How to Make Up Comebacks when Somebody Calls You Fat

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: November 3, 2022

If people call you fat, it can really sting. No one really likes having their physical appearance torn apart by others. If someone calls you fat, there are many ways to respond. You can respond with a joking comment of your own and your wit may surprise the person who called you fat. You can also tell the person that their comments are inappropriate. Work on coping emotionally after the fact. Negative comments about your body hurt so you should seek support from loved ones.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Responding in Jest

1
Use sarcasm. Sometimes, people who pick on others don't expect much of a response. Try throwing in some sarcasm, as this may surprise the person bullying you. People often target those they think will just take abuse, so a sarcastic comment can stop a bully in their tracks.
- For example, pretend the insult was actually a compliment. Say something like, "Wow! Thank you so much for noticing. I really appreciate it."^{[1]
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2
Make a rude quip back. You can respond to a specific comment with a specific, sarcastic comment.^{[2]
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Research source} For example, if someone says something like, "You have such a pretty face. It's a shame about your weight." Try to respond with something like, "You have a great face too. It's a shame about your personality."
- Be careful, however, not to make comments that are too biting, especially if you're not in a place where you feel safe. You don't want to end up putting your safety at risk.
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3
Tease them about their lack of credentials. Someone else's weight is between them and their doctor. Another person has no right to comment on your weight if they don't have medical training. Call attention to this. This will make the other person feel silly at having raised the issue.
- For example, say you're in ninth grade and someone in your class says something like, "You could really use to lose about 30 pounds." Respond with something like, "Wow! I can't believe you've been through medical school and you're only 14. Because only a doctor could possibly know how much weight I need to lose."
4
Consider simply not responding. Sometimes, it's best not to offer a comeback. Some bullies thrive on a reaction. If you've responded with witty comebacks and are still getting teased, start simply ignoring the bullies. See if this deters them from targeting you in the future.^{[3]
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- If someone makes a rude comment about your weight, pretend like you did not hear it. If they continue to make rude comments, simply leave the room.
- If you need to cry after ignoring someone, that's okay. It's normal to feel bad if someone hurts your feelings. While you can ignore a bully in the moment, let your feelings out later if necessary.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Addressing the Situation Seriously

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Tell the person their comment is inappropriate. Sometimes, a person needs to hear that their comment was inappropriate. If someone makes a comment that hurts your feelings, tell them directly what they did wrong. People who tease others for their weight are often taken aback to be called out on their behavior.
- Be very frank. Turn to the person and say something like, "There is nothing funny about what you said. It's extremely rude to comment on my weight and I do not appreciate it."
- You can also turn it around on them with a piece of solid advice, "Cutting me down to increase your self-esteem is not healthy. Perhaps you should find another way to address those issues."
- You can also ask the person questions about their behavior. For example, "Why do you feel the need to put down my body? What good does that do for you?"
2
Explain to people your health is your own business. Not everyone who calls you fat is trying to hurt your feelings. While this does not justify the behavior, some people think their comments may be helpful to your health and well-being.^{[4]
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Research source} Make it clear this is not the case if you believe someone is trying to help you with their comments.
- Say something like, "I appreciate your concern, but my health is between me and my doctor. If I ever wanted diet or nutrition advice, that's who I would ask."
- If the person persists, say something like, "You know, this really is not an appropriate conversation and I don't appreciate it."
3
Remind them every body is different. No two bodies are the same, and you should remind others this is something to celebrate. Show them you are proud of your body and they may be less likely to harass you. Say something like, "I like my body the way it is, even if you don't. I'm happy with who I am, so your opinion does not matter much to me."
4
Establish boundaries for the future. If you're dealing with a friend or loved one who is calling you fat, establish firm boundaries for the future. No one should have to put up with someone constantly putting down their weight. If the behavior does not change, you may want to reevaluate your relationship with that person. People in your life should build you up not tear you down or insult you.
- Let the person know what kind of behavior you will not tolerate in your relationship. For example, say something like, "Commenting on my weight is not okay and I'm not going to put up with it. I especially will not tolerate being called names, like fat."
- Remind the person of your boundaries as necessary as time goes on. For example, if the person makes a comment about your weight again, say something like, "We talked about this. Those comments are not appreciated."

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Coping Emotionally

1
Do not get into a heated argument. While sarcastic comments are okay, especially when you're being harassed, make sure not to bait someone into an argument. Stick to a brief, witty comeback over insulting the person.
- Yelling at the person or calling them names in return is unlikely to resolve the situation. Try to keep your cool, even if you're upset.
2
Seek support from friends. It's okay to be sad after someone calls you fat. It's natural for the comment to sting a little. Seek support from people who care about you.^{[5]
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- Find a trusted friend or family member to vent to. Try making plans to do something fun, like see a movie, with friends if you're reeling from the comment.
- Choose someone who's empathetic and a good listener.
3
Focus on positives. A comment about your weight can leave you feeling bad about yourself. After being on the receiving end of a negative comment about your weight, try to think about everything you like about yourself. Remember all the positive things people have said about you instead of focusing on a solitary negative comment.
- Try making a list. Write down every nice thing anyone has ever said to you. Refer to that instead of focusing on the negative comment about your weight.
4
Stay away from people who comment about your weight. If someone continually makes comments about your weight, even after you've asked them to stop, it's completely appropriate to sever ties with that person. It is never okay to continually criticize someone for their weight, and it's certainly not okay to call someone fat. If someone keeps violating your boundaries, it's okay to walk away.^{[6]
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- If the offender is a family member, this can be difficult. If your dad, for example, consistently makes comments about your weight, it may be hard to stay away from him. However, you can take a short break from the negative situation. You could excuse yourself and go to your room for a few minutes if your dad makes a comment about your weight.

Expert Q&A

Question

My parents keep calling me fat, even though I am trying to lose weight. I told them to stop, but they won't. How can I make them stop doing this?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

It’s difficult to understand why your parents would keep calling you that. They may think it’s motivating you or they get satisfaction from your reaction. If they think they are motivating you, let them know that you have a plan to lose weight and would appreciate their support. Follow that up with acceptable ways to support you. Negative name-calling and criticism never works for motivation, but they may not be aware of that. If they get satisfaction from your reaction, try not to give them a reaction. Another way to address the issue is to bring in another family member who can talk to your parents on your behalf or be present to support you when you tell your parents that name-calling actually interferes with your weight loss goals. They may be more likely to listen to someone else, and that third party could be a support person for you when you need to be encouraged after dealing with your parents.
Question

What happens if the person calling you fat is in the classroom with you, and you can't escape their name calling?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

If your school has an anti-bullying policy like most do, it may be appropriate to enlist the help of teachers, counselors or other staff. Your reaction to the bully says a lot about your character. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, especially If it gets to be too much and the coping mechanisms you have developed are not working.