This article was co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP. Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University.
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Sometimes great friends become great lovers. The thing is though, the other person has to feel the same way. You can't make that person want you in a more intimate way; there has to be a meeting of minds and desires. So, if you've had an epiphany and feel that your guy friend is suddenly the one for you in the love stakes, you'll need to tread with care.
Steps
Checking Out His Current Status
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1Be certain that he's free from commitment. It's no good barging in on an existing relationship he has with someone else, proclaiming that he's making a mistake by not choosing you instead. Not only will this seem very out-of-the-blue to him but it's possible that your friendship won't recover if he sees this as an act to destabilize an existing relationship.
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2If he is dating someone right now, back off. Nurture your friendship. If you still feel this way down the track and he breaks off with this person, you'll be there for him. If he doesn't break it off, then friendship it was meant to be. Hollywood movies aside, it is just not that helpful to go around busting up your friend's love life.
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3If he had an ex recently, find out whether he is over the ex yet. If he still has a fire for his ex, you don't want him as a beau. So, how do you find out? Ask him! Do it casually, as part of your usual conversations. Get him to talk about his feelings for his ex, whether they're good or bad. Get him to reveal whether he's seen his ex lately, if they still keep in touch, and so forth. If he's not over his ex yet, back off. If he is, then consider him available (with caution, of course).
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4If you've recently had an ex, reassure him that you're over this person. Let your guy friend know in no uncertain terms that you are 100 percent over that "person" who broke your heart. Still being hung up on an ex is a major deterrent for any person seeking a close relationship; nobody wants the drama and disappointment that comes with that. Hence, if you want this guy friend to know that you're available, make your relationship health status very clear.
Revealing Your Interest
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1Hint to your guy friend that you're interested. Let your guy friend know how highly you think of him and how much you think he would make a great boyfriend for someone one day. It is a subtle yet obvious enough clue to hear that you think he would actually make a fabulous boyfriend.
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2Ask him out on a date. But don't call it a date. In its place, invite him out to the movies one night, as friends. If he asks you out the following weekend and you ask him about again, the next thing you know, you both will find yourself dating.
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3Text and e-mail him. Send him comical text messages and e-mails. It's a fantastic way to build your friendship and future relationship. Guys want to feel that they can be themselves with you. By letting all hang out, you're letting him know that you're fun and cool at the same time.
Warnings
- If he seems uncomfortable, take a step back.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Don't stalk him.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Don't take it too far.⧼thumbs_response⧽
About This Article
It can be confusing to realize you like your guy friend, but with some careful planning, you can increase your chances of making him your boyfriend! Start giving your guy friend subtle hints to let him know you’re interested. For example, you could casually mention that he'd make a great boyfriend. You should also ask him to hang out one-on-one more often. You could invite him to the movies or out to dinner. When you're not together, make time to text or email him, since this will show you've been thinking about him. If he doesn’t respond to your hints, or if you think he’s interested in someone else, back off and take a break. In the meantime, focus on nurturing your friendship. If it’s meant to be it will happen eventually! To learn how to figure out if you really like him or if it’s a passing crush, read on!