How to Look Good in Front of Your Crush

Co-authored by Lisa Shield

Last Updated: November 28, 2021 References

Nearly everyone will have a crush at some point in their lives. That feeling of being interested in a likely oblivious person can make you feel equal parts thrilled and nervous. If you want to impress your crush by looking your best, the most important thing you can do is to simply relax. However, in such a situation that is much easier said than done. Just keep in mind a few basic things to help you stay smooth and let your beautiful self shine through.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Knowing the Do's

1
Make sure you have a friend or two close by. Avoid one-on-one encounters with your crush until you've practiced getting your nerves under control. Hanging around in a group setting will take a lot of pressure off of you and make you feel a lot less self-conscious. Even if they don't know about your crush, your friends being there will lend the moral support you'll need to relax. Studies have shown that people look more attractive next to other people/in a crowd than all alone.
2
Try dressing up a bit if you think you may run into your crush. You don't have to go overboard. But if you overheard that your crush may be heading to the same party as you? Wear your best jeans rather than the comfortable pair with one hole too many. The worst case scenario means you just spent the night looking marvelous for everyone else.

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3
Wear sunglasses if you have trouble making eye contact. Eye contact can be difficult when you're nervous. Constantly staring at your shoes when your crush is around is decidedly uncool. A pair of sunglasses will make things easier by letting you appear to look directly at your crush without actually having to make eye contact.
- Don't wear shades at night or indoors. Above all, you want to look natural in front of your crush. People don't normally wear sunglasses away from the sun. Your shades may look out of place and draw unwanted attention.
- If you can look your crush in the eye, skip the shades. Maintaining eye contact makes you look more confident. It can also subtly single to your crush that you're interested without saying a word.^{[1]
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4
Keep your breathing even and steady. Controlled breathing works two-fold: It keeps you mentally relaxed and prevents you from getting winded. When people are nervous, the jitters can often show up in their voice and they may find themselves gasping for air while standing still.
- If you feel yourself starting to blush, breathe deeply through your nose. Deep breathing will calm you and reduce flushing in your face.^{[2]
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5
Be a good conversationalist. Talk about topics you're knowledgeable about and ask your crush about what interests him or her. Try to make sure everyone involved in a conversation gets a roughly equal amount of time to speak. Ask your crush questions about his or her goals and aspirations.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.} Try to stick to positive topics, and answer questions about yourself freely. You don't need to be guarded to look good in front of your crush.^{[4]
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- Use these conversations as an opportunity to learn more about your crush so that you can make an educated decision about a possible future relationship.^{[5]
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  Lisa Shield
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.} You may find out that the two of you are incompatible. Or, you may find out that your crush already has a significant other or is not attracted to people of your gender. If that's the case, you will need to let your crush go.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Avoiding the Don'ts

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Keep yourself from pretending to be someone you're not. When we want someone to like us, it can be tempting to put on a persona you think your crush wants in a significant other. While pretending to share interests and viewpoints may win your crush over in the short-term, you won't be able to build a real relationship from white lies. It's better to be honest and stay yourself. Instead of pretending to know everything about his or her favorite hobby, share something about your own. ^{[6]
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2
Try not to be a showoff. People are attracted to confidence, not narcissism. If you're trying to build yourself up in front of a person you like it can be easy to go overboard. Bragging about your accomplishments will simply make you look insecure. Don't be shy to mention your talents but only if it's something that organically comes up in conversation. If it's not something you can picture yourself saying to a group of friends without cringing, don't say it. ^{[7]
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- An example of what to avoid while still looking your best: If you were accepted to a prestigious university and you've heard your crush is attracted to intelligence, you may feel tempted to tell him or her. Mentioning your acceptance when it is irrelevant to the conversation is definitely showing off. Depending on how exclusive the school may be, you even simply bringing up the topic of college plans may come off as bragging. Wait until the subject is brought up organically in conversation to tell your crush about this achievement. He or she will probably be impressed with both your intelligence and humility.
3
Be sure to avoid literally showing off. Under normal circumstances, you may be able to do a backflip with ease. Around your crush, you may be nervous enough to flub your moves. Wait until you're relaxed before showing your crush a neat trick that has the potential to embarrass.
4
Avoid gossip and negative talk in general. Discussing other people's negative traits will actually make your crush perceive those same bad traits in you. Instead, talk positively of other people to make the reverse come true.^{[8]
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PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
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- This is especially important if you and your crush don't know each other very well. While gossiping you may let a careless judgmental word slip that seriously offends your crush. Also, even if you barely ever indulge in damaging gossip, a crush who hasn't been around you long won't know that. Make your crush's first impressions of you positive ones.^{[9]
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Expert Q&A

Question

What can I do if my crush tries to pay for everything all the time?

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.

Lisa Shield

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Take a deep breath and try to understand that this is part of his masculine personality. It's basically his way of taking care of you. It's up to you to learn how to open up to that and receive it. It's a gift.