yourself! Bake some cookies or make a scrapbook. If your gift is thoughtful, they won't mind if it wasn't expensive.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Learning Their Style and Preferences

1
Take note of their interests. A great source of inspiration could be their general interests. Use this information to decide what gift to give. By using this method, you can be confident they will like their gift. ^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Look in their locker for ideas—what posters or photos do they display? Those could be clues as to what else they may like.
- Are they in clubs? Do they always talk about certain topics? Use all of this information to decide what gift to give. Take note as to how excited they get when speaking about certain things to know what are the best gifts.
2
Solve a problem. One way to get a gift they are sure to love is to solve a problem for them. This could be a gift that they’ve been meaning to purchase for themselves but always forget, or it could just solve one of life’s little annoyances or make a task easier for them. ^{[3]
X
Research source}
- Are they always complaining about needing something for their locker? That is something they will appreciate, and it shows you listen.
- Have you noticed their wallet is falling apart, or they are always losing their pens? A new wallet or a cool set of pens with something to hold them in would solve those problems!
3
Slip questions into conversation that will give you more ideas. Leading up to the occasion, listen intently in conversations and ask follow up questions that would give you additional gift ideas to consider. When done naturally, they won’t even notice you are asking because you are thinking of what to give them!
- If you're talking about bands, you could ask, "Why don’t you have any posters or t-shirts?” They may say they want them, or they may say they don’t like the band that much.
- If a topic comes up briefly in conversation, ask for their opinion: “My family likes to go bowling a lot. Do you like bowling, or do you prefer mini golf?”

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Selecting and Packaging the Gift

1
Go shopping! This is the fun part! Now that you have your ideas, ask your parents or a friend if they can take you to a store to buy your gift. Have several solid ideas before you go, so if the store doesn't carry one item, or if you find it is out of your budget, you still have another option. Once at the store, look for your gift and make your purchase!
- If the gift needs other items to work, like batteries or cables, get those as well. This way, they can use their gift right away.
- Check online for specific items that you may not find in a store, such as sold-out figures. Ask your parents for permission first, however.
2
Wrap your gift or place it into a gift bag. Square or rectangular items, like books or DVDs, can be wrapped or tucked into a gift bag. Stick with gift bags for other items, such as teddy bears or candy. Add a ribbon or a bow to make the package look prettier.
- A wrapped gift will be the easiest to hide in your bag; just add the bow at the last minute so that it doesn't get crushed.
- A gift bag is another great option, as long as you don't mind carrying it around. You could also just leave it in your locker.
- Use colors or themes you know they like. For example, if you know they like superheroes, choose something with a picture of their favorite action hero on it.
3
Add a card. Many people keep cards as mementos. A card is a great place to briefly write why you gave them a present ("Happy Birthday!" or "Congratulations on your leading role!") and let them know why you chose that gift or what they mean to you.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- You should still give them a card, even if it's an experience gift, like a movie. Mention the experience in the card so that they'll have something to remember.
- You can buy your card at a store, or you can make one yourself. Even if you aren't very crafty, you can make one using a computer and fun pictures.