How to Know when You Have Chemistry with a Guy

Co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD and Kai Hynes

Last Updated: June 22, 2022 References

If you’ve been hanging out with a guy but aren't sure how he feels about you, recognizing signs of chemistry between you can reveal a lot. “Chemistry” refers to physical and emotional gestures that people subconsciously do when they’re around someone they’re interested in. In other words, they’re clues you can look for to see if a guy is into you! Read for some common signs of chemistry that men show.

1

He makes eye contact with you.

Look for a sparkle in his eyes when you talk. People look into each other’s eyes when they’re really invested in what the other person is saying. When you have chemistry, it’s different: there’s a gentleness in their eyes, almost like a sparkle.^{[1]
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Research source} Next time you’re talking, see if his eyes light up when you look at each other.
- If his eyes don’t “sparkle,” see if he gives you a “look” he doesn’t give anyone else.
- For example, he might raise his eyebrows or stare really intensely at you.^{[2]
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2

He angles his body toward you.

See if he leans in to talk to you. People often physically open up to others during conversations when they’re interested in them. They might face their torso toward you and lean in close while talking and listening to you.^{[3]
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Research source} Check to see if he seems relaxed and confident enough to get close while you’re together.
- Some guys are less confident than others! He might not open up his body, and instead be more fidgety.^{[4]
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- If he’s a nervous person, check to see if he plays with his hair a lot, or constantly crosses and uncrosses his legs.

3

He copies your body language.

Watch if he mirrors your movements while listening to you. Copying someone’s body language is a sign of attraction and intrigue. While you’re talking and he’s listening, does he shift his arms or legs when you do? Does he lean in when you do? He might be so focused on what you’re saying that he doesn’t realize he’s copying you!^{[5]
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- The same goes for facial expressions. Does he smile when you smile? Frown when you frown?^{[6]
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- Try telling him a story with a lot of emotion and see how he reacts while listening.

4

He wants to be close to you.

Notice when he sits next to you or touches your hand. Guys like to be physically close to people they’re attracted to, even when it might seem silly. This can sometimes even result in touching!^{[7]
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Research source} If he ever touches you or seems like he wants to, and you feel the same way, that’s chemistry.
- Some people show this in subtler ways than others. Remember: not everyone is super confident!
- For example, he might have difficulty pulling away from a hug, or sit on the same side of a table as you.
- If he touches your back or holds your hand, he’s probably super interested.^{[8]
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5

He teases you.

Keep track of how often you poke fun at each other. You know how kids can be a little “mean” to their crushes? Some things never change! Fun, harmless teasing can still show that you’re trying to get each other’s attention. Cute nicknames, playful banter, and silly imitations of each other are all actually signs of chemistry.^{[9]
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- Teasing should be fun for both of you, and never actually be mean!

6

He flirts with you.

Listen to how he speaks with you versus other people. It may seem obvious, but flirting is a really important sign of chemistry you can notice right away. When you talk with each other, does it feel like you’re having a secret conversation in public that no one else can hear? If so, there’s probably something special happening between you.^{[10]
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- The content of “flirting” can look different for different people.
- For example, some guys might speak intimately with you, while others might just want to make you smile.
- Some might love laughing at your jokes that even you don’t think are that funny!^{[11]
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7

He speaks with a lot of emotion.

Watch if his gestures are expressive in front of you. Even though guys tend to be less expressive overall, their faces, bodies, and voices show more emotion toward people they’re attracted to.^{[12]
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Research source} Take note of how he speaks to you compared to other people. If you can see that he looks and sounds more excited with you, chances are he feels comfortable with you.
- Generally speaking, these expressions are happy and excited.
- For example, he might smile a lot, raise his eyebrows, or talk loudly.
- The guy pays a lot of attention to every detail and makes sure that you’re feeling happy with him? That's a great chemistry sign!

8

He talks like you.

See if he uses the same words and tone as you. Studies show that people growing close to each other start matching the pitch, pace, and pronunciation of how they speak.^{[13]
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Research source} In other words, if he’s interested in you, he’ll start talking like you without even realizing it!
- For example, he might use the same slang as you, or speak at a similar volume or speed.

9

He talks about future plans together.

Listen for mentions of “next dates” together. People who talk like they’re already expecting to hang out in the future can indicate how serious they are about getting closer. You can gauge this through his word choice, too! Take note of whether he uses words like “we” and “us” when referring to the both of you and making possible plans together.^{[14]
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- Listen closely for personable language versus detached language.
- For example, “our” versus “the” in reference to plans.

10

He puts a smile on your face.

Notice if you both seem giddy around each other. Do you catch yourself smiling and laughing more than usual with him? Does he seem like he’s extra happy around you, too? You might not even have to be around each other: just the thought of him makes you smile!^{[15]
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Research source} Having fun and feeling good around each other is a definite sign of chemistry.
- This is especially significant for guys, since they tend to be less expressive with people they don’t feel close to after childhood.^{[16]
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- Bonus points if you see a big toothy grin, or he smiles so big that it crinkles up his whole face.

11

You feel butterflies in your stomach.

Nerves aren’t always a bad thing. Your body reacts the same way to feelings of nervousness and excitement. A racing heartbeat, sweaty palms, and butterflies in your stomach are all the result of the same chemical reactions. If you notice you feel anxious around each other, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re scared of each other - quite the opposite, actually!^{[17]
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- Being nervous around each other is different from being uncomfortable.
- In other words, you should still feel excited about seeing each other!

12

You feel tension between you two.

Attraction can make things a little awkward at times. Maybe you feel that whenever you spend time together, it feels like you’re both waiting for something to happen, like a kiss or something more.^{[18]
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Research source} Take note of these feelings, but remember that there’s no need to rush anything. Tension can make the wait for where your relationship is going all the more exciting!
- Tension can also make people nervous, so give each other some space if you need it.
- On the other hand, tension can make people eager to act! Do what feels right for both of you.
- Once you feel comfortable enough around each other, you can try having a conversation about your desires and expectations.

13

You lose your sense of time with him.

The world might feel like it’s passing you by. When you’re invested in someone, it can feel like time doesn’t matter. This can happen when you’re both completely focused on a conversation you’re having or an activity you’re doing together. Chances are, chemistry is what’s causing you both to live in your own little bubble!^{[19]
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- One way this shows up is by feeling comfortable with silences in conversations.
- Remember that even though it may not feel like it, there’s still an outside world to attend to!

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you know if the other person feels the chemistry?

Kristina Mirgorodskaya
Dating Expert
Kristina Mirgorodskaya is a Dating Coach and the Marketing Director of Amiccio, a New York City social app that helps singles make new connections. Amiccio connects singles by hosting parties, socials, beginners salsa, bachata, and tango classes, and speed dating events. With over four years of experience, Kristina specializes in leveraging people skills, cultivating welcoming environments, and intercultural communication. Her expertise allows her to easily bring people together. Kristina earned a degree in business from Baruch College.

Kristina Mirgorodskaya

Dating Expert

Expert Answer

You can see how much he cares for you—for instance, he'll keep in touch with you until you get home, or offer support when you need it.