How to Flirt With a Co worker (for Women)

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: October 21, 2021 References

Flirting with coworkers can relieve workplace tension and monotony. Some women flirt because they are interested in starting a romantic relationship with one of their coworkers. Others do it just for fun. Workplace flirting requires extra precautions because you must remain professional. You can still encourage some playful interaction between you and your coworker by engaging in friendly conversation, adjusting your body language, and dressing in a flirtatious but professional way.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Interacting With Your Coworker

1
Chat with them. Men tend to interpret friendly and talkative women as flirty.^{[1]
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Research source} Find excuses to chat with them when they are not busy. Some things you can try:
- Talk about hobbies, interests, and plans outside of work. "Any big plans for the weekend? I've been dying to see this new movie myself."
- Praise their recent accomplishments or awards: "I heard you just received an award! Any plans to celebrate?"
- Ask them about current projects by saying, "Hey, how is that current project going? Are you hanging in there?"^{[2]
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  Research source}
2
Laugh at their jokes. If your coworker makes a joke or says something even slightly funny, laugh. Laughing is a gentle way of flirting. It should not feel forced, nor should it seem as though you are laughing at your coworker.

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3
Compliment them.^{[3]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Appreciate the work that they do around the office, and praise them for their strengths. You want to make sure that you are appreciating their skills, abilities, and personality instead of their looks. Some good, flirty compliments include:
- "Great job on that last presentation. You'll have to give me some tips."
- "Thanks for helping with that last project. You make my life so much easier around here."
- "You have such good ideas. How do you come up with them?"
- Be extremely careful with workplace compliments. If it seems as though the recipient is awkward or uncomfortable, stop immediately.
4
Ask them for help. Asking people to help you can increase their self-esteem and confidence, which encourages them to flirt back with you.^{[4]
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Research source} It also shows that you appreciate their strengths in a work-friendly manner. It can even encourage them to spend more time with you. Some ways you try this include:
- "Hey, you're good with technology, right? Can you help me with my computer?"
- "Do you mind listening to me practice my presentation? I'd love to get your feedback on this."
- "Can you help me lock up tomorrow night?"
5
Hang out around their desk. Find excuses to drop by their desk. Perhaps you have a question about your project. Perhaps their desk is close to the coffee maker. As you pass by, make eye contact and ask them about their day.
- Walk by their desk, and try to catch their eye. If they look up at you, smile and ask, "how's your day been?" or "Are you hanging in there?"
- You can also ask, "how is the work going? Do you want to take a coffee break?" This gives them the opportunity to start a conversation if they are interested.
- Do not interrupt your coworker if they look as though they are busy with something else. Instead of being flirty, you might only annoy them.
6
Invite them out to coffee or lunch.^{[5]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} You may be feeling bolder, or you want to make the next step in your relationship. Instead of asking them to drinks or dinner, which can be too formal, try asking them if they would like to grab something to eat over your lunch break. Coffee is also a great way to bond with your coworker.
- A good way to ask is to just say, "Hey, we should catch up over lunch. Do you want to grab a bite to eat somewhere?"
7
Respect their boundaries. Your first priority at work is to do your job. Be warned that flirting at work can get you in trouble if someone complains. If your coworker seems uncomfortable or asks you to stop, do not continue flirting with them. Give them space by only talking to them about work-related matters for a few weeks.
- Before you make any moves whatsoever, review your workplace sexual harassment rules, as well as rules about relationships in the workplace. You can also talk to someone in the HR department if you have any further questions.
- Make workplace friendly jokes that have no sexual innuendo.
- Never flirt with your boss. They are in a position of power, and any flirting can cause professional difficulties for both of you. It is best to flirt with coworkers on your pay grade.
- Do not flirt with a coworker who is married or in a relationship. Even if a married coworker enjoys your flirting, you are putting both of you in a difficult situation.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Expressing Interest with Body Language

1
Make eye contact.^{[6]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Eye contact is one of the primary tactics of flirtation. Brief glances can show your attraction and interest in another person.^{[7]
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Research source} You can try looking across the room during a meeting or glancing across the table at lunch. Meet their eyes briefly before glancing down and away.
2
Smile. Smiling is an open and friendly act that invites people to interact with you. In fact, smiling may be one of the best ways to meet new people and start new relationships.^{[8]
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Research source} As your coworker passes your desk, glance up briefly and smile. If you catch their eye in a meeting, give them a quick grin. Don’t linger. A small smile is all it takes.
3
Show off your neck. When you know they are looking at you, try to casually flip your hair to show off your neck. This shows the curve of your neck while drawing attention to your hair.^{[9]
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Research source} This is a casual but flirty move that makes it seem as though you are not deliberately trying to catch their attention.
4
Lean over their desk. Leaning or orienting yourself towards another person signals that you are interested in them.^{[10]
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Research source} You can practice this while working on a project with your coworker. Lean over the desk to point out something. Reach out so that your arm is crossing their body without touching them. If you’re working on a shared computer, shift your body so that your feet and shoulders are tilted towards them.
5
Avoid touching. While gently touching someone is often a form of flirting, it can get you in trouble in the workplace.^{[11]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Try to use body language that does not involve physical contact. If your touching is unwanted, you can get in trouble for harassment.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Increasing Your Attractiveness

1
Wear make-up. Many men find women who wear make-up more appealing. Men typically like to flirt more with women whom they find attractive, so making yourself more attractive is especially important if you want to flirt with a co-worker. Eye make-up in particular can increase your flirtatiousness.^{[12]
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Research source}
2
Put on heels. Heels can increase your attractiveness to men. The higher your heels, the more likely men are to approach you.^{[13]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source} High heels can push your pelvis and chest out, arch your backside, and make your legs look tighter and more muscular—all of which make you more attractive.^{[14]
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Research source}
3
Apply light perfume. Perfume can boost your sex appeal but only if it is used sparingly.^{[15]
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Trustworthy Source
PLOS ONE
Online peer-reviewed, open access scientific research journal
Go to source} Spray once on your wrists. Rub your wrists together before dabbing them on your neck. This will give you just enough perfume to attract someone without annoying your other colleagues.
4
Maintain professional standards. While you should look appealing to your coworker, you must keep in mind that you have to look professional as well. Follow your workplace’s dress code. Avoid tight or short clothing that reveals too much skin. Instead, try to find clothes that fit your body’s shape without being too revealing.
- If you can, try using eye catching colors instead of revealing clothing.
- Wear jewelry to draw attention to your neck and arms.
- Make sure that your hair is brushed and styled in a way that both accentuates your features and provides minimal distraction to you while working.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How do I casually flirt with a coworker?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

If you want to be subtle while you're at work, just try saying some playful comments or making eye contact with the person to show you're interested in them.

Warnings

If your coworker rejects your advantages or if they appear uncomfortable, stop immediately. They could report you for sexual harassment if you continue.

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Some companies have rules against dating coworkers. Be aware if this applies to you.^{[16]
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Flirting can get you fired if someone complains. Be extremely careful with who you flirt with, and make sure that it is consensual.^{[17]
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