How to Cheer Up a Friend Who Lives Far Away

Co-authored by Jessica George, MA, CHt and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: July 6, 2022 References

It's hard to know how to cheer up your friend when you can't be by their side. Thankfully, there are so many ways you can help that don't involve meeting in person. If you're looking for some ideas to help comfort a friend through hard times, this article is here to help. You'll have your BFF smiling again in no time!

1

Text them to let them know that they’re on your mind.

This simple gesture can really brighten your friend's day. If your friend is in need of comfort, send them frequent reminders that you're thinking of them. Try to reach out every day to tell them that you miss them and can't wait to see them again. Share that something reminded you of them in class that day. It will let your friend know that they're still very much a presence in your life even if they're far away.^{[1]
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- Texting something like, "Thinking of you! Hope you're having a great day."
- Send a video of yourself jamming to their favorite song. Say something like, "This came on the radio and it made me wish you were here so bad! Miss you."

2

List why you think they’re special.

If they've been down on themselves lately, they may need a reminder. Send them a list of all the reasons you think they're amazing. Whether it be their kind and compassionate nature, their sense of style, or their knack for finding the coolest music, tell them why you are so grateful to know them.^{[2]
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- Preface your list with a text like, "Hey just in case you're wondering, these are all the reasons why I think you're the coolest!"

3

Remind them of your favorite friendship memories.

Help them remember all of the good times. Message them a random shared memory that always makes you smile. Next time you talk on the phone, reminisce with them about all of the fun experiences you two have had. It will hopefully brighten their mood and remind them of the positive things in life.
- Call them out of the blue to share a memory that's on your mind. Say something like, "I just remembered when we wore those wild outfits to that school dance. What were we thinking?!"
- Text them, "Do you ever think about all those over-the-top pranks we pulled on my little brother? Good times."

4

Ask if there’s anything you can do to help.

Different people prefer to be comforted in different ways. Ask if there's anything specific you can do to help your friend. The question alone will show that you care, and your friend will appreciate your kind offer.^{[3]
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- Text them something like, "I'm sorry things have been rough. Is there anything I can do to help?"
- While you're talking on the phone, say something like, "What can I do to help? I'm always here if you need anything."

5

Message them a funny picture or meme.

Provide a humorous distraction. Next time you see a funny cat picture online or a meme that you know your friend would like, send it their way. Avoid sending something funny during a deep discussion or right after your friend has confided in you, though. Wait for a more lighthearted conversation or send it randomly to start a new one.^{[4]
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- Text your friend a SpongeBob meme with the caption, "Thought you would like this."
- Message them a silly picture of your dog along with the text, "Toby misses you!"

6

Schedule a virtual hangout.

Make it more of an event than your usual phone calls and Skype dates. Watch a movie over Zoom or FaceTime together. Pick a recipe and make it in your respective kitchens. Schedule a virtual game night. It'll be a welcome distraction for your friend and will help remind them of all the fun you two can still have together.^{[5]
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- Pick something that you know your friend will like and plan the event for them. It'll make them feel super valued to know that you went out of your way to cheer them up.
- If you're feeling particularly festive, plan a virtual party for your pal and invite a few of your mutual friends.^{[6]
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7

Make them a playlist.

Pick a bunch of music that's sentimental to your friendship. Alternatively, choose new songs that you think your friend will like. Either way, make it personal and unique to them. When in doubt, go for uplifting music that will make them feel good.^{[7]
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- To stay in touch, make the playlist collaborative. That way, you both can keep adding music to share with each other.

8

Mail them a letter or a postcard.

This is a classic way to show someone that you care. First, draft what you want to include in your letter. Try things like updates about what's been going on in your life, all the reasons you miss them, and fond memories you have of the last time you hung out. When you decide what to include, write it out on some nice paper. Mail the letter to their address and text them that something is coming their way soon.^{[8]
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- For a creative touch, write your message on a postcard. Find one with an image that reminds you of your friend.
- For example, if you and your friend once hiked to a waterfall in your area, choose a postcard with a picture of that waterfall.

9

Send them a gift.

Surprise them with something special to make their day. Arrange for flowers to be delivered to their apartment. Mail them one of their favorite albums on vinyl. You don't have to go all out in terms of spending, either. A homemade gift, like a knitted scarf or a piece of artwork, will lift their spirits all the same.
- Other ideas include a candle in a scent that you know they like, a gift card to a restaurant that they go to a lot, and a funny T-shirt that references their favorite show.

10

Talk about the future.

Envision what you'll do together when you're reunited. Even if you don't have a plan in the works, this can help your friend feel more hopeful. Brainstorm things you would love to do together, like taking a trip to a city you've never been to before, starting a band, or seeing your favorite artist in concert.^{[9]
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- Make a friendship bucket list for all the things you want to try together.

11

Make a plan to visit them.

Schedule a trip to stay with them and help them in person. Though this might not always be feasible, it'll be a very welcome gesture if you can. Make travel arrangements to drive or fly to the city they live in. If that's too far away, agree to meet somewhere in the middle.^{[10]
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- Once you plan the trip, count down the days on your calendar and share updates with your friend as it gets closer. Keep reminding them that there are fun things to look forward to in the future.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you comfort a grieving friend who is far away?

Ebony Eubanks, MSW, ACSW, CAMS-II
Therapist
Ebony Eubanks is a Therapist, and Founder and CEO of Peaceful Living Counseling and Professional Services of Philadelphia, PA and in Hockessin, DE. With over a decade of experience providing counseling and coaching to individuals, couples, and groups, she specializes in depression, anxiety, couples work, life guidance coaching, and anger management. Ebony holds a Master’s in Social Work from Temple University and is a member of the Academy of Certified Social Workers. She is a Certified Anger Management Specialist-II, Level II trained Gottman Couples Therapist. and Certified Gestalt Therapist. Ebony also holds additional certifications in Advanced Clinician Training.

Ebony Eubanks, MSW, ACSW, CAMS-II

Therapist

Expert Answer

Be available and supportive, and offer a listening ear whenever possible. Explain that you may not understand what they're going through, but you're there to support them. You could even send a care package to remind them that you're there for them.
Question

I moved far away from my best friend, how do I make sure she doesn’t find a new best friend?

Tara Burke

Top Answerer

It’s okay if she makes more friends - after all, you wouldn’t want her to be lonely. Focus on staying best friends with her instead of stopping her from making more. Text and phone call her, tell her you miss her, send letters to each other, and (if possible) plan to visit each other/hang out.