What Is the Honeymoon Phase & Is It Real?

Co-authored by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS and Eric McClure

Last Updated: May 4, 2022 References

Wondering if the honeymoon phase is actually a thing? Are you in a new relationship and trying to figure out whether it’s true love or the novelty of something new? We’ll help you identify what you’re feeling and explain what you’re going through. In this article, we’ve compiled everything you could possibly need to know about the honeymoon phase. We’ll even cover what comes next!

Section 1 of 6:

Is the honeymoon phase real?

Yes, the honeymoon phase is 100% real. The honeymoon phase refers to the early stage of a new relationship where everything is super exciting and fun. It’s an identifiable and observable phenomenon, and there’s evidence that everybody in a new relationship goes through it at the start.
- While the honeymoon phase is essentially universal, it’s not the same for everybody. For some people, the honeymoon phase is super exhilarating, while it’s more of a subdued experience for others.
- Scientifically, the honeymoon phase is where the joy of a new relationship floods your brain with dopamine—the hormone responsible for pleasure. Seeing, thinking about, or touching your partner literally causes your brain to fill with good vibes!^{[1]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Cleveland Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}

Section 2 of 6:

How long does the honeymoon phase last?

It can last anywhere from a few months to a few years. For some people, the honeymoon phase will last 3-6 months. For others, it might last up to 3 years! It depends on how much time you spend with your partner and how fast you get to know them. It also depends on how long it takes you to become attached to people. Regardless of how long it takes, enjoy it while it lasts!^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- While there isn’t any concrete data out there, most people seem to experience the honeymoon phase for around 6 months.
- Over time, the dopamine in your head slowly fades as it’s replaced with oxytocin and vasopressin, which are hormones responsible for feelings of attachment and comfort.^{[3]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Cleveland Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}

Section 3 of 6:

How do you know you’re in the honeymoon phase?

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You think that everything your partner does is awesome. During the honeymoon phase, your partner can do no wrong. You don’t notice that they chew with their mouth open, or they sing off-key in the shower. Everything about them is just the absolute best thing you’ve ever seen and you don’t find a single flaw in your partner.^{[4]
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You keep learning new things about your partner. Part of what makes the honeymoon phase so exciting is that you don’t know everything about your partner yet, so you have so much to find out! Turning over every new bit of information is so captivating and interesting. You can tell you’re in the honeymoon phase when you’re peppering them with questions and learning new things.^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- If you find yourself daydreaming about what your partner might do in their spare time, where they grew up, or what they want to be when they’re older, you’re 100% in the honeymoon phase.
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You’re nervous around them in an exhilarating kind of way. If your stomach is filling with butterflies every time you see your partner, you’re in the honeymoon phase. You might alternate between feeling scared that you’re going to screw things up, and feeling so excited by the prospect of the relationship that you can’t sit still.^{[6]
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- During the honeymoon period, your brain releases a higher level of cortisol—the hormone responsible for stress. It’s a good kind of stress, though! It’s a sign you want to impress your partner.^{[7]
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You daydream about the future of your relationship. Are you picturing what it would be like for you and your partner to move in together? Do you imagine you and your new partner getting married? If so, you’re in the honeymoon period. Fantasizing is a big sign that you’re crushing hard on your new partner.^{[8]
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- Try to not get ahead of yourself! The honeymoon period is a fun and exciting time, but you may not know if the relationship has legs or not.

Section 4 of 6:

Can you stay in the honeymoon phase forever?

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No, but you can still keep the passion and romance alive. The honeymoon phase is unique because the excitement is new. There’s a novel joy to imagining the road ahead with someone when you’ve just started dating, but you can only get to know someone for the first time once. Still, you can totally keep the energy from the honeymoon phase going!^{[9]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Keep communicating with your partner. Talk about what you need from one another so that you stay on the same page.
- Don’t stop dating each other! Dressing up and hitting the town every now and then can give you two something to continue looking forward to and a standing date night can keep the romance going.
- Explore things in the bedroom. Continuing to experiment with one another can keep things from going stale. Try roleplaying, explore new positions, or dress up for one another.
- Continue doing new things together. Pick up a hobby neither of you has ever tried, take road trips to somewhere you’d normally never go, and meet new couples to hang out with.
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It’s not a bad thing that the honeymoon period ends. The honeymoon phase can be a fun and exciting time, but it’s good for a relationship to grow past it. The end of the honeymoon period means the two of you have reached a point where you’re ready to build something serious and meaningful. Sure, it may not be as exciting as it once was, but there’s so much more to gain from something more intense.^{[10]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- The end of the honeymoon phase can also be disillusioning. If this period comes to a close and you and your partner stop clicking, it’s okay to end things and move on.

Section 5 of 6:

What happens after the honeymoon phase?

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Your relationship becomes deeper. Those late-night passionate conversations may cool off a bit, but it’s only because you two know one another so well that you don’t need to share everything. Your bond will become much deeper, and the two of you will start building a life together. The novelty may wear off, but that’s a sign that you’re ready to take things to the next level.^{[11]
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You take your relationship to the next level. Once the honeymoon phase is over, you and your partner will start discussing the future you want to build together. You may begin talking about moving in together, or discuss how many children you want in the future. This may feel a bit strange as your passion turns into something more intimate and serious, but it’s a big part of growing together!^{[12]
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You and your partner experience more stability. The intensity may fade a bit, but that should mean less chaos, too. You and your partner will feel much more grounded in your relationship, and the nerves should fade into mutual respect and routine. All of this is a part of growing closer.^{[13]
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- There may still be conflict, but the nature of your arguments might change. You might go from arguing over petty little arguments to disagreeing calmly over more meaningful questions—like where you want to move in together.
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You begin to miss the early days when things were fresh. It’s normal to mourn the honeymoon phase. The excitement of the early chase can be exhilarating, and now that it’s gone you may feel like something is wrong. Try not to get up in your head about it—these feelings will pass soon as you settle into the relationship.^{[14]
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- You can take a more objective look at the relationship once the honeymoon phase is over. This is where you can start figuring out if this is Mr. or Ms. Right or not.

Section 6 of 6:

How can you tell if it’s true love or the honeymoon phase?

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There’s no real way to know until after the honeymoon phase ends. It’s hard to know exactly how you feel when something is brand new. This is why so many relationships flame out after 3 to 6 months; you need to see your partner with clear eyes before you know how you truly feel. This isn’t to say that it can’t be love! It just that it may take time to figure it out for sure.^{[15]
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- Taking an inventory early on and trying to objectively identify whether your partner has any red flags or not can help you figure out whether this person is right for you or not.
- Anticipating the end of the honeymoon period and discussing it together can help you two prepare for it.
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The more intense the honeymoon phase, the less likely a relationship will last. There is some evidence that the more extreme the passion is early on, the less likely it is that a couple stays together. This may have to do with how extreme and rapid the disillusionment is once the honeymoon period ends.^{[16]
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PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
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- A realistic attitude and a commitment to treating your relationship like the work that it is can improve the odds that you two stick together in the long term.

Expert Q&A

Question

Why does the honeymoon phase of a relationship end?

Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards.

Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

The honeymoon phase begins to fizzle the moment the spark begins to fade. In the majority of relationships, the sheen on your relationship tarnishes and the newness wears off. As the relationship matures, you begin to experience a more comfortable, relaxed, and less performance based relationship. This can be a good thing!