How to Make a Guy Addicted to You over Text

Co-authored by Cher Gopman and Nihal Shetty

Last Updated: November 30, 2022 References

In the texting stage with a guy and not sure how to get him hooked? It can be tricky figuring out the right thing to say in order to get a guy to chase you. But texting a guy should feel fun, not stressful, and we’re here to show you easy ways to keep a guy interested over text. We’ve got you covered with a guide on how to make a guy addicted to you over text.

1

Be available (but not too available).

Guys want what they can’t have, so keep some distance. When he’s wondering “When are they going to text back?” or “How much do they like me?” you’re starting to get him hooked. This can backfire if you’re constantly counting down the minutes until you text him though, so keep yourself busy with work, friends, or other activities.
- Try not to keep him waiting too long, or he might end up moving on. Take 30 minutes to an hour to respond to his initial texts, but feel free to text him more quickly if you’re having a conversation.
- Remember—to play hard to get, you always have to text back at some point to show that you're interested.^{[1]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- This can feel like you’re playing games, and in a way, you are. But so long as you keep things harmless, and don’t go out of your way to make him feel insecure, it’s okay to keep him waiting for a little.
- Besides, if you seem too available, it might be a turn-off.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}

2

Stick to upbeat messages.

Giving off positive energy is very attractive. Guys want to spend time with people who make them feel good and uplifted, so try to stay upbeat with your messages. It’s normal to want to vent when you’ve had a rough day, but save that for when you have a closer relationship with him and talk to your friends or family instead. If he asks you how you’re doing, say something like:^{[3]
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- “Can’t complain—surrounded by good people and enjoying some good weather.”
- “Things have been a little rocky this morning, but I’m ready to turn things around this afternoon.”
- “I’m doing as good as ever—there are a lot of great things happening.”
Expert Answer

Q

How do I know what to talk about when I text a guy?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

EXPERT ADVICE

Answer from Cher Gopman:

Try to find some common ground between something you've been doing and something he's been doing. This way, you can possibly mention doing something together in the future.

3

Send him a funny text.

Humor is the key to the heart. Studies have shown that having a good sense of humor is among the most attractive qualities in both men and women, so showing yours off is a great way of building your chemistry. Try building inside jokes over text—they’re a great way of signaling that you have something special together. It’s okay to be a little cheesy—send him something like:^{[4]
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- “I’d love to see you, but I’m also enjoying learning how to be more patient. If I keep this up much longer I think I’ll reach spiritual enlightenment.”
- “Dad joke time: What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.”
- A meme or funny video is a great option too, so send one over.

4

Flirt with him.

Spicy texts will definitely catch his attention. Flirting makes texting so much more exciting, and is something you should sprinkle into your conversations every few days or so. That way, you can remind him of your sexual chemistry while building your friendship at the same time—a really intoxicating combination. Send him messages like:
- “Had a dream about you last night but I think I should probably keep the details to myself…”
- “Has kissing you been on my mind all day? Maybe.”
- “Just made my bed, wondering who could help me mess it up again.”
- Try not to be too touchy-feely or sexual when you first start talking—this can give off the wrong vibe to somebody.^{[5]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}

5

Give him a compliment.

Compliments make guys feel good and confident. Letting him know you think he looks good or that he has other qualities you like is something he’ll appreciate a lot more than you might think. Sending an occasional message like this is a good way to get him hooked:^{[6]
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- “Quick question—are you aware that you’re beautiful?”
- “It’s nice talking to someone as smart as you—I’m always learning new things.”
- “That shirt you wore today looked great on you.”

6

Ask him an interesting question.

Deeper conversations can create a more intimate connection. Getting him to open up about the things he believes and the way he sees the world is a good way to give your relationship more substance. That kind of relationship is something that a lot of guys really yearn for, so send him a question like:
- “Do you think it’s better to be good or to be successful?”
- “What is something that you’ve been taught that just isn’t true?”
- “Do you think most people under or overvalue themselves?”

7

Send him photos.

Visuals can keep texting from feeling boring. Send him photos of your adventures with friends or outside.^{[7]
X
Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} Showing him that you’re living an active life can get him to feel a bit of FOMO, and also make him think about what it would be like to share that life with you.
- You don’t need to send him nudes in order to keep his interest. If you do, make sure that you’re over the age of 18, that you trust him to not distribute them, and that you ask him if he wants them first.
- Don't be afraid to send a photo of somewhere you're located, somewhere interesting that you're visiting, or something that reminds you of him.^{[8]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}

8

Do him a favor.

He’ll appreciate your relationship more if you help him out. If he’s opened up to you about some of the problems that he’s dealing with, doing some legwork to help him find a solution is a great way to show him that you add a lot of value to his life. For example:
- If he’s been looking for a job, try sending him any job listings you find that could be of interest.
- If he’s seemed stressed out, invite him over for dinner.
- If he’s been dealing with family stress, offer to let him talk out his problems with you.

9

Let him know that you’re thinking about him.

It feels good to know that you’re on someone else’s mind. If you’re thinking about him 24/7 it’s probably best not to send him a message every time he enters your thoughts, but an occasional message can be really sweet. Try sending him something like:
- “Was just taking a walk and suddenly started thinking about you—hope things are good!”
- “I saw this guy at the coffee shop who I swore was you for a second. But then I realized I was wrong—you’re more handsome.”
- “I just read an article that reminded me of what you were saying about your life philosophy.”

10

Let him initiate the conversation sometimes.

Waiting for him to initiate makes you appear more independent. Don’t have him initiate every time—otherwise, it’ll look like you don’t care about him at all. But try to wait for him to initiate enough times that he’s reaching out to you first at least as often as you are to him. Playing a tiny bit hard-to-get can make you more attractive in his eyes.^{[9]
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- If you know he’s going through a stressful time with work, school, or other responsibilities, it’s okay to initiate a conversation with him to check-in. This shows him that you care about him even when he’s too busy to start conversations with you.

11

Tell him that you appreciate him.

If he feels appreciated, he’s more likely to appreciate you. Being honest about the fact that you like having him in your life makes your relationship feel more genuine to him. These kinds of genuine relationships are tough to give up, so it’s a great way to keep him invested. Say something like:^{[10]
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- “Just wanted to say that I really value you a lot.”
- “I’m so happy that we met.”
- “You’ve become really important to me, so thanks for that.”

Expert Q&A

Question

What are good ideas to talk about over text?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try to find some common ground between something you've been doing and something he's been doing. This way, you can possibly mention doing something together in the future.
Question

What should you not do when flirting?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Don't talk about yourself too much! Some people end up rambling on about themselves because they want to generate interest, but they end up talking so much about themselves that they seem conceited and disinterested in the other person.