How to Do a Kissing Scene in Acting

Co-authored by Ben Whitehair

Last Updated: January 23, 2023

If you're a regularly performing actor, chances are you may have to complete a kissing scene at one point or another. However, after a couple rehearsals, this awkward situation can become just like any other part of the performance. Talk with your partner to ease any awkwardness, and get into character before the kiss. With some confidence and practice, you can easily do a kissing scene.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Getting Comfortable

1
Get to know your acting partner to break the ice. Ask your partner what their name is and what roles have been their favorite. Talk about the kiss itself, how long it should last, and if it should be passionate or short and sweet. Breaking the awkward tension of kissing someone unfamiliar can help you get comfortable with the kiss.^{[1]
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- For example, you can tell a joke or make light of the situation. Laughing about the kiss can reduce the pressure and make you both more comfortable.
2
Talk it over with your romantic partner to eliminate any worries. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and feel like kissing someone else will feel unfaithful, discuss your concerns with them before it's time for the kiss. This way, you'll ease your anxiety and get reassurance from your partner.
- Say something like, “Hey, John, I have to kiss someone in the next play. I feel weird about it, though.”
- Reassure your partner that this is just a part of your job and it has no romantic implications.
- If your partner is still uncomfortable with the situation, it may be helpful to address the jealousy.
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3
Get into character before you kiss the other actor. To help the scene seem less uncomfortable, identify with the character you are performing rather than yourself. Embody the role you are acting, and act as if it is that character doing the kissing, not you. It is helpful to practice your lines, research the role, and act out some other scenes.^{[2]
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- Distancing yourself from the circumstance can help you deliver the kiss with confidence.
- When you do this, pay particular attention to the actor's motives. Are they trying to seduce a partner? Showcase their love? Then, communicate the character's emotions, thoughts, and motives through the scene.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Practicing the Kiss

1
Understand the type of kiss to deliver an authentic performance. Is the kiss a long, passionate expression of love? Or are you giving a short, sweet kiss goodbye? Generally, you can get the premise of the kiss based on the script. If you need clarification, discuss the kiss with your director. Knowing exactly what is expected of you will help you practice properly and give a well-executed smooch.^{[3]
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- Depending on the stage or camera setup, you may not even be required to make lip contact with the other actor. Instead, you can do a “stage kiss,” where you cover the other actor's lips with your thumb discreetly.
2
Practice the kiss at least once before the main performance. When you practice the kissing scene, genuinely kiss your partner to get familiar with the action. This way, you can deliver a passionate, realistic smooch rather than an uncomfortable peck. Choreograph your kiss like you would a dance routine by practicing where to turn your head and what to do with your hands. Do this in practices and dress rehearsals before the main performance.^{[4]
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- If you shy away from the kiss at first, kiss the other actor several times repeatedly until you can detach from the action.
- When practicing the kiss, make sure the other actor is on the same page. Read their body language and discuss anything you are uncomfortable with.
3
Talk about the kiss execution after you practice it. After the scene is over, discuss the situation with the other actor. Ask what they thought worked well and suggest ways to improve the overall scene, such as a head tilt or a slowing of pace.^{[5]
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- Ultimately, you are working together to deliver an authentic performance, and discussing the scene critically can help improve the acting and make you more comfortable.
- Say things like, “Man, that was weird. Can we try again so I don't feel as nervous?”

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Going in for the Kiss

1
Brush your teeth and use breath mints before the kiss. To make the kiss as pleasant as possible, it is important to have great oral hygiene. Brush your teeth before you go to the rehearsal or performance, and pop in a breath mint 20-60 minutes before the kissing scene.
- No one wants to kiss someone with bad breath, even if it's acting.
2
Make eye contact with your acting partner before you touch lips. Look your partner in the eyes when the kissing scene comes. This makes sure you are both ready for the scene, so the kiss does not turn out awkward or embarrassing.
3
Move in for the kiss slowly and calmly. When it's time for the kiss, don't rush the moment. This can make the situation look forced and anxious, rather than passionate and sweet. Slowly move your head toward theirs until your lips are almost touching.^{[6]
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- This way, your partner can make their movements based on your cues.
4
Pucker your lips slightly as you get closer to your partner's lips. To deliver a genuine, passionate smooch, push your lips outward gently as your head gets closer to theirs. Kiss your partner with gentle force, whether it is a passionate kiss or a short peck.
- This way, your kiss looks genuine and real, rather than fake and forced.
5
Imagine kissing someone else to make the situation less weird. If you can't make the kiss seem believable, picture you are kissing someone else instead of the other actor. Pick your boyfriend or girlfriend, or go with an attractive celebrity or model. This way, you can get into the kiss without it feeling fake.^{[7]
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- Visualize the other person's face, and picture yourself kissing their lips instead of the other actor's.
- This may take some convincing, but with some imagination you can distract yourself until the scene is over.
6
Avoid taking the kiss too seriously. Ultimately, the kiss is just part of the role, and it will be over before you know it. Think of it as a mechanical action as part of your job, rather than a scary moment to lead up to. This way, you'll put the pressure off of yourself so you can focus on your job–acting.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I make the person I'm kissing more comfortable?

Ben Whitehair
Acting Coach
Ben Whitehair is a Social Media Expert and the Chief Operating Officer (COO) of TSMA Consulting. With over a decade of experience in the social media space, he specializes in leveraging social media for business and building relationships. He also focuses on social media’s impact on the entertainment industry. Ben graduated summa cum laude from The University of Colorado at Boulder with BAs in Theatre and Political Science as well as a Leadership Certificate. In addition to his work as CIO, Ben is a certified business and mindset coach and National Board Member of SAG-AFTRA. He is also a successful entrepreneur as the Co-Founder of Working.Actor, the premier business academy and coaching community for actors.

Ben Whitehair

Acting Coach

Expert Answer

A lot of it is about creating a healthy, safe space for people and honoring boundaries. You really need to have that conversation ahead of time. Talk about how intense the kiss will be. Is the person okay with using tongue? Are there any places they don't like to be touched? Having that talk about boundaries before you actually do the scene is going to create safety and make everyone more comfortable, which will also make the scene better.
Question

What's a good amount of time for a kiss to last in a wedding scene?

Community Answer

2 to 4 seconds. The characters are in love, so you want to kiss to be more than a peck, but it's in church, so they'd want to keep it classy.
Question

How can I make the actor feel more comfortable about kissing me?

Community Answer

Make jokes, be friendly, and tell him it's OK to kiss you because it's only for the the play.

Warnings

Avoid using tongue unless it's already been planned with your director. Typically, a simple passionate kiss will suffice in most scenes.

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Don't kiss your acting partner without consent first. Make sure the other actor is aware of the upcoming scene when practicing.

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