How to Look Great As a Gay Man

Last Updated: June 9, 2022 References

Men in general are more visually-oriented than women.^{[1]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source} Partly because of this, gay men often put more effort into their appearances compared to their straight counterparts. Despite stereotypes, however, there is no narrowly-defined way of looking great as a gay man.^{[2]
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Research source} The best way to look your best no matter your personal style is to stay healthy and be confident in yourself.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Getting Healthy

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Exercise regularly. Staying fit will make you look and feel great. You don't have to fit the perfect body-image obsessed stereotypes to hit the gym.^{[3]
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Research source} All men are recommended to strength train all major muscle groups at least twice a week. Strength training not only builds aesthetically-pleasing muscle, but it also burns calories more efficiently than most other exercises. Be sure to also get at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity or 75 minutes of high-intensity aerobic activity each week.^{[4]
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Trustworthy Source
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services
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- Many men are attracted to trim, muscular physiques. However, others prefer skinny or burly bodies. Don't feel pressured to conform to a certain standard of beauty.
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Eat a balanced diet. Make sure you're not taking in more calories than you're burning, which will vary depending on your weight and activity level. Green leafy vegetables, fresh fruits, whole grains, and lean protein like fish should make up the bulk of your diet. Avoid processed foods high in salt and refined sugar.^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source
Health.gov
Online collection of health and fitness standards set by the U.S. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion
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Get enough sleep. "Enough" sleep varies from person to person depending on natural circadian rhythms. The National Sleep Foundation recommends 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night for healthy adults.^{[6]
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- Fatigue directly impacts your looks by showing in your face as signs like dark circles under your eyes. Chronic sleeplessness can also make weight easier to gain and harder to lose over time.^{[7]
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See a physician regularly. Even if you don't feel sick, certain health problems can lower your energy and mood, keeping you from looking and feeling your best. Your doctor can screen for subtle health issues.
- Men ages 18 through 49 should have a preventive health visit every 2 years.^{[8]
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- Men who are 50 years or older should have a physical exam annually.^{[9]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Staying Well-Groomed

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Practice good hygiene. While some things will vary depending on your body type and personal style, you'll need to stick to some basics to avoid scaring most men away.
- Wear deodorant. Some men are lucky enough to have fewer sweat glands and may not need to use deodorant on a daily basis. However, most do. Reapply deodorant as needed, especially in warm weather or after exercise.
- Shower at least once a day. Use soap and water to rinse away dirt, dead skin, and bacterial buildup. Some people with fine or oily hair may need to shampoo daily, but most only need to wash their hair a few times a week or even less. Just don't go more than 14 days without a shampoo.^{[10]
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- Keep your nails clean and free from dirt. Your nails can be any length, shape, or color you prefer. If your nails are longer, buff out breaks with a nail file to keep them from snagging on hair and clothing.
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Maintain facial hair properly. Facial hair grows at different rates between men. However, most men who shave do so each morning.
- Even if you sport a full beard, you will need to shape it to look sharp. Shave or pluck away stray hairs on your face or below your neckline.
- While stubble is currently popular, avoid growing it out too far to avoid looking unkempt.
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Take care of your skin. Smooth, healthy skin has universal appeal. Keep yours looking its best. This doesn't mean you have to go overboard with lotions and creams. There are, however, some basics you should cover.
- Moisturize after you shower. Hydrated skin reduces the appearance of wrinkles.^{[11]
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- Protect your skin from the sun. Sun damage can cause premature aging in your skin. Wear a sunscreen with an SPF of 15 or above.^{[12]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Dressing Well

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Wear clothing that fits. This is probably the only universal rule of fashion. Wearing perfectly fitted clothing makes you appear more put together and mature, even if you're just wearing a T-shirt and jeans. If you have unique proportions that make shopping difficult, try bringing your clothes to a tailor for alterations.^{[13]
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Dress for the occasion. Wearing clothing inappropriate for a situation may make you appear unprepared or foolish. You may not be the type of guy who wears a suit every day; just make sure you own one for when you're expected to wear it.
- For more formal occasions like a job interview or wedding, stick to a dark matching suit. Your dress shirt and tie can be colorful as long as they don't clash or look tacky.
- Business casual is a happy medium for when you want to look sharp without overdoing it. Wear a collared shirt, slacks, and dress shoes. Pair with a blazer for a smarter look or a sweater. Ties are optional. This is a good look for networking events, evening parties, and first dates.^{[14]
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- Casual wear covers just about everything else, such as the classic T-shirt and jeans look. This can be your day-to-day style.
- Cities with warmer climates may be more lax with dress codes. Nobody wants to wear a dark suit and jacket in extreme weather.
- If you aren't sure what to wear to an event, ask other men who will be there what they plan on wearing. If you're going to a restaurant or venue, try figuring out what's expected by looking up photos of the establishment online.
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Keep your clothes in good condition. No matter how much or how little you spend on your wardrobe, taking care of your clothing will keep them looking better for longer.
- Learn how to sew to be able to make minor repairs on the fly. If you really can't stitch, have someone who can mend minor damage before it becomes major.
- Iron your dress shirts. Wrinkles make you look sloppy.
- Find a good local cleaner. Some types of clothing you shouldn't do yourself. A professional will know how to remove tough stains and get your clothes looking great again.^{[15]
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- Avoid wearing clothes with stains and holes in them.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Being Confident

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Maintain good posture. Sit and stand with your back straight. Keep your shoulders back.
- Good posture conveys poise and confidence. Even when you don't feel confident, projecting confidence to the world makes you more attractive.
- Some studies show that good posture can act as a positive feedback loop when it comes to confidence. Maintaining good posture can actually boost your mood and build confidence on its own.^{[16]
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Remember that other men may be just as nervous as you are. Keep this in mind if you have a lot of anxiety and feel intimidated by a potential partner. Even the most confident people can hide insecurity. Reminding yourself that it's ok to feel nervous will help you to keep it from showing through.
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Make and hold eye contact longer. If your confidence is low, it may be difficult to make proper eye contact with others. Holding your gaze for the appropriate amount of time will make you appear more confident, likeable, and attractive to the other person.
- When you're speaking with someone one-on-one, make eye contact for 7-10 seconds before looking elsewhere. If you're in a group, this should be 3-5 seconds.^{[17]
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- When breaking contact, look to the side or up slightly to appear confident and self-assured. Looking down at your shoes makes you seem anxious or submissive.^{[18]
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- Don’t make eye contact for too long. When you "stare," you can come off as intimidating or creepy.^{[19]
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Love and accept yourself for who you are. The more comfortable you are with yourself, the easier building confidence will be. Even if great self-esteem doesn’t come naturally to you, there are many ways of cultivating it on your own.
- Exercise mindfulness and positive self-talk. This can be as simple as telling yourself a few affirmations every morning in the mirror. Avoid admonishing yourself when you make a mistake and instead simply resolve to do better next time.^{[20]
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- Write down a list of things you like about yourself. Read it every time you need to cheer up.
- Set realistic goals. Pick things that you know you can do with some effort. (For example, "learn how to mountain climb" rather than "climb Mount Everest.") Celebrate each step on your way to fulfill that goal.

Community Q&A

Question

How do I know if my breath smells during a date?

Community Answer

Go to the bathroom and lick your wrist. When it dries, smell it; that's what your breath smells like.
Question

How can I keep myself active?

Community Answer

If you are lazy (like myself), I recommend dancing. It could be in a studio, or your living room while watching reruns of "Dancing With the Stars." You can watch your favorite dance and try to perfect it. If you aren't into that, try at-home yoga, or go for a run in the early morning before school or work.
Question

How do I look my best if I'm a trans man?

Community Answer

Be confident and wear bright colors. That said, you need to wear what makes you feel confident.