How to Get an Uninterested Girl to Fall for You

Co-authored by Imad Jbara and Janice Tieperman

Last Updated: January 27, 2022 References

You’ve just met the girl of your dreams, but she didn't seem totally into you right away. That’s okay! While you can’t change the way she feels, you can change the way she thinks about you. We’ve put together some tips and tricks to help you get started, so you can put your best foot forward as you try to win her over.

1

Give off confident body language.

Make eye contact and act relaxed when you’re around her. In one study, researchers observed men at a bar to see who had the best shot at picking up women. Throughout the night, the researchers found that men who made eye contact, moved around, and acted comfortable ended up getting more positive attention.^{[1]
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Research source} With this in mind, do your best to move and act confidently whenever you cross paths with her next.
- For example, you might make eye contact throughout a conversation or use a lot of gestures while you talk.

2

Act enthusiastic and appreciative.

Show her that you’re genuine and down-to-earth. If she hasn’t seemed interested, flirting and playing hard-to-get won’t get you very far. Instead, pay close attention to her whenever you talk, and make it obvious that you’re listening. Try to sprinkle empathetic language into the conversation, so she feels heard and understood.^{[2]
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- You might say, “That’s fantastic!” or “I’m so happy for you!” if she shares something positive, or “I’m so sorry to hear that!” if she shares bad news.

3

Ask questions during the conversation.

Asking genuine questions helps you build a connection. The next time you’re both chatting, ask insightful questions about whatever she’s talking about.^{[3]
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Research source} Showing that you really care about her thoughts and feelings might pique her interest in you.
- If she’s complaining about having a busy schedule, you might ask, “What would you want to do if your afternoon was completely free?”
- If you can, stick to open-ended questions. Unfortunately, “yes” or “no” questions can make your chat feel more like an interrogation.^{[4]
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4

Make open-ended statements.

General, friendly statements can be great conversation-starters. Instead of flirting or saying a pick-up line, make a broad statement that’s really easy for her to reply to. With any luck, your conversation will help you build a positive connection with her.^{[5]
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- If you’re waiting in line for food, you might say “Wow, that pizza looks really good!” or “I hope this food is worth the wait.”

5

Highlight what you have in common.

She may feel more attracted to you if you have things in common.^{[6]
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Research source} Pay attention to her interests and hobbies, and turn them into a conversation-starter. Your chat might get the ball rolling in a positive direction!
- For example, you might say, “I love your hoodie! Are you a fan of the Blue Jays too?”
- If she likes reading, you might say, “I’m looking for something to read during study hall. Got any suggestions?”

6

Request a favor from her.

She might feel better about you after doing you a favor.^{[7]
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Research source} If you can, try asking the girl for a small request. With any luck, she might start viewing you in a different light!
- You might ask to borrow a pencil from her, or see if she can look something up for you on her phone.
- Psychologists call this the “Benjamin Franklin Effect” because of this popular Ben Franklin quote: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, then he whom you yourself have obliged.”^{[8]
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7

Pass by and greet her each day.

Becoming a familiar face could make her feel attracted to you. Also known as the “mere-exposure effect,” this is an easy way to build a rapport with the girl you like.^{[9]
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Research source} As you pass her, offer a friendly wave or say hi so she notices you. The more she sees you, the more positive she might end up feeling about you.
- Don’t go too overboard with this! While there’s nothing wrong with passing by and saying a quick hello, don’t follow her everywhere she goes. That might have the opposite effect.

8

Stick to basic greetings.

Pick-up lines aren’t always the smoothest way to start a conversation. Instead of being clever, focus on being genuine. Believe it or not, a simple “hi” or “hello” can go a lot further than a cheesy line like “Your beauty is unreal. May I pinch you to make sure I’m awake?”^{[10]
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- If you’d really like to give a pick-up line a try, go for something more creative. For instance, a line like “Did anyone ever tell you that you look like what you look like?” could be a funny, Zen-like way to break the ice.

9

Look your best.

Beauty isn’t everything, but it’s definitely part of the formula. During one study, researchers pretended to hook several women up to a lie detector. Then, they asked the women if good looks made men seem more attractive. Believing they were attached to a lie detector, the women admitted that men who looked good seemed more appealing.^{[11]
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- Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean that you have to break the bank on new clothes or hair products. Instead, focus on looking and feeling your best before seeing her again.

10

Ask your mutual friends for help.

They can put in a good word for you with her. If her friends like and trust you, she’s more likely to feel the same way, too.^{[12]
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Research source} Don’t go too over-the-top with this; instead, just offer a light, friendly suggestion and see how it goes.
- You might say, “I’ve got it really bad for Katie, but I don’t think she’s interested. Do you think you could put in a good word for me?”

Community Q&A

Question

I like a girl, but she doesn’t like me. What should I do?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

Try asking her a favor! Psychologists agree that people tend to feel more positive after helping someone out. In general, focus on being kind and polite, and not too overbearing with pick-up lines and other cliches.
Question

What are more signs of interest? The only type I've gotten from her is eye contact smiling and spending time with me.

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

Pay close attention to her body language. Licking lips, tilting the head, smiling, and blushing are all signs of interest.