How to Make People Fall in Love With You

Co-authored by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Last Updated: June 25, 2022 Approved

Have you ever noticed some people seem to be just loved by everyone? While you can't "make" any person do anything, you can encourage or influence people, persuading them through your charm that you're worth the effort too! By doing simple things like smiling, asking for help, and being flexible, you can get lots of people to love you and to love spending time with you too.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Using Body Language

1
Smile at people. Smiling is one of the most powerful ways to send a message to someone that you are friendly and loveable. The next time you meet someone new, just give them a big smile to show that you are friendly. You should receive a smile in return if the person is also friendly.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Professional Therapist
Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.} Make sure that your smile is relaxed and natural, not forced or exaggerated, or your smile might not get the result you were hoping for.^{[2]
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2
Flash your eyebrows. An eyebrow flash is also an effective way to signal to someone that you are friendly. An eyebrow flash is just a quick up and down of both of your eyebrows at the same time. It can be seen at a distance, so you can use it as you approach someone or from the other side of a large room.^{[3]
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3
Tilt your head to one side. Tilting your head slightly to one side also signals your friendliness, since it exposes your carotid artery. Your carotid artery is a highly vulnerable spot on your body, so humans interpret a tilted head as sign that you are a friend and that you see the other person as a friend too. Just don’t tilt your head too far to either side or it will look strange. A slight tilt is all you need.^{[4]
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4
Make eye contact. Eye contact can make the other person feel more comfortable and help you seem more approachable.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Professional Therapist
Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.} Just don't overdo it. You don’t need to stare at people, but you do need to make good eye contact with people when you are talking and listening to them. It is okay to look away now and then, but make sure that you hold their gaze for as long as they hold yours.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Talking to People

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Ask questions. People who pretend to know everything are not as well liked as people who are willing to ask for help. Asking questions gives other people the opportunity to help you and that makes them feel good. If you are unsure of something or just want to know what someone else thinks, ask questions to give them a chance to share their knowledge.^{[6]
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- Try to get people to talk about themselves. Research has shown that when people talk about themselves, they feel the same pleasure as when they eat or receive money.^{[7]
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2
Listen well. Active listening is a great way to get people to love you. The better you are at listening to people when they are talking, the more they will want to spend time talking with you. Practice active listening by nodding, using neutral phrases, and rephrasing what the speaker has just said.^{[8]
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- Demonstrate that you are listening by nodding your head and using neutral phrases, such as, "Uh-huh,” “I see,” and “Yes.”
- Demonstrate comprehension by rephrasing what the other person just said. For example, if a friend says, “I have been so busy this week,” you can say, “So you haven’t had any time for yourself lately.”
3
Joke around with people. Using humor is a great way to get people to love you too. If you know a good joke, share it with other people. If you are witty, make witty remarks. Just make sure that the humor you use is appropriate for the situation or you may end up offending someone. Look for little ways to make your companions laugh and they will love spending time with you.^{[9]
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4
Ask for help when you need it. People who are willing to ask for help when they need it are often interpreted as more likeable than people who pretend like they know how to do everything. Show that you are open to other people’s advice and suggestions by asking for help when you need it. Allowing people opportunities to share their expertise with you will make them feel good and love being around you because of how useful you make them feel.^{[10]
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5
Say nice things about other people. You can also use positive gossip in your favor to get people to love you. Instead of talking about what you don’t like about people, talk about what you do like about them. This will show others that you have a good opinion of others and that you might even be saying positive things about them as well.^{[12]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Using Your Personality

1
Maintain a positive attitude. Positivity attracts more positivity.^{[13]
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Expert Source

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Professional Therapist
Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.} If you are always complaining and being pessimistic, people will not want to spend much time with you. Instead, try to be positive and optimistic so that people will feel happier when they are with you. Focus on good things to discuss and steer clear of negative or depressing subjects.
2
Be flexible and easygoing. People who are easy to please are easier to love. Having a laid back attitude and being willing to go with the flow opens up possibilities for the people you spend time with. For example, if you are flexible and easygoing, you will be more willing to try a new restaurant or try a new activity. Try to adopt an open, laid back attitude to make people love spending time with you.^{[14]
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- Try asking what your friends want to do sometime and do whatever they want for the day.
3
Show that you care. Demonstrating to others that you are a caring person will make them love you even more. Talk about your passions, be considerate of your friends’ needs and feelings, and be kind to strangers. The more that people see you as a caring person, the more they will want to spend time with you and grow to love you.^{[15]
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- Always ask your friends how they are doing and show genuine interest in their response. Offer your support if they are having a bad day or in need of encouragement.
4
Help people without expecting a favor in return. To make people love you, it is important to help when people need you. But sometimes we help others with the expectation that they will return the favor sometime. Demonstrate your willingness to help without expecting a favor. Let them know that you are just happy that you can help and that you are there for them any time. Showing that you are selfless will make it even easier for people to love you.^{[16]
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Expert Q&A
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Question

How can I dress to look more approachable?

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Dress in up-to-date clothes that are appropriate for the occasion—you don't want to over or underdress. Wearing the color blue can actually make you seem more approachable, while wearing the color red can make you seem more intimidating.
Question

How can I come across as more likable?

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Be friendly and warm with people. Make eye contact from time to time without overdoing it, and smile. Smiling is a great way to break the ice and show people that you're friendly and trustworthy.

Warnings

Don't change your personality just to fit in. Make adjustments that enhance the best in you.

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Be patient, love isn't easy and can be difficult at times. Don't rush your love interest!

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